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AMA

I’m a muslim woman AMA

49 replies

Nc4post99 · 15/02/2022 20:55

Seen threads like this before, think they’re quite good at giving people a chance to ask questions that maybe they’re too afraid to ask IRL.

So, I’m a muslim woman AMA, I’ll try my best to respond to the best of my ability and be as honest as I can be without outing myself :)

OP posts:

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sidesplittinglol · 15/02/2022 22:37

Hi thanks for starting this thread!

Would you say you have a strong faith and abide by everything the Quran tells you to?

Nc4post99 · 15/02/2022 22:58

@sidesplittinglol

Hi thanks for starting this thread!

Would you say you have a strong faith and abide by everything the Quran tells you to?

I’d say I’m like every other person on faith, go through highs and lows.

Truthfully probably not, I do try though. But I do think you’re never quite done, you can always strive to be a better Muslim and a better person :)

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shakeitoffshakeacocktail · 15/02/2022 23:01

How easy is it to be a Muslim and a feminist and how do you feel about segregation at worship and women being second class citizens in some Muslim countries?

I understand all religions are flawed and to be interpreted. I have no religion. I would find it hard to trust the people heading the faith when such practices of oppression occur

Nc4post99 · 15/02/2022 23:08

@shakeitoffshakeacocktail

How easy is it to be a Muslim and a feminist and how do you feel about segregation at worship and women being second class citizens in some Muslim countries?

I understand all religions are flawed and to be interpreted. I have no religion. I would find it hard to trust the people heading the faith when such practices of oppression occur

There are some quite prominent Muslim feminists like Amina wudud but they do receive a considerable backlash from conservatives, always the way when you challenge the status quo.

I would say it’s a different experience being a Muslim woman in a progressive marriage/ family than being a Muslim woman in a developing country.

Unlike Christianity, Islam doesn’t have a central authority but it is hard to trust a lot of men in positions of authority when they are blatant misogynists and there’s been quite a few high profile instances of Muslim leaders abusing their positions of power

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Thoosa · 15/02/2022 23:11

“Muslim woman” is a very broad spectrum of people. Are you devout to a particular strand of Islam?

Nc4post99 · 15/02/2022 23:16

@Thoosa

“Muslim woman” is a very broad spectrum of people. Are you devout to a particular strand of Islam?

I’d say I’m a Sunni, don’t believe you need to follow a specific madhab (school of jurisprudence). I don’t belong to a specific sect. It’s been years since I attended a mosque but when I did it was a salafi one but in no way would I identify as a salafi

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MerryPoppings · 15/02/2022 23:19

What do you think about the fact that women are encouraged to cover up and hide their hair or face in case a man looks at them lustfully? Do you think this is a way of oppressing women?

AllKnowingGerbil · 15/02/2022 23:21

My question is very specific! If I gave you a lottery scratchcard as part of a work thank you gift, would it cause offence?

Nc4post99 · 15/02/2022 23:22

@MerryPoppings

What do you think about the fact that women are encouraged to cover up and hide their hair or face in case a man looks at them lustfully? Do you think this is a way of oppressing women?

Yes in short, to make women responsible for mens actions/ thoughts/ desires is oppressive to women.

Dressing modestly not oppressive, for some it means they cover their face, others their hair, others they wear more loose fitting clothes. I don’t think that’s oppressive, men are told to do the same but yet that’s not enforced or discussed with as much rigour

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PopsicleHustler · 15/02/2022 23:22

Are you a born muslim or a revert?

If you reverted, what made you come to Islam...

Do you speak arabic ?

Nc4post99 · 15/02/2022 23:24

@AllKnowingGerbil

My question is very specific! If I gave you a lottery scratchcard as part of a work thank you gift, would it cause offence?

Oooh me personally no.

But it might depend on the person, might come across as a bit thoughtless if the recipient is v devout.

I’m thinking of buying some tickets, heard there are some discounted days out on them :)

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PopsicleHustler · 15/02/2022 23:24

Are you sunni?

