I'm a Church of England parish priest - AMA

[whyhere]

Baptisms, weddings, funerals, Sunday worship, belief in general - I'm at your service 🙂

I am proud of your DH too for this - and well done to both of you!

Thank you @erinaceus and @whyhere for drawing this project to my attention. I had never heard of it before and have just looked at all the information about it and was moved to tears by it. I need to get involved and will definitely submit an answered prayer, if not several. Thank you.

Hi there

I have never felt the need to believe, I'm not an atheist but I've been in gatherings (not in church) where a priest has given blessings at an open wake and I can see that it gives people comfort

Is converting non believers something that is encouraged?

I've had a few religious people ask me what I do instead of praying and I always find it a bit strange. I say if I really want answers on a situation I figure it out myself but that leads to them not understanding my lack of belief

You are answering some very good questions and you seem to enjoy your job 🙂

Thanks for your question.

Christianity is, on the whole, less zealous about trying to convert others than some faiths but, frankly, I think it's not so much because it's not encouraged but rather because many Christians in this country are middle-class 'nice' people who find the whole idea of evangelising really embarrassing! In fact one of Jesus' instructions to his followers was to 'make disciples of all nations', so it's fairly clear what he had in mind!

I do enjoy what I do, mainly because I truly believe that it's what God wants me to be doing.

Thank you for this very interesting thread. You sound so warm and welcoming.

I have a question if you don't mind.

I attend church fairly regularly. I suppose I must believe in God and Jesus, I do pray but I wouldn't call myself a strong believer. Perhaps this doesn't matter.

My question is a practical one, how can we/I strive to be a better person? I'm pithy and have opinions, I'm probably too quick to judge, I get impatient and cross (inwardly if not outwardly), I find life's mundanities amusing.

Should we / I accept this as our character, or attempt to improve ourselves to be more Christian? And how would I go about this?

The ladies at my church are so wonderfully calm and warm. I'd like to be 'better' like them.

Hello. Thanks for taking the time to do this. I have a question regarding communion. I haven't taken communion in a long time. I was originally confirmed in an (C of E) church abroad where it was normal to dip the communion wafer into the wine rather than drink directly. When I did this in the UK I was glared at! Is it a terrible faux pas? What is the procedure exactly?

@AnyRandomName I feel some of what you describe, and I recently read something about "practicing the Pause" which resonated with me. Trying, I suppose, to BE, mindfully. Pause before you speak and ask yourself is it kind? Is it true? Is it useful?
I also find myself actively trying to spend time with people who bring out the best in me, and make me want to be the best version of myself that I can be.
I'm a fledgling at it all, but I feel I'm making progress very slowly.
I hope you and the op don't mind me jumping in with my wurblings. 🙂

This is a bit embarrassing, but I shoplifted a small item last week and felt really ashamed about it afterwards. I can't claim I didn't know what I was doing though, and whilst I could brush it off as a petty thing, stealing is not only a crime but against the ten commandments. I wouldn't even say that I'm a strict Christian in terms of going to church etc, but it's playing on my conscience. Not only do I feel really ashamed and stupid, I feel like I crossed a line, lowered myself, went against God. I'm just wondering what you might advise me, thank-you.

Thank you for your kind comments.

It sounds to me as though you are going in exactly the right direction. I believe that finding life's mundanities amusing is one of the most helpful ways to cope with it all!

In terms of improving ourselves (which is a lifelong process - we're not 'fixed' until we stand before God at the end), I would say that there are a few things that help: keep reading about the life of Jesus (particularly in the Gospels and Acts); when unsure in any situation, ask 'What Would Jesus Do? (WWJD - remember the wristbands?); listen - to your inner voice, and for anything God may want to say to you, and to others with whom you interact - proper listening is one of the most Christian things we can do for another person.

The calmness you describe is a great thing to see, and it's generally found in those whose faith has reached the point where, no matter how rough the sea, their boat remains untroubled by the waves and they continue moving forwards. You'll get there 😊

Thanks for an interesting question.

In the CofE in the past, when there was a big scare about bird flu, intincting (the posh word for 'dipping'!) was encouraged. However, this time around it has been absolutely forbidden (we have been told to reintroduce sharing the chalice at all communion services, but obviously it is individual choice whether or not to partake) because one or two people always stick their fingers into the wine as well as the wafer, which is gross!

