I've just come out of private rehab - AMA

[DonnieDark]

Sobriety is pretty boring right now so if anyone's interested in the inner workings of a very expensive private rehab, ask away!

@Classica

The very best of luck to you, OP. Sounds like you've been through the wringer. So often addiction seems to be self-medication as a result of past trauma or undiagnosed depression.

Assuming he's a child, how did you explain your absence to your son?

Also, do you need to cut contact with your old social circle in order to avoid slipping back?

I told my son mummy wasn't well and they were going to make me better - then when I came out we talked more about it and I explained that alcohol (didn't go into drugs) was poison and I'd had too much of it. He missed me a lot but I got to see him halfway through the second month and that gave me a huge boost.

He reminded me of a time I forgot to collect him from school and used to fall asleep on the sofa but laughed about it thankfully. I was very careful to minimise the impact on him but of course it will have affected him to some degree.

I was more a lone drinker in the last decade and my social circle is tiny these days - DP is bipolar (not my son's dad and my son hasn't met him) and he drinks and uses but is very careful around me. I also take naltrexone so if I were to relapse on booze or opiates it wouldn't get me high.

@jelly79

Well done to you!! You should be so proud of yourself OP!

Can I ask, did you lose any friends along the way? Was there anything anyone could of done to help you sooner?

I only really lost friends through isolating myself, although in the past when I had a rock bottom I had to stop seeing a whole group of people who were toxic for me. Unfortunately that didn't solve the problem for long.

If my GP had taken my sudden weight loss and vomiting seriously a year ago I may have avoided liver failure, I was seriously let down by them and the local crisis services who knew I was complex and suicidal and constantly gaslit me and didn't keep promises to make referrals or even let me know what was going on. I'm just grateful I could go private.

Bump

@DonnieDark I did, but it was tough for a while. So worth it now. Where are you getting your ongoing support?

You say ur DP uses and drinks, are you tempted to join in? Does being with people with this lifestyle affect you, might it cause a relapse? Is it dangerous to be around an addict when you’re recovering

I too was wondering how you manage if your DP uses drugs and alcohol. Has he not been inspired or persuaded to quit too?

Yeah! How does it change the dynamic of your relationship if you’re not on the same level? What do you do for dates now if you can’t go to the pub etc? Is he supportive of you being sober if he is not?

[quote AnnieSnap]@DonnieDark I did, but it was tough for a while. So worth it now. Where are you getting your ongoing support?[/quote]
I have aftercare weekly through the hospital and 1:1 therapy with the therapist from there, plus I go to meetings every day if I can

@ApolloandDaphne

I too was wondering how you manage if your DP uses drugs and alcohol. Has he not been inspired or persuaded to quit too?

It's difficult but more because I worry for his health - I haven't been tempted thankfully. They do advise not being around it but when it's someone who is part of your family it isn't always possible. If I ever feel tempted I'll go home and avoid the situation.

Good luck to you!

@Crispanddips

Yeah! How does it change the dynamic of your relationship if you’re not on the same level? What do you do for dates now if you can’t go to the pub etc? Is he supportive of you being sober if he is not?

He's very proud and supportive of me and we do go to the pub and out for dinner etc, I find it easy to almost feel drunk when I'm around people drinking!

The naltrexone really helps me not to crave.

It's almost impossible to avoid triggers because alcohol is everywhere so unless I just stay at home all the time it's going to be there.

@3luckystars

Good luck to you!

Thank you ☺️

Are you better ?

@gunnersgold

Are you better ?

I am - almost at 90 days now 👍

I didn't know what replies to expect so I'm so thankful for all the support!

It’s great you’re getting better :)

But is your work supportive? How will you return will it be to your old job? Are you not worried they will find a reason to terminate your contract after being off for addiction treatment? I don’t think my work would let me back ☹️

@Crispanddips

It’s great you’re getting better :)

But is your work supportive? How will you return will it be to your old job? Are you not worried they will find a reason to terminate your contract after being off for addiction treatment? I don’t think my work would let me back ☹️

My employer is really good, my job is still waiting for me. As long as people engage with treatment they support you. I realise I'm very lucky to have that.

@AnnieSnap did you go to Al Anon?

[quote DonnieDark]@AnnieSnap did you go to Al Anon?[/quote]
I did for a while and hearing the stories of others struggling with the same helped, but I stopped going after a while and had some one to one counselling with the same service that provided my OHs rehab. I am so glad for you that you have got to wear you are. You have great inner strength ❤️

If my GP had taken my sudden weight loss and vomiting seriously a year ago I may have avoided liver failure, I was seriously let down by them and the local crisis services who knew I was complex and suicidal and constantly gaslit me and didn't keep promises to make referrals or even let me know what was going on. I'm just grateful I could go private

I'm really sorry you went through this and a massive congratulations for getting through rehab. I just wanted to gently add that my NHS experience of rehab was miraculous. They were absolutely wonderful and sorted me right out. Not trying to take away from your experience in the least, just wanted to let anyone reading know there is good help available on the NHS too.

I don’t have a question but just wanted to say Congratulations on getting clean and sober and best of luck with the rest of your journey.

Op nothing to ask just wanted to also say well fucking done to you x

@HangingOver that's reassuring, I hope my experience isn't common, I was told I was too complex for the first service I was sent to, then told that crying in front of a child was abuse, and that children whose parents commit suicide were fucked up for life when I was on the edge. It was shocking really. They said I couldn't have any therapy because I'm autistic so it was social care or nothing 🤷

@IM0GEN and @AmsterDAMN thank you!

@KingsleyShacklebolt

Have you read "Rachel's Holiday" by Marian Keyes? It's all about a young woman who goes into rehab thinking it's sort of like a spa break, and discovering it's really not.

Excellent book though.

I was thinking of that book too!