I'm in a private mental health hospital AMA

[Gigi20]

Arrived here a week ago

[Gigi20]

Just thought I would give this a bump, incase anyone else had any questions x

[SpudsandGravy]

Hi @Gigi20 and thank you very much for your very detailed reply.

It sounds terrible. Thank goodness you'd not done irreparable damage and were able to survive it. Thank goodness also for that health insurance

[Gigi20]

@SpudsandGravy

I was never unconscious. When I took the tablets it was a really strange experience, the only way I can describe it was like an out of body experience.
It was like I was looking down on myself but I truly believed it was the best way out and that everyone would be better off without me.

I regretted it straight away and told my brother who was staying with me. I then made myself sick. He took me to A & E where I was really sick and had to drink charcoal.
I was aware that a paracetamol overdose can still kill you days after and my thoughts at the time were "what will be and god would decide if it was my time"

They then admitted me and monitored me overnight. I can honestly say that night was the worst night of my life. I was incredibly ashamed and didn't sleep at all.

They said that I would have to stay in until they found a bed for me at a psychiatric hospital. There was another lady there that had had a breakdown and she had been in A &E for 4 days waiting for a bed.

Luckily, my Insurance Company managed to find me a bed in a private hospital and I went straight there once my obs were ok.

I remember waking up the next day and feeling so relieved that I would finally be getting some help. But very mixed emotions too and very upset that I had put my family through all this.

[SpudsandGravy]

I'm very sorry to hear this, OP, and I hope you soon begin to feel a lot better

If you don't mind, can you describe how you felt when you woke up from your overdose and realised you were still here?

[Gigi20]

@StudentNurse3

Yes they were happy. Thankfully they have grown up in a generation where mental health is discussed quite openly.
Maybe, in time you oldest will understand a bit more.
Mine coped well but then they were a lot older and had supportive friends.

I am glad in a way this happened as I am a lot more understanding of mental health issues now. Would like to volunteer at some point helping other people.
And losing people that were fake friends is a good thing too! X

[StudentNurse3]

I experienced that too. Someone who I considered one of my best friends never visited me once.

My children were 5 and 10 when I had my breakdown. It was particularly hard for my older one and our relationship is still not as close as it used to be. I hope your children are ok and I expect they were very happy to get you home!

[Gigi20]

I really enjoyed DBT too, much more than CBT.
I also made some great friends there, but also realised how little I mattered to some of my friends.
I found that especially hard.

I too struggled when I came home, after 2 years that must have been especially hard.
My children are late teens.

[StudentNurse3]

That's good about your meds and still seeing your therapist and psychiatrist.

Cold food doesn't sound good! We had nice desserts too.

I started on an NHS acute ward for a little while and then moved to a long term unit which was in a private hospital but funded by the NHS. I completed DBT while I was there.

I missed my children the most too. Once I was at the long term unit my leave gradually extended from going home one weekend day a week, then the whole weekend, up until I went home Friday to Monday. How old are your children?

I feel much better now. My hospital admission definitely saved my life. I learned a lot and made some friends and got my medication to a good place. Despite it being hard being away I know I was very lucky to get the opportunity to complete DBT. It was very difficult when I came out to adjust to life at home and I still have my struggles but I'm getting there.

I would also like to lower my meds eventually as I think they do affect my memory and have also caused weight gain, but we'll see.

[Gigi20]

@StudentNurse3
sorry for the late reply.

Yes, I'm still taking medication and feel I'm on the correct dose now. I would like to lower that over time, but I'm not ready yet.

I learned a lot from most of the classes and do practise some of the techniques that they taught us. I'm also still seeing my therapist and psychiatrist.

The food wasn't great, it was normally always cold. They did have a salad bar though and the desserts were nice.
We also had normal cutlery and plates.

I missed my children the most, it was very hard.

Two years is a long time, were you in a NHS hospital? How are you feeling now?

[StudentNurse3]

It's great to hear back from you and that your short stay helped and that you are doing better.

Have you managed to get onto medication that helped or is it still being tweaked?

Sounds like you tried a lot of different therapies in the time you were there? What did you find helpful and have you continued with it?

A bit of a random one but what was the food like? On my psych ward the food was good (although got very bored of it after 2 years) but was spoiled by being served on toddler plates/bowls and cutlery (i.e plastic!)

What did you miss the most when in hospital?

[Gigi20]

Would love to answer any more questions

[Gigi20]

@TheChosenTwo
You can ask anything you want, can PM me if it helps!
I'm 52 :(

My anxiety started at a very young age 8/9ish.
I suffered horrendous bullying at secondary school and lost a close, young family member from a tragic accident.
Back then mental health really wasn't a "thing". I truly believe if I had received help my life would have been completely different.
I went through quite a lot of trauma through my life and made some very poor choices and made so many mistakes.

Thankfully, mental health is viewed completely different now, although as I said before I have lost a fair few friends who really don't understand.

Going through this has certainly been eye opening and in a way I'm glad it happened because I finally got the help I needed.

