I’m a muslim woman AMA

[Nc4post99]

Seen threads like this before, think they’re quite good at giving people a chance to ask questions that maybe they’re too afraid to ask IRL.

So, I’m a muslim woman AMA, I’ll try my best to respond to the best of my ability and be as honest as I can be without outing myself :)

My question comes from a place of genuine unintended ignorance: is there a religious difference between ladies who wear burkas, hijabs and the hair coverings (apologies, I don’t know the name) but show their faces?

@prisscalledwanda

I have a couple of questions about hijabs if that's ok although you've said you don't always wear one so might not be so relevant

If you've been wearing one all day out and about does it feel nice to take it off at home? I always imagine it's like taking off work shoes/ taking your hair out of a bun and shaking it out/ taking your bra off and that lovely freeing feeling. Is it???

Do people who cover their heads keep their curtains closed at home if they want to move around without wearing it so people outside can't see? Or is that an unnecessary step? I have often wondered!

Great thread, thank you

You know what, it is pretty much like that take your bra off, ahhhhhhh feeling, not so much if you’ve just draped a scarf over your head (no shade) but more so if you’ve tied your hair up and put an under cap on, your head can get quite itchy.

You know there are probably some people who do, or women who make sure they aren’t seen. I’ve not once ever thought of that though lol

@BathshebaKnickerStickers

I was brought up as an Evangelical Christian and did a huge amount of “teens for Jesus” style things. I was very involved in the Christian Union as an undergraduate but I always felt massively inferior to the “proper Christians” who did everything right, prayed about everything first, always looked to God for guidance because I thought about what I wanted before I thought about “God’s plan for me”.

Gradually over time I’ve drifted in and out of the Christian church because i’m comfortable there when I need support but the scaffolding of the “all consuming belief” isn’t there. Doubts became overwhelming and it’s just not me any more.

Do you ever have doubts over your faith? Do you ever wonder about whether your faith is as steadfast as others around you? Is there any place at all in the mosque for doubt?

I do have doubts sometimes, not over my faith as such although I guess it is, but over the big ‘does god exist question, especially in relation to the problem of evil. But how I think is that if there is a god (I believe there is) then Islam is the right religion.

I know there are more people more steadfast in their faith than me, you know the ones who life has dealt a terrible hand and they are still praising god and finding blessings in the smallest of things, I have admiration for those people im not sure if I’d be the same.

There is a mentality of don’t ask questions that’s creeping in more and more which I don’t like but there is an acceptance that your imaan (faith ) will go through peaks and troughs

How does being a Muslim feel more right for you than being a Christian?

If there is only one God - are there different acceptable paths to him?

@Gruffalogrinch

My question comes from a place of genuine unintended ignorance: is there a religious difference between ladies who wear burkas, hijabs and the hair coverings (apologies, I don’t know the name) but show their faces?

Do you mean in terms of piety? If so tricky to say because it’s so individual.

So the burqa (typically blue head to toe headpiece with mesh over the eyes) is much more cultural from Afghanistan and certain areas of Pakistan:

Religious opinion is divided on whether women ‘should’ cover their face, some say it’s recommended others obligatory and yet there are countries where it’s very common so it’s more of a cultural thing (like Saudi)

Personally I don’t think you can tell anything about anyone by how ‘religious’ they look

@Mamajunebugjones

How does being a Muslim feel more right for you than being a Christian?

If there is only one God - are there different acceptable paths to him?

The concept of god in Islam is more simple. One god. That’s it. So it’s a lot more straightforward I find than the trinity.

Mainstream Islam would say no, there’s a verse that says ‘whoever choses another religion other than Islam it will not be accepted of him’. But then there are another 2 verses that talk of paradise being granted to good Christians and Jews

If/ when your daughter goes to university, would you be happy for her to share student accommodation with boys, or would you want her in a girls only flat ?

Do you believe the qu'ran is the literal word of God ?

Also, have you made pilgrimage to Mecca yet, and if you have, what is it like ? Iss it a very "spiritual," experience ? ( Apologies , I can't think of a better word).

As a revert, do you miss alcohol ?

@chattycaterpillar

If/ when your daughter goes to university, would you be happy for her to share student accommodation with boys, or would you want her in a girls only flat ?