Thoosa · 15/02/2022 23:24

Ha. You’re a religious gadabout like me (not Muslim). When you don’t fully subscribe to any one version of the theology/scholarship, it is tricky. The same with women’s rights meeting any religion.

TBF, I saw a thread asking if it’s “okay to give chocolates to a Muslim woman” the other day, so I’m sure you’ll get lots of incredibly broad cultural questions too.

strawberrymilkshake123 · 15/02/2022 23:27

Do you pray 5 x a day ?

Do you wear a hijab ?

Do you eat halal ?

Do you believe pop music is halal or haram ?

Would you allow your daughter, ( if you have one), to dress in a westernised fashion, ( e.g miniskirts, fishnets etc), if she wanted to ?

Nc4post99 · 15/02/2022 23:29

@PopsicleHustler

Are you a born muslim or a revert?

If you reverted, what made you come to Islam...

Do you speak arabic ?

Revert

Going to sound like a weirdo but from a young age i always felt drinking, gambling etc were wrong, felt I should dress modestly (much to the disdain of my mother) thought nothing of this until later in life after I converted. After some personal tragedy, I found some comfort in the idea of faith, the after life and being reunited with loved ones. On the back of that I looked into my own faith more (Christianity) and found it just didn’t sit right with me, and from there I looked into other faiths and found Islam felt right in my heart.

So I can read it very woodenly I’d say. I used to attend hifdh classes and I was better then, now due to the pandemic I’ve forgotten lots. Ashamed to say.

Yes I’m sunni :)

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Nc4post99 · 15/02/2022 23:37

@strawberrymilkshake123

Do you pray 5 x a day ?

Do you wear a hijab ?

Do you eat halal ?

Do you believe pop music is halal or haram ?

Would you allow your daughter, ( if you have one), to dress in a westernised fashion, ( e.g miniskirts, fishnets etc), if she wanted to ?

Try my best to yes, although I do slip up here and there and go through peaks and troughs when I’m not in a good place.

Yes, but half time. I don’t wear it at work because the sheer volume of questions i find inappropriate.

Yes, we eat halal

Oooh tough one. Think it’s individual, I do like music and I think it’s a spectrum ie if a certain kind of music motivates you to do something haram and also the context. Adele I’d say cool, but maybe songs about sleeping around not so much?

I do have a daughter and yes westernised clothes are fine it’s what I wear. Miniskirts passed a certain age I’m not sure, fishnets I find quite tacky but I’m not sure I’d prevent her but i don’t think I’d be too happy about it BUT in context there are worse things that she could do I suppose

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FangsForTheMemory · 21/02/2022 01:41

Have always wondered this: can Muslims eat shellfish? I know fish with fins is halal, but what about the rest?

Nc4post99 · 21/02/2022 07:29

@FangsForTheMemory

Have always wondered this: can Muslims eat shellfish? I know fish with fins is halal, but what about the rest?

Good question

According to hanbali, maliki and shafi thought, yes because there is a verse that states all that from the sea is permissible.

Hanafi thinks prawns and lobster aren’t permissible but I’ve yet to meet anyone that abstains

Not sure about shia

Hope that helps :)

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chattycaterpillar · 21/02/2022 16:25

Would you like your daughter to have an arranged marriage ? My friend is Bangladeshi Muslim and is allowed to choose/reject her suitor, but when getting to know him has to be accompanied by a chaperone until marriage ? Would you want your children to have chaperones until marriage ?

Would you be okay if they wanted to live with / have sex with a partner before marriage ?

Do you believe it is a "sin" to draw living things, e.g. portraits/ animals etc ?

Nc4post99 · 21/02/2022 17:22

@chattycaterpillar

Would you like your daughter to have an arranged marriage ? My friend is Bangladeshi Muslim and is allowed to choose/reject her suitor, but when getting to know him has to be accompanied by a chaperone until marriage ? Would you want your children to have chaperones until marriage ?

