I'm in a private mental health hospital AMA

[Gigi20]

Arrived here a week ago

Thank you

OP, I had a nervous breakdown relatively recently and it was awful. If I could have gone somewhere safe and secure, got my meds and started therapy, and known my children were ok, it would have been good. I did it at home in the end, with the help of my family, but some time to rest, sleep, recuperate and for the meds to kick in would have been very helpful.

What's the accommodation like, do you have to share a room, are the other patients chatty? I'm kind of interested in everything really!

I also second that it's amazing that you asked for help and you are doing the best thing for your family. There is no shame in your MH failing, it happens to the best of us (and also those who have been keeping going for so long, I suspect). I did feel embarrassed at the time, but I don't now and I blab about it to everyone!

Rooms are ok, we all have our own room. Other patients do chat and ask after you .

Thats one of the problems, I feel like I made things worse by taking an overdose. I do think it was a cry for help but not a great way to ask for it.

It's done now though, the way is forward, don't feel bad about that, everyone around you will just be concerned with you getting better.

How are you doing today, @Gigi20? It's a bit boring in hospital at the weekends. Do you have any visitors? Are you allowed leave with family/friends?

I'm not great today but thank you for asking. I'm allowed out on my own now, went for a walk and it was quite depressing. Seeing all the families out and about.
I miss my children being small and wished I had done more with them.
I feel like I'm never going to be happy again.

I'm sorry to hear you were having a bad day yesterday, I hope today is better. It's good you have some leave and can get some fresh air.

It is hard, our children growing up. I long sometimes for mine to be tiny again. I know it's hard not to look back, but we can't change the past. Have a look up Radical Acceptance. Maybe think of something you can do with your children now?

I remember feeling I was never going to be happy again after my mental breakdown. It's a horrible feeling. But you will, even though it doesn't feel like it now.

What happens when your insurance runs out? Do you get discharged? Moved to an NHS hospital?

I hope the time there is helping.

When insurance runs out I can get treated as an out patient. NHS is for severely ill people I wouldn't even qualify for a bed.

I hope you had a better day today Gigi. My ds has been in a private hospital coming up 3 years now. No questions because I am living through it but I wanted to wish you well. It will take time, lots of time, but I really hope you start to feel well enough to go home very soon. Baby steps. Best wishes.

Thank you
i know it will take time. I'm frightened of going home and not being able to feel better. I think they will all feel mum is back to normal. I know my husband isn't going to be the most supportive

That’s crap if you don’t have support. Going through all this stuff is horrific on your own. I can only go on personal experience as my MH was the pits (and still is) with everything going on with ds. I ended up paying for a private counsellor that I see every week. Just to have someone to let it all out to is really working for me. It’s not cheap but if you can afford it I would recommend it. Hope you’re ok x

Hey everyone, I thought I would come back to this thread if anyone wanted an update?

I ended up staying in the hospital for 2 1/2 months. Came home just before Christmas.
Happy to answer any questions anyone may have .

How are you doing now?
Do you think the time spent in hospital helped?

Thanks for offering to update.

As above: how are you feeling now? Did the therapy help in the end or do you feel drug therapy was more useful?

Sorry for the late reply!

It definitely helped, but was a rollercoaster ride for sure.
I am so much better then when I first went in, can update fully tomorrow if anyone is interested?

Hi so pleased your feeling better than you did, yes I would like an update, your posts seems lighter well done x

So glad you are feeling better @Gigi20. Do you think it worked for you? Or was it more the medication? Are you still getting support now you are home?

So, I ended up staying for 2 1/2 months. The insurance company were very good.

However, the first 3 weeks were not good. The psychiatrist I had was awful (that is a long story!). He refused to get me 1-1 counselling and just wanted to dose me up with meds.
This initially helped, as before I went in I couldn't sleep or eat and had lost a tremendous amount of weight.

It was a real fight but I managed to change psychiatrist and he immediately changed my meds and arranged 1-1 counselling.

At first I thought the group therapy was a waste of time but once I threw myself into it, I found it really did help.

I have lost a lot of "friends" on this journey but equally have made some really great friends from the hospital. I think the love and support from them has really got me through and one amazing friend on the "outside" who didn't give up on me.

Honestly, there is so much to tell! I'm happy to answer any questions. Overall, yes I'm so glad I went in and I'm so lucky that I had the insurance to cover the cost.

It did actually save my life

Thanks for sharing your story, I’m reading at the moment in a scared position (as
a parent) so it’s good hearing that you have been able to look forward and move your life on to more hopefully stable and secure ground.
You said before that you didn’t think your husband was going to be very supportive of you when you did get home, how did that work out?
Is group therapy everyone sitting around talking about their problems? Sorry if that’s a stupid question!

@TheChosenTwo
Not a stupid question at all! That's why I started this thread.
I'm sorry you are going through this, I know my own parents were terrified for me and I honestly thought I wouldn't get better. But I am so much better and it will for your child.

I had huge support from my parents and siblings and although they told me I would get better I didn't believe it. It's also important to let your child know that they can't help it and are ill . The guilt you feel for your family is immense and once you accept that you can't help feeling this way it helps your recovery.

The groups are a mixture of different therapies. You would always start with how you are feeling at that point. Some were talking groups and yes you would talk about your problems.
It does help because the other patients really do get it.
I remember people saying to me " to count my blessings" and " how can you be so depressed when you have so much going for you?" These comments really really do not help someone going through crisis.

The other groups are a mixture of different therapies, you would have CBT, DBT, Emotion Regulation, Developing Compassion, Mindfulness, Distress Tolerance and things like Art Therapy, Meditation and Exercise and Healthy Relationships.

You really get a taste of different therapies and which ones work for you.

To answer you other question it hasn't been great with my husband ( A whole other story) but I'm so much stronger now to deal with things.

Honestly, there is so much to say. I think the really important thing is to find a good therapist and psychiatrist.
I had seen a few different therapist before my admission and they definitely made me worse.

Please feel free to ask any questions you have, I was in such a dark dark place and I started this thread to try and help people going through the same x

Thanks so much for taking time to compose such a well thought out response.
I’m at breaking point with worry and can’t see a way forward at the moment so it’s really encouraging to see that it’s possible for people to emerge from the darkness.
How old are you (if that’s not too rude to ask!) and how far back can you identify feeling unwell?

@TheChosenTwo
You can ask anything you want, can PM me if it helps!
I'm 52 :(

My anxiety started at a very young age 8/9ish.
I suffered horrendous bullying at secondary school and lost a close, young family member from a tragic accident.
Back then mental health really wasn't a "thing". I truly believe if I had received help my life would have been completely different.
I went through quite a lot of trauma through my life and made some very poor choices and made so many mistakes.

Thankfully, mental health is viewed completely different now, although as I said before I have lost a fair few friends who really don't understand.

Going through this has certainly been eye opening and in a way I'm glad it happened because I finally got the help I needed.

Please ask as many questions as you want x

Would love to answer any more questions