Threads

See more results

Topics

Usernames

Mumsnet Logo
Please
or
to access all these features

I'm asexual
36

Amarayt · 06/07/2022 22:17

Ask me anything

OP's posts:
Please
or
to access all these features

Amarayt · 06/07/2022 23:44

Bump

OP's posts:
Please
or
to access all these features

DuesToTheDirt · 06/07/2022 23:49

Are you happy?

Do you get lonely?

What would improve your life?

Please
or
to access all these features

sessell · 07/07/2022 00:09

Have you always been asexual?

Please
or
to access all these features

Amarayt · 07/07/2022 00:11

DuesToTheDirt · 06/07/2022 23:49

Are you happy?

Do you get lonely?

What would improve your life?

I am happy, but I think my relationship would have maybe been easier if I was sexual. Plus apparently sex can be super fun

I'm married. I'm in love with my husband, I just don't have any desire for sex or sexual touch. I dont get aroused or turned on, and even if I find him very handsome, I dont know what being sexually attracted means or entails

OP's posts:
Please
or
to access all these features

Amarayt · 07/07/2022 00:12

sessell · 07/07/2022 00:09

Have you always been asexual?

I guess so. I never truly accepted it until well into adulthood though, not before I got married actually

OP's posts:
Please
or
to access all these features

SnowdropsInSpring · 07/07/2022 00:12

Why do you think people care? (Genuine question worded badly). I mean why do you/ others need to tell people? Why not just get on with your life? It’s all within 'normal'.

Please
or
to access all these features

biggreenhouse · 07/07/2022 00:12

have you also fully explored other sexualities to know you definitely aren't attracted to anyone else?

Please
or
to access all these features

Amarayt · 07/07/2022 00:14

SnowdropsInSpring · 07/07/2022 00:12

Why do you think people care? (Genuine question worded badly). I mean why do you/ others need to tell people? Why not just get on with your life? It’s all within 'normal'.

Its something that always baffled people when they found out for some reason, especially since I'm married and have a kid.
Just thought I'd explain it more in details for people who are curious

OP's posts:
Please
or
to access all these features

SnowdropsInSpring · 07/07/2022 00:16

Amarayt · 07/07/2022 00:14

Its something that always baffled people when they found out for some reason, especially since I'm married and have a kid.
Just thought I'd explain it more in details for people who are curious

Thank you for answering. I think it’s rude that other people have been baffled~ they should keep it to themselves. You shouldn’t have to behave in any way just to suit other people.

Please
or
to access all these features

LucyLocketLostThePlot · 07/07/2022 00:16

Have you ever tried reading erotic fiction?

Please
or
to access all these features

Amarayt · 07/07/2022 00:16

biggreenhouse · 07/07/2022 00:12

have you also fully explored other sexualities to know you definitely aren't attracted to anyone else?

Yes! I thought I might be a lesbian, but figured I wasn't attracted to women either. I also had to rule out hormonal problems etc...
It wasn't until someone explained to me what sexual attraction meant that I started realising I could be asexual. Never felt it or understood it

OP's posts:
Please
or
to access all these features

Amarayt · 07/07/2022 00:20

SnowdropsInSpring · 07/07/2022 00:16

Thank you for answering. I think it’s rude that other people have been baffled~ they should keep it to themselves. You shouldn’t have to behave in any way just to suit other people.

Thank you.
Got sexually assaulted by an ex and another one of my partners became a sex offender. My lack of sex drive was blamed and I was repeatedly told to go to the doctor to " fix myself "

OP's posts:
Please
or
to access all these features

Karmapolice89 · 07/07/2022 00:21

I'm not surprised you were put off sex by such severe sexual trauma. I don't think that's the same as being truly asexual. Subconsciously you view it as unsafe.

Please
or
to access all these features

Amarayt · 07/07/2022 00:23

LucyLocketLostThePlot · 07/07/2022 00:16

Have you ever tried reading erotic fiction?

Yep, it never did anything to me.
Funnily enough, I found out about sex when I was very young and I remember being so curious about it that I hid and read erotic fictions at a very young age. I don't know what pushed me to

OP's posts:
Please
or
to access all these features

Amarayt · 07/07/2022 00:25

Karmapolice89 · 07/07/2022 00:21

I'm not surprised you were put off sex by such severe sexual trauma. I don't think that's the same as being truly asexual. Subconsciously you view it as unsafe.

But I felt the same I feel now before these incidents happened.
I just blamed them on me being unable to satisfy my partners

OP's posts:
Please
or
to access all these features

Gingerkittykat · 07/07/2022 00:26

Do you have regular sex with your husband to keep him happy or are you both happy with a sexless relationship?

Please
or
to access all these features

Amarayt · 07/07/2022 00:30

Gingerkittykat · 07/07/2022 00:26

Do you have regular sex with your husband to keep him happy or are you both happy with a sexless relationship?

I used to have sex with him regularly to keep him happy. Secretly, I hated it because it was painful as my vagina just closed up.
It got to the point where I couldn't do it anymore and we stopped having penetrative sex anymore.
Had to go to a sexual health clinic to get over my vaginismus.

OP's posts:
Please
or
to access all these features

mumda · 07/07/2022 00:38

Have you ever had antidepressants?

Please
or
to access all these features

Amarayt · 07/07/2022 00:41

mumda · 07/07/2022 00:38

Have you ever had antidepressants?

No, never taken them

OP's posts:
Please
or
to access all these features

prinnycessa · 07/07/2022 00:42

So does your husband still want to have sex? Would you be upset if he wanted sex outside the marriage?

Please
or
to access all these features

Amarayt · 07/07/2022 00:46

prinnycessa · 07/07/2022 00:42

So does your husband still want to have sex? Would you be upset if he wanted sex outside the marriage?

He wanted to stay with me and still be exclusive without sex, worst case scenario.
But I've been able to have painless sex again after getting help so our sex life isn't as impacted anymore.

OP's posts:
Please
or
to access all these features

stealtheatingtunnocks · 07/07/2022 00:54

So, you have no desire but have sex that you don’t want to keep your husband happy? And he’s, well, content (?) with knowing he’s having sec with a woman who doesn’t want it?

please tell me I’m misunderstanding

Please
or
to access all these features

Violet790 · 07/07/2022 00:56

Wow really interesting! I'm kinda jealous in a way, sexual frustration can be a pain sometimes and drives people to make bad decisions- like sleeping with their boss. I didn't thank god but very nearly🤦‍♀️ I have slept with some idiots though. I can imagine life being easier for you in a way.
Does your husband not get sexually frustrated?

Please
or
to access all these features

Devils1vy · 07/07/2022 03:16

Do you consider yourself part of the + in LGBTQ+?

Please
or
to access all these features

strawberrylacey · 08/07/2022 18:16

Most women are what the lgbtqs call asexual or demisexual, because we aren't these horny promiscuous sex cravers men think we are.

Why do you want to label yourself?

Please
or
to access all these features
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Sign up to continue reading

Mumsnet's better when you're logged in. You can customise your experience and access way more features like messaging, watch and hide threads, voting and much more.

Already signed up?