AMA: I am an atheist who regularly attends church

[IAmNotHoratio]

I was reading something in bed last night that made me realise I am probably quite an anomaly. I am an atheist (moved from being agnostic to truly feeling that it's all just a social construct) who attends church fairly regularly. I have no idea if this is interesting to people...but I thought I'd find out!

Stopping to pray every 5 minutes 😂YES. Can get tedious!

At age 8 DD asked to attend church. I’m an atheist and DH is Catholic but had bad experiences with the church and no longer attended. I honestly thought she would go and would stop quickly. She’s 13 now and has chosen to be baptised and has also been confirmed. She does not attend a faith school. We go regularly because I promised I would support my DC’s
religious choices. I get on well with the vicar as does DH, in fact DH has recently rediscovered religion and it has been an enormous help to him. So I go for support and I don’t hate it. It can at times be supportive.

How do you respond when DD asks you questions about God etc? How does she feel about you being an atheist?

No not riled! I just thought I'd let you know that you aren't alone.

Thats all 😊

I must have misunderstood your tone!

Yes - I had no idea to be honest. I always felt like such a fraud. It's truly so nice to hear that it's not that strange. I don't feel so weird anymore.

I’m like you @IAmNotHoratio I don’t go regularly but every couple of months I’ll go to Evensong at my local cathedral. I think it’s a moment for sitting still reflection and of course, belting out hymns! But seriously, the familiarity of the liturgy and the beautiful music is calming.

I also appreciate old English churches for the way they hold generations of human work and craft and thinking and being.

It was probably me, I was typing and walking at the same time and relying on predictive text to help. Sorry!

You're not a fraud. Many atheists can see the benefit of church in a community. Our church is the local food bank, the local baby and toddler group and does classes in mental health and yoga.

All run and funded by the church, but without the support - our very deprived town would be a much lonelier, sadder place.

The church also fund the schools library and some of the school trips to museums etc.

Our vicar is also a great friend to many atheists.

In fact, I've just applied for a job at the Diocese and they've reassured me that being an atheist is fine! 😊

You know this is something I have thought about doing too. I was brought up Catholic, but despise the catholic church for many reasons. I would say I was an atheist, but I also accept that the existence of God or an afterlife is unknowable knowledge. But I do miss the ritual of Mass, especially on the holidays. which is weird because I hated it as a child and found it tedious, but I think I could enjoy the quiet, peaceful, contemplative aspect now.

My sibling began to be interested in religion as a teen and moved out of our parents home into a shared house for people with a mental illness. The people that owned it were very religious ( I would say overly so. They were very evangelical and strict. They would say to the residents god will strike you down etc If you don't comply) my sibling went to church every Sunday for a long time. They moved out of this house and back in with my parents and went to the local church and was baptised. My sibling has schizophrenia and when having a psychotic episode or even just declining in mental health I will get phone calls and questions like will god be angry for this or will god strike me down . Overall my siblings Christian faith has been very positive and beneficial.

Blimey
what kind of church is this?
I used to go, as an atheist, for the community aspect. Not heard anything offensive. It fell apart after lockdown sadly.

Luft “I also appreciate old English churches for the way they hold generations of human work and craft and thinking and being.”

this too.

My atheist sister goes to her husband's church and their kids go to the attached school. She appreciates the community and while the school is not the sole reason, it is better than the local alternatives. She's honest with the kids about her beliefs and encourages them to be open minded about what is taught.

No one at the church seems to mind or has ever tried to 'convert' her.

It's unfortunately a sort of 'hard-line' church. Orthodox/far right type of thing. Which makes it extra hard. It's very loving, but it's not a CofE type of church that accepts homosexuality etc. So that's why I have a few issues with it. I feel complicit when I do not defend the people it judges. Which then makes me feel very bad.

I think there are definitely psychological benefits to the familiarity and routine of it.

My previous church minister was a lesbian feminist, who had several atheists and a Buddhist among her congregation! She welcomed them all - with a namaste, in the case of the Buddhist!
Should add, she was a brilliant theologian and a grade 8 musician, so her services had intelligent, erudite sermons and a fab choice of music. I miss her greatly.

I used to go to church when I lived in San Francisco. I really liked the gospel choir in the church and it was a very love one another type place.
There was a lot about God but he seemed to be a God who thought people should look after the poor etc so even though I don’t believe I didn’t feel too hypocritical.

That sounds fantastic! More of these people are needed. Though she sounds like one in a million.

It’s not just a question of parents having different views though. The church literally teaches untruths and your kids will quickly realise that.

Personally I find it impossible to lend my support to the church because it is homophobic, sexist and is anti-reason.

Is it weird that I want to be friends with her? 🤣

I couldn't do that, but then I'd not go to church for someone else either.

me going began because of volunteering at the food bank, which was separate to the church, but the vicar used to bring us stuff.

then when my father was terminally ill, I talked to the vicar as you can only talk to a stranger, and he was brilliantly helpful. He's a great believer that church is about community rather than theological detail.

I don’t believe in God, but since I was brought up CofE I do get a sense of peace and strength when sat in a church.

weird but true. It’s not an unpleasant experience. I also love a good Christingle.

Haven't had a chance to rtft but surely this is common?

I'm an atheist and my dh is a believer so I go along every so often to appease him and the children. They're in a faith school and often question why I don't attend church.

I hate to break it to you op but you’re not special. I think most people who attend church regularly don’t believe a word of it. It’s cultural and social. Very few church goers really believe or have true faith.

The vicar at my church thinks the majority are non believers, in my age group. He said this to me when I was in my 30s.

I'd the Sunday school connected to the church and if so, how can you be okay with your children learning this stuff?

Dors your husband expect you to come to church? What would he say if you refused?