Would you be okay if they wanted to live with / have sex with a partner before marriage ?

Do you believe it is a "sin" to draw living things, e.g. portraits/ animals etc ?

No, tbh I wouldn’t even be able to arrange one, I think that community network is dying out. Chaperone wise that would be the ‘correct’ Islamic thing to do but in practicality outside of a strict arranged marriage I can’t really see it happening.

Hmm I’m not sure, i wouldn’t be happy if they were sleeping around that’s for sure. I don’t like the emphasis put on virginity especially on girls.

No I don’t think it’s a sin to draw animate objects :)

OP posts:

chattycaterpillar · 21/02/2022 17:38

Thanks @Nc4post99. It's interesting you say the "community network," for marriage is dying out. Would that be country / culture specific ? I have a lot of Bangladeshi friends who seem to exchange "marriage CV's" on a regular basis, would you say that is less common with Muslim's linked to other countries ? So more of a "Bangladeshi," thing than Islamic ?

Do you find when you go for meals out you normally have to use the vegertarian menu as most restaurants don't serve halal ?

Nc4post99 · 21/02/2022 18:51

@chattycaterpillar

Thanks *@Nc4post99*. It's interesting you say the "community network," for marriage is dying out. Would that be country / culture specific ? I have a lot of Bangladeshi friends who seem to exchange "marriage CV's" on a regular basis, would you say that is less common with Muslim's linked to other countries ? So more of a "Bangladeshi," thing than Islamic ?

Do you find when you go for meals out you normally have to use the vegertarian menu as most restaurants don't serve halal ?

I’m not sure tbh, I can only base it on my ILs who are very backbone traditional, the past few years all the wedding we’ve been invited too from close and extended family have been love marriages or at the very most introductions or so and so saw xyz at a wedding, talked to her for a bit and then asked her dad would she be interested in getting to know each other for marriage.

I find a lot of restaurants serve halal, especially chain restaurants have at least halal chicken. If that’s not the case we tend to go for fish or veggie , whatever looks nice! :)

OP posts:

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prisscalledwanda · 21/02/2022 23:05

I have a couple of questions about hijabs if that's ok although you've said you don't always wear one so might not be so relevant

If you've been wearing one all day out and about does it feel nice to take it off at home? I always imagine it's like taking off work shoes/ taking your hair out of a bun and shaking it out/ taking your bra off and that lovely freeing feeling. Is it???

Do people who cover their heads keep their curtains closed at home if they want to move around without wearing it so people outside can't see? Or is that an unnecessary step? I have often wondered!

Great thread, thank you

BathshebaKnickerStickers · 22/02/2022 21:06

I was brought up as an Evangelical Christian and did a huge amount of “teens for Jesus” style things. I was very involved in the Christian Union as an undergraduate but I always felt massively inferior to the “proper Christians” who did everything right, prayed about everything first, always looked to God for guidance because I thought about what I wanted before I thought about “God’s plan for me”.

Gradually over time I’ve drifted in and out of the Christian church because i’m comfortable there when I need support but the scaffolding of the “all consuming belief” isn’t there. Doubts became overwhelming and it’s just not me any more.

Do you ever have doubts over your faith? Do you ever wonder about whether your faith is as steadfast as others around you? Is there any place at all in the mosque for doubt?

Tequilabeliever · 22/02/2022 21:13

@prisscalledwanda

I have a couple of questions about hijabs if that's ok although you've said you don't always wear one so might not be so relevant

If you've been wearing one all day out and about does it feel nice to take it off at home? I always imagine it's like taking off work shoes/ taking your hair out of a bun and shaking it out/ taking your bra off and that lovely freeing feeling. Is it???

Do people who cover their heads keep their curtains closed at home if they want to move around without wearing it so people outside can't see? Or is that an unnecessary step? I have often wondered!

Great thread, thank you

I’ve wondered this too.

Thanks for being so open @Nc4post99.

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