I'm an autistic adult, AMA!

[witchesgoose]

Thought this could be a useful thread - I was diagnosed in my late twenties so neurotypical/allistic (non autistic) people can ask about what it's really like, and if I can help one person with an autistic kid/teenager/young adult I'll be happy :)

There's lots of misinformation out there written by neurotypical people on the subject, so thought it would be helpful to hear it from the horses mouth so to speak :)

Thanks OP, it’s a learning curve when you have a child waiting for their diagnosis.

What are your 30 hours care to help with?

What's an aac user and what are comma cards used for?

@Dahliadelight

Thanks OP, it’s a learning curve when you have a child waiting for their diagnosis.

What are your 30 hours care to help with?

Cleaning Tidying Helping me in total overwhelm Reminding me not to flood my bath Cooking Food prep General life admin Travelling to places Helping me with personal care when staying overnight Peopling for me Organising/planning work stuff I also don't control the majority of my finances , I have a named person to act in best interests.

@naughtyfurballs

What's an aac user and what are comma cards used for?

Thanks, that's interesting about meltdown hangovers! Sounds like a horrendous experience.

Are there any clues from the perspective of an onlooker that it's an autistic meltdown rather than just a stress response? Or is it just the intensity/total inability to calm down.

@naughtyfurballs

What's an aac user and what are comma cards used for?

Comms cards: https://stickmancommunications.co.uk/products/?ixwpst[productcat][]=834&title=1&excerpt=1&content=1&categories=1&attributes=1&tags=1&sku=1&ixwpsf[taxonomy][producttcat][show]=set&ixwpsf[taxonomy][productcat][multiple]=0&ixwpsf[taxonomy][producttcat][filter]=1&ixwpsf[taxonomy][paborder-style][show]=set&ixwpsf[taxonomy][paaborder-style][multiple]=0&ixwpsf[taxonomy][paborder-style][filter]=1&ixwpsf[taxonomy][paacolour][show]=set&ixwpsf[taxonomy][pacolour][multiple]=0&ixwpsf[taxonomy][paacolour][filter]=1&ixwpsf[taxonomy][pafixing][show]=set&ixwpsf[taxonomy][paafixing][multiple]=0&ixwpsf[taxonomy][pa_fixing][filter]=1

Bloody hell don't know what happened there 🤣🤣🤣

Comms cards: stickmancommunications.co.uk

@MyButteredBread

My 18yo dd was diagnosed privately at age 15, and has really struggled since leaving school. She hasn't been able to settle into anything since. (Worldwide pandemic and lockdown didn't help!)

My instinct is to let her take some time out and find her feet, but I worry about how she will support herself as she gets older, especially as all education programmes and support js geared for this age group. I'm not sure how her future will pan out, but right now she struggles to even leave her room for any length of time. I'm seeking out counselling for her, but if you have any words of wisdom I'd be happy to hear it.

Think of her as 2/3 chronological age... emotionally (rough ball park figure)

She is likely a late developer...not unusual for autistic people.

Try to find a career that has opportunity to balance life and potential for part time as ability to mask can decrease with age. Better slow steady than high flying followed by crash and burn

@StandsForComfort

Thanks, that's interesting about meltdown hangovers! Sounds like a horrendous experience.

Are there any clues from the perspective of an onlooker that it's an autistic meltdown rather than just a stress response? Or is it just the intensity/total inability to calm down.

A meltdown is horrendous. Generally to an NT person it will look like we have completely lost control, and we might stim more intensely, some people tend to repeat themselves and not make sense, it's not something you can change course - the best thing is to remove triggers and be a sympathetic non demanding presence. Talk with your autistic person about what they need from you if possible - I need silence but I also feel safer with someone with me. Remove triggers and demands.

Thanks for responding @witchesgoose. Much appreciated.

@dizzydizzydizzy

Thanks for responding *@witchesgoose*. Much appreciated.

My pleasure :D

Thanks for the links to aac and commas

@naughtyfurballs

Thanks for the links to aac and commas

Thank you for listening :) autocorrect commas - meant comms cards 🤣

Thank you for listening autocorrect commas - meant comms cards

That does make more sense, and I did wonder, but I'm sure you've had plenty of people assume you must be wrong before....

How did you go about getting a carer? I know someone who could do with someone to sort stuff like laundry, tidying, life admin.

@SwanShaped

How did you go about getting a carer? I know someone who could do with someone to sort stuff like laundry, tidying, life admin.

You will need a social services needs assessment :)

Thanks for taking time to learn and ask :)

Please can I ask about your friendships when you were a child? Did you have many close friends? Did you have regular fall outs, misunderstandings, or were you treated badly by people you thought were friends?

Sorry if that all sounds negative, if you had good friendship experiences that's great and I'd love to hear! But if you didn't, how has this effected you and do you know how the adults in your life tried to help/can you think of ways you would have liked them to help?

Thanks OP, glad to hear things are going well for you

Taking a break now, will catch up in morning, but do feel free to ask away 😁