Do you believe the qu'ran is the literal word of God ?

I haven’t given the first much thought tbh she’s only a toddler, but given the cost of uni I think I’d prefer my kids to stay home but if they wanted to move away, I think I’d have preferred an all girls flat when I was at Uni, they seemed to get on better, i was in mixed and hated it.

Yes i believe the Quran Is the literal word of god, but that doesn’t God doesn’t use allegory

@chattycaterpillar

Also, have you made pilgrimage to Mecca yet, and if you have, what is it like ? Iss it a very "spiritual," experience ? ( Apologies , I can't think of a better word).

As a revert, do you miss alcohol ?

Nope I’ve not made Hajj or umrah. I don’t think I’m there spiritually.

I don’t especially miss alcohol no

DO you think that Islam (or religion in general) is better than being a good person but in a non religious way? I have become agnostic/atheist as I've grown older and find it hard to understand anyone with faith that seems to go against science.

@Purpleavocado

DO you think that Islam (or religion in general) is better than being a good person but in a non religious way? I have become agnostic/atheist as I've grown older and find it hard to understand anyone with faith that seems to go against science.

I don’t think religion has to go against science firstly but that’s a whole other conversation.

I read an article once that was a philosophical debate/ idea that only atheists go to heaven as they are the ones that do good without the promise of reward. I found that interesting! Better? I’ve met atheists that are nicer than some people of faith, I guess it’s all relative

Also, I understand Islam has some respect for the other abrahamic faith's, (nagain, apologies if worded wrong).

What is the feeling about whether people from non Abrahamic faith backgrounds, e.g Sikh's / Hindu's/ Buddhists/ Pagans / Zoroastrians etc can enter paradise ?

@chattycaterpillar

Also, I understand Islam has some respect for the other abrahamic faith's, (nagain, apologies if worded wrong).

What is the feeling about whether people from non Abrahamic faith backgrounds, e.g Sikh's / Hindu's/ Buddhists/ Pagans / Zoroastrians etc can enter paradise ?

That’s correct Jews and Christian’s are people of the book. Its permissible for Muslim men to marry a jew or Christian woman and their meat is permissible.

Entering heaven, whilst there are a few ayat referring to ahl kitab ( people of the book) entering heaving there are none referring to polytheistic religions entering heaven.

Why do you think believing in fairies or the Easter bunny is outlandish but believing in a god you've never seen is acceptable? To the extent that you cover your hair. Genuine question - why do you allow your power to be taken by a belief in something which probably doesn't exist?

@Oimyerda

Why do you think believing in fairies or the Easter bunny is outlandish but believing in a god you've never seen is acceptable? To the extent that you cover your hair. Genuine question - why do you allow your power to be taken by a belief in something which probably doesn't exist?

So I think it’s interesting that you are placing power in a woman’s hair. Why do you assume that a person who covers their hair is powerless. Do you assume the same for Sikh men?

I’m not sure about the the Easter bunny but some people believe in fairies, it’s whatever corresponds to your own personal truth

I, too am a revert. And just want to say sister from your answer, about drawing animate objects, it is seen as shirk, unless it is done for educational reasons then fine. We can draw a body to teach the kids about the body/health /body parts for example. But other than that. No. Just like hanging pictures on the wall, it is seen as shirk :)

I also would recommend sister not going by schools of thought and just simply to go by the Quran and the Sunnah. As each school of thought changes their things as they go along and that's not Islam. Islam is meant to be easy, so I would say just go by the Quran and the Sunnah. Otherwise you're going to be going by 40 different ways of interpreting something that we can find is straight forward in the Quran or in the hadiths :)

My question is, how did you find Islam. What made you have that defining moment, where you said, wow I have to be a Muslim :) Asalam alaikum my sister

Oh yes, also how long have you been a muslim and do you do things like daily adhkar, learn Arabic alphabet and read Surah Al kahf on Fridays :)

I love the atheists do not need reward to be good saying. My understanding is that all religions are designed to be a guideline in setting out the good behaviours from the bad and Quran or bible or any religious texts would have been perfectly good for the time it was written. But when people, centuries later, still take the words at face value, I find it irrational and unrelatable.
The masking of a woman’s sexual beauty is one of those that irks me. Back when the religious text (comprehensive guide on how to be a good person, as I see it) was written, it would have made perfect sense for women to adhere to social rules and hide their sexuality. For their own personal safety as well as for the family’s honour. Mini skirt would be frowned upon during Victorian times but women back then couldn’t even inherit their father’s estate without a husband. It was essential to adhere to the strict rules.

