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AMA
Original poster

I'm a Church of England parish priest - AMA

408 replies

whyhere · 03/12/2022 08:37

Baptisms, weddings, funerals, Sunday worship, belief in general - I'm at your service 🙂

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Original poster
whyhere · 03/12/2022 21:55

stopbeeping · 03/12/2022 13:11

What's the worst confession you've ever heard

I would never share anything heard in confession.

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Vincitveritas · 03/12/2022 21:56

PeterRabbitHadACarrot · 03/12/2022 17:11

Do you think your God is sadistic or has sadistic tendencies ?
What about Lilith? Are men and women equal ?
Do you think a lot of people who are Christians are going to hell? Do YOU live as the bible tells you ? I don't believe in hell but hypothetically I think the only Christians not going are the Armish.

Do you really think someone would dedicate their life to a God they think is sadistic?!

What about Lilith? The word is mentioned only once in some translations of the Bible and usually taken to mean a screech owl.

I agree that, on the whole, the Armish are delightful.

Original poster
whyhere · 03/12/2022 21:56

Yika · 03/12/2022 13:13

And by extension - do you have a mainly elderly congregation or also families and young people?

We have a pretty good mix across the age ranges.

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Original poster
whyhere · 03/12/2022 21:58

MrsXx4 · 03/12/2022 13:13

What do you think of parents who begin attending church while the school applications are open? Then hand you the form for the school for you to say that the parents are known to the church so that they can get their kids into the good school in the area which happens to be C of E?

Do you see right through those parents?

Obviously a total random question and not something that I would do….. 🤥

We know, of course, when people simply want the signature on the paper. However, it's encouraging that they want their child to attend a school where faith is important.

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Original poster
whyhere · 03/12/2022 21:59

PlaitBilledDuckyPuss · 03/12/2022 13:16

Another question - would you allow an agnostic (openly so) and a Christian to marry in your church, where the agnostic is supportive of the Christian's faith but doesn't share it?

Asking because this was DH and me - we married in a register office in the end but I'm curious to know if church would have been an option, had DH felt strongly about it.

You would have been entirely welcome. There is no requirement to have faith to be married in a parish church.

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Original poster
whyhere · 03/12/2022 22:00

MissConductUS · 03/12/2022 13:18

How is the American Episcopal Church generally perceived within the C of E? Is their ordination of openly gay clergy that much of an issue? Full disclosure, I'm an American Episcopalian.

In my experience the people in the pews are really not exercised about the gay issue at all. Episcopalians are our brothers and sisters.

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Marshmallowmountain · 03/12/2022 22:00

I want my son to be christened but we don’t have enough christened friends to be god parents - what are our options?

Jason118 · 03/12/2022 22:04

Is religion a form of madness, or delusion?

Original poster
whyhere · 03/12/2022 22:05

badassbaby · 03/12/2022 13:22

If God is real why did he allow my father to rape me whilst I was a child?
This one fact makes it absolutely impossible for me to believe in God.

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I'm so sorry that this terrible thing happened to you: I entirely understand why this makes faith feel impossible for you.

My understanding of the way that God interacts with creation is that we have been given free will and, sadly, some people horribly misuse that gift. I don't believe that God steps into every situation, much as we might wish that s/he would. The occasional miracles where God does intervene are (it seems to me) an example of how everything is made whole and perfect in the next life.

I do hope that you've been able to access appropriate help to enable you to try to process your dreadful experience in childhood.

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Vincitveritas · 03/12/2022 22:07

Do you get disheartened about the general negative attitude towards Christians in society?

How do you comfort someone who is suffering deep emotional upset from say, the loss of a child?

Original poster
whyhere · 03/12/2022 22:07

Coralpop · 03/12/2022 13:35

Ooh I've got a serious question and I'd love to know what you think.

To me, it seems quite obvious that a lot going on in the bible was actually aliens: virgins becoming mysteriously pregnant, angels with halos (helmets?) descending from the sky down ladders (space craft), stars moving in the sky (space craft), miracles etc. In the old testament gods appearing in fiery chariots (space craft).

Do you think it could be possible that God, and by extension Jesus, were/are travellers from another civilisation?

It's an interesting idea, but I don't think that, no. I believe that God is more than capable of causing things to happen that we see as supernatural, and that God intervened in our world in the form of Jesus.

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Original poster
whyhere · 03/12/2022 22:08

Terrysnotmine · 03/12/2022 14:26

How do you feel about parents that are blatantly just coming to church so their child can be christened to attend church schools?. I know a friend of mine had her daughter christened 4 years ago, never attended church either before or after and then asked the Vicar to sign a form to get into a catholic school (which the Vicar duly did).

See earlier answer 🙂

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Original poster
whyhere · 03/12/2022 22:08

eveoha · 03/12/2022 14:50

Do you think the Cof E is the Tory party at prayer ☘️👍🏿

Absolutely not: most clergy I know vote Labour and read the Guardian!