Please ask as many questions as you want x

[TheChosenTwo]

Thanks so much for taking time to compose such a well thought out response.
I’m at breaking point with worry and can’t see a way forward at the moment so it’s really encouraging to see that it’s possible for people to emerge from the darkness.
How old are you (if that’s not too rude to ask!) and how far back can you identify feeling unwell?

[Gigi20]

@TheChosenTwo
Not a stupid question at all! That's why I started this thread.
I'm sorry you are going through this, I know my own parents were terrified for me and I honestly thought I wouldn't get better. But I am so much better and it will for your child.

I had huge support from my parents and siblings and although they told me I would get better I didn't believe it. It's also important to let your child know that they can't help it and are ill . The guilt you feel for your family is immense and once you accept that you can't help feeling this way it helps your recovery.

The groups are a mixture of different therapies. You would always start with how you are feeling at that point. Some were talking groups and yes you would talk about your problems.
It does help because the other patients really do get it.
I remember people saying to me " to count my blessings" and " how can you be so depressed when you have so much going for you?" These comments really really do not help someone going through crisis.

The other groups are a mixture of different therapies, you would have CBT, DBT, Emotion Regulation, Developing Compassion, Mindfulness, Distress Tolerance and things like Art Therapy, Meditation and Exercise and Healthy Relationships.

You really get a taste of different therapies and which ones work for you.

To answer you other question it hasn't been great with my husband ( A whole other story) but I'm so much stronger now to deal with things.

Honestly, there is so much to say. I think the really important thing is to find a good therapist and psychiatrist.
I had seen a few different therapist before my admission and they definitely made me worse.

Please feel free to ask any questions you have, I was in such a dark dark place and I started this thread to try and help people going through the same x

[TheChosenTwo]

Thanks for sharing your story, I’m reading at the moment in a scared position (as
a parent) so it’s good hearing that you have been able to look forward and move your life on to more hopefully stable and secure ground.
You said before that you didn’t think your husband was going to be very supportive of you when you did get home, how did that work out?
Is group therapy everyone sitting around talking about their problems? Sorry if that’s a stupid question!

[Gigi20]

So, I ended up staying for 2 1/2 months. The insurance company were very good.

However, the first 3 weeks were not good. The psychiatrist I had was awful (that is a long story!). He refused to get me 1-1 counselling and just wanted to dose me up with meds.
This initially helped, as before I went in I couldn't sleep or eat and had lost a tremendous amount of weight.

It was a real fight but I managed to change psychiatrist and he immediately changed my meds and arranged 1-1 counselling.

At first I thought the group therapy was a waste of time but once I threw myself into it, I found it really did help.

I have lost a lot of "friends" on this journey but equally have made some really great friends from the hospital. I think the love and support from them has really got me through and one amazing friend on the "outside" who didn't give up on me.

Honestly, there is so much to tell! I'm happy to answer any questions. Overall, yes I'm so glad I went in and I'm so lucky that I had the insurance to cover the cost.

It did actually save my life

[Sammysees]

So glad you are feeling better @Gigi20. Do you think it worked for you? Or was it more the medication? Are you still getting support now you are home?

[Mintyt]

Hi so pleased your feeling better than you did, yes I would like an update, your posts seems lighter well done x

[Gigi20]

Sorry for the late reply!

It definitely helped, but was a rollercoaster ride for sure.
I am so much better then when I first went in, can update fully tomorrow if anyone is interested?

[Porcupineintherough]

Thanks for offering to update.

As above: how are you feeling now? Did the therapy help in the end or do you feel drug therapy was more useful?

[XenoBitch]

@Gigi20

Hey everyone, I thought I would come back to this thread if anyone wanted an update?

I ended up staying in the hospital for 2 1/2 months. Came home just before Christmas.
Happy to answer any questions anyone may have .

How are you doing now?
Do you think the time spent in hospital helped?

[Gigi20]

Hey everyone, I thought I would come back to this thread if anyone wanted an update?

I ended up staying in the hospital for 2 1/2 months. Came home just before Christmas.
Happy to answer any questions anyone may have .

[Sammysees]

That’s crap if you don’t have support. Going through all this stuff is horrific on your own. I can only go on personal experience as my MH was the pits (and still is) with everything going on with ds. I ended up paying for a private counsellor that I see every week. Just to have someone to let it all out to is really working for me. It’s not cheap but if you can afford it I would recommend it. Hope you’re ok x

[Gigi20]

@Sammysees

I hope you had a better day today Gigi. My ds has been in a private hospital coming up 3 years now. No questions because I am living through it but I wanted to wish you well. It will take time, lots of time, but I really hope you start to feel well enough to go home very soon. Baby steps. Best wishes.

Thank you
i know it will take time. I'm frightened of going home and not being able to feel better. I think they will all feel mum is back to normal. I know my husband isn't going to be the most supportive

[Sammysees]

I hope you had a better day today Gigi. My ds has been in a private hospital coming up 3 years now. No questions because I am living through it but I wanted to wish you well. It will take time, lots of time, but I really hope you start to feel well enough to go home very soon. Baby steps. Best wishes.