But now, in the 21st century, legal system and the state have made men’s unwanted advances illegal and minor ones at least highly undesirable. Women could use their beauty to their advantage openly for the first time in history. Physical beauty is now an physical asset similar to height, or ability to run very fast. Why are women still being denied to apply a perfectly good genetic trait to their advantage? Hair, figure hugging clothes, heels etc are all well protected by the law in the sense that these are no longer legitimate reasons for women to be executed against.

Also, just want to point out, I love the sentiment behind Ramadan. So that one is expected not only sympathise but empathise with the poor and less fortunate and help whenever they could through brief reminder of true hunger and thirst during Ramadan.

These AMAs always go the same way. A Muslim woman answers questions and a less moderate woman turns up calling her sister and correcting her.

My understanding is that all religions are designed to be a guideline in setting out the good behaviours from the bad

There may have been an element of this but I think more likely they were written to keep the powerless, powerless and the powerful, powerful.

@MakeMineAdoubleChocolate

I, too am a revert. And just want to say sister from your answer, about drawing animate objects, it is seen as shirk, unless it is done for educational reasons then fine. We can draw a body to teach the kids about the body/health /body parts for example. But other than that. No. Just like hanging pictures on the wall, it is seen as shirk :)

I also would recommend sister not going by schools of thought and just simply to go by the Quran and the Sunnah. As each school of thought changes their things as they go along and that's not Islam. Islam is meant to be easy, so I would say just go by the Quran and the Sunnah. Otherwise you're going to be going by 40 different ways of interpreting something that we can find is straight forward in the Quran or in the hadiths :)

My question is, how did you find Islam. What made you have that defining moment, where you said, wow I have to be a Muslim :) Asalam alaikum my sister

Oh yes, also how long have you been a muslim and do you do things like daily adhkar, learn Arabic alphabet and read Surah Al kahf on Fridays :)

I’m actually not going to reply to your questions because you’ve really irritated me.

It’s seen as shirk to draw pictures? Drawing pictures is akin to idol worship? This right here is why people think Muslims are ridiculous. You’re also wrong, even the most conservative scholars don’t think so, please see the fatwa below to educate yourself

islamqa.info/amp/en/answers/26841

Additionally with your views, I hope you don’t ever take photos or watch the TV.

I also said in my reply that I don’t follow a particular madhab, please read it again. Also who are you to try and educate me when you are wrong. Contemporary scholars when revisiting the justifications for things often refer back to the 4 different schools of thought to give a majority consensus so you are lost. Islam has a rich intellectual tradition who are you to erase it.

@Febrier

These AMAs always go the same way. A Muslim woman answers questions and a less moderate woman turns up calling her sister and correcting her.

Believe me it’s like this in real life too, it’s really f’ing annoying and as you’d expect the ones with the biggest mouths tend be the ones that are either ultra conservative and live for telling women (it seems exclusively women… imagine that) what they are doing wrong or like the PP someone who is actually incorrect and talking out of their butt

Well, I don't think I've seen anyone respond as robustly as you! I look forward to her reply.

Roastedsaltedpeanut, just a side note on what you said here, "....Victorian times but women back then couldn’t even inherit their father’s estate without a husband. It was essential to adhere to the strict rules." Unless you are referring only to cases of landed estates, aristocracy and royalty where rules of inheritance by the first born son may have applied, this is not true. Women in the UK could and did inherit from family, friends, businessess etc as stipulated in the relevant wills. Have you never read a Victorian novel with a plot centred on a rich heiress as a flippant example? Sorry but I do think the general knowledge that women did not have the vote in the UK until the 20 th Century leads many people to the assumption that they were totally devoid of legal rights, protection and freedom which is not true. Life was more complicated then than a simplistic overview may assume just as it is now and as the OP is showing life as a Muslim woman in the present time and place is also complex.