I course I don't mind! Very helpful - thanks.

I think the first thing you need to do is to speak to someone in confidence (your GP would be a good first port of call) as you need to work out why this happened. It sounds as though it was an outward sign of some distress that you're feeling.

Where God is concerned, it's really easy, because God is already on your side 😊In a form of words that works for you, pray this:
Dear Lord, you know what I've done, and even though I'm puzzled by it, you understand why. I feel ashamed and stupid. Please protect those in the shop, so that they aren't blamed for it, and please protect me, so that I never do such a foolish thing again. I ask for your forgiveness, and your help to do better. Amen.

Then take a deep breath, lift up your head, and move on: you are forgiven.

I think GPs have enough to do than speak to someone as to why they stole something!!! Surely that's what 'your' job is, invite them to speak to their minister dig down, not just give a twee answer about prayers which do nothing for anyone else.
Ask they why they did it, are they hungry, are they broke and need something they can't live without, is it a dare? are they in danger ... surely that's what the local minister could do, then, at that point signpost to the people who can help, there are precious few GP appointments left without taking things up without querying first as to the immediate intentions in the first place and signposting after using some gumption

@custardbear GP is actually an appropriate person to speak to as out of character shop lifting is an indication of poor mental health and GP intervention would be needed.

Hi @whyhere thank you for this very interesting thread. I work for the C of E in a parish admin role, mainly for the parish priest. Very happy in my role even though not a practising Christian and am in fact was confirmed RC in my teens while at RC school.I haven't read the full thread but how did you receive your calling? How did you know you wanted to become a priest?Is my job with the Parish some sort of calling?

Sorry @whyhere my tag to you didn't work in my above post.

I don't mind the suggestion of speaking to a GP and I'm grateful the OP has taken the time to answer. I don't see how the OP could counsel me much further than they have in this format. Unfortunately, what I've needed for most of my life is psychotherapy, but the NHS just give you a 6week course of CBT (after a 6 month wait) which doesn't scratch the surface when your case is complex and related to trauma. At least I didn't get a criminal record, and the shame is enough to put me off doing it again. I've said the prayer.

Gosh - this could be a very long answer! It would also be outing, potentially, so I'll keep it brief.

I became a Christian as an adult - my parents had no church connection. I worked for the church in a voluntary capacity and then, one day, when ordination was a topic in the news, I clearly heard a voice (God?) saying, "Right - that's what you should be doing." I was very shocked and fought it for two years, but God wouldn't go away!

Knowing how tough the job of a parish administrator is, I'd definitely say that it's a calling!

Thank you: exactly.

Thank you for your gracious response.

Re psychotherapy, it might be worth investigating some of the charities who help with funding towards therapy, and also looking at the various Christian counselling organisations (but check the qualifications of the counsellors!!) as they will sometimes work on a 'what you can afford' basis.

Thank you for your answer. I have a follow up from my husband! He is Catholic but sometimes attends C of E services. In his church there is no communion wine given - is it acceptable to just accept the communion wafer? Sorry if it sounds like we are obsessed but we both want to take communion but (especially since Covid) are worried about hygiene too!

Yes, entirely acceptable, so much so that it has its own expression: 'receiving in one kind".

I'm Catholic and can remember growing up that there was no communion under both kinds. We were taught that's because receiving the host, the body of Christ, is complete and whole and perfect and it is not "necessary" to also receive the blood. You could receive the blood of Christ on Corpus Christi, otherwise it wasn't offered.
In about 1990 or so (can't remember when), communion under both kinds was introduced into the Catholic church in the UK. Took a while for it to get established really as many Catholics brought up on the Body of Christ being complete doctrine were reluctant to take the chalice at first.
I moved to Austria several years ago and interestingly the Catholic church does not offer communion under both kinds at all.

@whyhere thanks for your reply! Perhaps my job is a calling. It is certainly a very interesting role and despite its challenges I am happy and settled. I would not want to go back to corporate life now.

What do C of E priests think of RC priests and RCs in general? This is something I would like to ask the vicar I work for, but as yet haven't.

I disagree, a discussion with someone else first who could direct them to a health professional, such as people who first go to a pharmacist to see if they can help first before going to clinical staff.
Clinical staff are so under pressure, people who are able to chat things through should intervene first - it could be many things that are not MH related ... relieve the pressure on the NHS clinical staff where you can