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Original poster
whyhere · 03/12/2022 22:09

Toddlerteaplease · 03/12/2022 14:58

No one in their right mind would, my friend is a bishop. It's an awful job. None stop hard grind. (For the RC's anyway)

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Absolutely!

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Vincitveritas · 03/12/2022 22:10

Jason118 · 03/12/2022 22:04

Is religion a form of madness, or delusion?

Uncalled for.

Original poster
whyhere · 03/12/2022 22:11

VioletLemon · 03/12/2022 15:04

Do you take the bible literally or see it an Education for moral choices and to promote humanitarian spirit. Do you support gay people or view being gay as a sin. I'm completely non religious but I find it very interesting how the main tenets of big religion seem to be similar. So called 'sins' seem to have been added in by various leaders over the years.

I'm not a biblical literalist. I believe that the Bible is a mixture of facts and stories to help us to understand basic truths about God, life and death.

I support equal marriage and will be delighted when I am allowed to marry same sex couples.

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Original poster
whyhere · 03/12/2022 22:13

HotWashCycle · 03/12/2022 15:05

What do you feel can be done about the age profile of congregations? Where I live there is nobody in the congregation under 60, though the primary school has an annual service in the church. How can children and adults be brought into knowledge of God when the church (and I mean the church leaders as much as parish priests) are literally preaching only to the converted)? What has happened to the need to spread God's word. It worries and puzzles me the church is not proactive in reaching out to tell people about God.

While it's important for clergy to mix with their wider community, I think church members sometimes leave all the outreach to their priest. This isn't realistic - surveys over the decades have shown that the reason most people start attending church is because a friend has invited them, so we all need to reach out to others.

I spend a lot of time in the schools in our parish and the children would love to be more involved in church; it's the parents who won't bring them, sadly.

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Original poster
whyhere · 03/12/2022 22:14

Lottsbiffandsmudge · 03/12/2022 15:26

As an administrator for 3 churches (one vicar) I can tell you that being a vicar is often much more than a full time job. Including evenings and every weekend. My boss struggled to keep her one day a week off clear. And funerals are never on a weekend!!!! Sadly we do more of those than anything at the moment.

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Exactly!

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Original poster
whyhere · 03/12/2022 22:15

CraftyGin · 03/12/2022 15:30

How do you get on with your churchwardens?

Very well.

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Original poster
whyhere · 03/12/2022 22:17

ofwarren · 03/12/2022 15:42

Do you believe that some people are 'born in the wrong body' and that its possible to change sex?

I believe that some people have great discomfort about their birth sex, and need help to find a way forward from that.

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Original poster
whyhere · 03/12/2022 22:19

sweatyannie · 03/12/2022 15:43

What's your thoughts of the church's ability to be transparent in the safeguarding children ?

I'm not absolutely sure what you are asking, but what I can say is that we all have to undertake regular, extremely thorough safeguarding training, and know that we must report anything of concern.

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SarahAndQuack · 03/12/2022 22:19

This thread itself is making me want to ask: do you mind if people in your congregation, who aren't ordained, have views on scripture or liturgy or whatever? I am very conscious that vicars have studied a lot. In our church, our vicar organises various study sessions, and I am never sure at what level he expects people to participate.

Original poster
whyhere · 03/12/2022 22:20

FestiveCrunch · 03/12/2022 16:16

What would you say if one of your flock lost her only child to suicide?

How would you convince her to keep breathing herself when her own life has no meaning?

I wouldn't dream of trying to convince her of anything, or at least not for a very long time, and not until she was ready to engage with that.

In such a tragedy my role is to listen, and listen, and listen, and listen.....

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Original poster
whyhere · 03/12/2022 22:21

eveoha · 03/12/2022 16:24

Convinced OP IS a journo

I'm truly not! And I'm not sure what a journalist would get from this, to be honest.

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kittenkipping · 03/12/2022 22:24

I attended church with my Nan through my childhood. As an adult, driving with my children, we once passed a church. My daughter asked to stop as there was a queue and she wanted to go. It felt to me, like a call back. I've been agnostic but yearning for the faith I had as a child for all of my adult life. I parked and queued and attended service and returned for many weeks. Eventually I stopped because it became more and more apparent that

a- many thought we were there to get the children into church school
B- others thought that children shouldn't be there and my youngest asking questions was wrong and
C- we were not local or know or regulars and didn't belong (it was about 10miles from my house- there were closer congregations but that one spoke to me)

I was 30 years younger than any other attendee. They were all women. They were a clique and imo there for social and not god.

My question is this - honestly, do you think you're congregation would do the same? And if they did would you do something? And do you believe that all of your members believe? Or do you think some are there for other reasons? (Reasons of which many are fair- warmth, community, loneliness- I imagine many go for these reasons and imo the god I sort of maybe believe in would definitely approve)