Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AMA
Original poster

I've just been diagnosed as bipolar AMA

30 replies

DonnieDark · 16/12/2021 15:01

I'm 41 and have spent 3 months in a psychiatric hospital since July.

I have an 8yo DC and a full time job. Plus I also have autism and ADHD.

Feel free to ask me anything whatsoever, I really don't mind how personal it is!

OP posts:
SoSickOfItNow · 16/12/2021 18:25

What suddenly happened, behaviour wise, for them to make this recent diagnosis?

Why has it taken so long to be diagnosed?

I hope you are getting good treatment/medication and are feeling things are improving now Flowers thank you in advance for sharing the details.

Original poster
DonnieDark · 16/12/2021 19:32

@SoSickOfItNow weirdly nothing! They didn't even tell me - I found out from the discharge summary after my last month in a psych ward. Whilst I was there I wrote an entire album of music in a week so maybe that had something to do with it 🤔

I've been misdiagnosed a few times and wasn't diagnosed with ASC/ADHD until recently either.

I'm on the right meds now and they've made such a difference!

OP posts:
Cakeelf · 16/12/2021 19:34

How have your loved ones reacted to the diagnosis? Did it surprise them?

Ahblahblablah · 16/12/2021 19:38

Why did you end up in hospital?

Original poster
DonnieDark · 16/12/2021 21:00

@Cakeelf my DF made it all very 'ph life is so unfair', someone else wasn't surprised and my closest person also has bipolar so he actually thought it was quite funny...

OP posts:
Original poster
DonnieDark · 16/12/2021 21:01

@Ahblahblablah this last time it was because I self harmed very badly and my consultant wanted me to go in. I'd only been out 6 weeks from the first stint

OP posts:
SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 17/12/2021 10:46

What does my ph life mean Donnie?

Cakeelf · 17/12/2021 17:55

What is a typical day like for you now you’re diagnosed vs when you were not?

And how does the bipolar affect how you behave - do certain things make your mood suddenly change?

Original poster
DonnieDark · 17/12/2021 18:08

Sorry that should be 'oh'…!

OP posts:
Original poster
DonnieDark · 17/12/2021 18:14

Right now life is pretty unrecognisable - being on mood stabilizers has helped level me out, whereas before I was generally at a very low mood with occasional periods of mania.

I can be triggered by stressful events, and my behaviour in the lows can include self harm and addiction, feeling suicidal etc and don't wash or look after myself for days at a time.

In the highs I get very productive and have a lot of great ideas but forget to do the basics of self care and keep appointments, because I'm so engrossed in whatever idea I've had.

It's complicated further by the other conditions so even when I'm level I still have odd behaviours.

OP posts:
NotJustACigar · 17/12/2021 18:17

How have you been in terms of keeping jobs? What were effective ways your loved ones could help and support you, particularly pre-diagnosis? Would talking to you during your up and down phases help bring you out of them at all, for example?

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 17/12/2021 18:19

What medication are you taking?

Iamanicepersonreally · 17/12/2021 18:19

Can I ask what medication you're taking please.

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 17/12/2021 18:19

What is worse - tbe ‘highs’ (mania) or the ‘lows’ (depression)?

Cakeelf · 17/12/2021 18:23

What are your hopes for the future now you’ve been diagnosed and are more stable? Is there anything you want to achieve or feel more capable of doing than previously?

Original poster
DonnieDark · 17/12/2021 19:29

@NotJustACigar I used to be terrible but my current job I've been at 10 years. I don't enjoy it but they're supportive and I work from home with a lot of flexibility to help me manage. I've been off for 6 months and back next month.

I didn't really have any support from loved one to be honest, exH refused to acknowledge it and since we split 4 years ago I've been on my own. That was what led me to be hospitalised I think.

When I'm high there's no talking me out of anything, and when I'm low I can't see anything positive, but having someone check in on me does help. I tend to become very withdrawn and isolate myself though so it's hard for people to know I'm struggling.

OP posts:
Original poster
DonnieDark · 17/12/2021 19:30

@MyrtlethePurpleTurtle and @Iamanicepersonreally

Here's my list:

Lamotrigine
Venlafaxine
Quetiapine
Trazadone
Promethazine
Concerta

OP posts:
NotJustACigar · 17/12/2021 21:38

Thank you @DonnieDark. I asked because my sister is bipolar but not officially diagnosed. She struggles to hold down jobs and has been sacred from so many. She's working now but previously our father has supported her for a period of several years and she has also lived with me for a year rent free. I don't know whether we should support her when she loses jobs or whether we should let her suffer the consequences e.g. homelessness so she will do something to help herself, maybe??? Our father can't really afford to support her and has spent his life savings on her already.
I also don't know how to persuade her to get an official diagnosis. And I don't know how to support her when she's high or low. It's all so difficult! You sound like you're doing great - congratulations because I can only imagine how difficult it must have been for you to get to that point!

NotJustACigar · 17/12/2021 21:38

Sacred = sacked, of course.

Cakeelf · 17/12/2021 22:37

How have you coped with being a mum with all your ups and downs and you mentioned self-harming too?

mrsrat · 17/12/2021 22:43

I'm 58 Amd just been diagnosed as ADHD and BPD

Original poster
DonnieDark · 17/12/2021 22:44

That's tricky - is she completely against getting any help? I had to go private in the end because NHS services basically refused to see me.

The thing is that tough love doesn't work unless someone is stable, in the mania people are totally unable to be rational really. Arguing with them has a very negative effect so all you can so is damage limitation.

I really hope you can maybe convince her when she's a bit more level!

OP posts:
Original poster
DonnieDark · 17/12/2021 22:46

Motherhood has been extremely tough for me. I had a huge relapse after i had DS, and this most recent one was worse because he was aware that something was going on. Luckily his dad was able to take over and he doesn't seem too affected but it's very difficult when you don't have control of yourself. I'm constantly worried about him and have often thought he's better off without me 😔

OP posts:
Cakeelf · 17/12/2021 23:24

Aww I’m sure that’s not true! Maybe the diagnosis will help you from now :)

NotJustACigar · 17/12/2021 23:25

Thank you @DonnieDark, your insights are so helpful. My sister has said thousands of times over the years that she will get help but never does. I think she just says what she thinks we want to hear to be honest. Our father is willing to pay for her to have a private diagnosis. Do you think a private diagnosis would help her in future if she becomes unable to work and needs benefits? She has been pressed antidepressants in the past but had a bad reaction so is against taking any medication.

Good to know arguing doesn't help. In the past I have tried telling her I didn't believe what she was saying and her reaction was pretty bad. I don't know whether in other cases dishonesty is an issue with bipolar but with my sister it definitely is, usually to get out of doing something she doesn't want or feel able to do. And our father and I tend to just go along with it. I don't think there's anything else we can do.

Your DS is definitely not better off without you, I cam absolutely assure you. You're an inspiration as someone who has been strong enough to get the help you need and I for one admire you for it a great deal.