I'm an ex drug addict

[liani]

I've been clean for almost 3 years and I'm mother to a two year old. Used to live for the next party, broke into houses, was hospitalised, suicide attempts. It was all very chaotic.

Always told that I have "good stories" and need something to pass the time.

Ask away!

My uncle was an alcoholic. He died a few years ago at 57 after many years of ill health. He ruined his life and took huge amounts emotionally from his children, ex wife and partner as well as my grandparents and mum. My grandma's health took a massive decline after he died and she's never been the same. This is really harsh but I have zero time for former addicts who want congratulations for not spoiling their life and that of others.
When thats just a basic of human decency and something most of us do day in day out without praise. It's like what do you want a medal for getting up and dealing with life without a substance?

I have encountered lots of alcohol and drug users through some community work I used to do. The most honest thing one of them said was that addiction and recovery are incredibly selfish. He was being honest with himself. Very few people are that honest about it.
Also I've seen plenty people do 3 years or more and relapse. So maybe congratulate yourself in 20 years time.

NeonIcedcoffee

I'm sorry about your uncle and what he put you and your family through.

Not harsh, just rude. I haven't asked for any praise or congratulations. I have just invited people to ask questions and I have enjoyed answering them. I haven't said anything about how well I think I have or haven't done.

It is basic human decency. I fully accept that my addiction was completely my fault, and I direct result of my own actions and decisions. I was a shitty person in many ways. I still feel like one sometimes. I feel guilty. I don't think I have done anything amazing, and have never claimed to.

I always congratulate former addicts and I do believe they are very strong. I believe they deserve praise. I understand that you disagree.

It is incredibly selfish, as I have already said.

I'm very much aware that people relapse after 20+ years, but that isn't going to be me. 3 years is a huge thing for me and I will congratulate myself for it.

@NeonIcedcoffee

My uncle was an alcoholic. He died a few years ago at 57 after many years of ill health. He ruined his life and took huge amounts emotionally from his children, ex wife and partner as well as my grandparents and mum. My grandma's health took a massive decline after he died and she's never been the same. This is really harsh but I have zero time for former addicts who want congratulations for not spoiling their life and that of others. When thats just a basic of human decency and something most of us do day in day out without praise. It's like what do you want a medal for getting up and dealing with life without a substance?

I have encountered lots of alcohol and drug users through some community work I used to do. The most honest thing one of them said was that addiction and recovery are incredibly selfish. He was being honest with himself. Very few people are that honest about it.
Also I've seen plenty people do 3 years or more and relapse. So maybe congratulate yourself in 20 years time.

Most pointless post on the thread award...

@TimeToCloseTheDoor How's it pointless? Have you seen an addict ruin their own life and others?

@liani tbh I don't care if its rude. You know you're going to get congratulations for yiur years off drugs. So don't pretend that wasn't part of posting. You are self congratulatory of the 3 years. Yes that's a big deal for you but honestly the reta of us are just doing our shit day in day out without being addicted.

I realise I shouldn't have posted as I've actually seen first hand what addiction does to people and no one wants the reality of that they just want to cheer on the reformed addict. So sorry if my posts are upsetting I realise I should have left it.

Do you trust your friends? Has your relationship with them changed? Are there some whom you avoid or whom you feel are ‘dangerous’ to know? Do they see your son?

@Bluntness100 if he reached out... would you respond?

NeonIcedcoffee

That wasn't the point of my post? Clearly? Yes I am self congratulatory and I am proud of myself. I don't expect anybody else to feel the same.

Isn't that the same as anything? Lots of things are big deals to us personally, whilst minor to others. That's life.

@neonicedcoffee what a horrible post. Why shouldn't she be congratulated for getting things back on track, it takes a lot of strength to turn your life around. You're projecting your own shit experience on to someone else and telling them that 3 years isn't really anything to celebrate. Shame on you.

OP, well done for being drug free for 3 years, that's awesome. How long were you doing drugs for before you noticed it had turned into an addiction? And how long were you doing drugs in total before you stopped?

You say you used to be an addict, do you not class yourself as an addict anymore?

Do you trust your friends?

Some of them, the same as I do and don't trust some of my non-drug taking friends. Friends is a loose term with some of them.

Has your relationship with them changed?

Yes it has, with all of them. Especially my closest friends. We actually have normal friendships and interactions now, instead of egging each other on to do stupid things.

Are there some whom you avoid or whom you feel are ‘dangerous’ to know?

Drug dealers, yes, a lot. I don't associate with the dangerous ones anymore unless we cross paths then I am polite.

There are a couple of "friends" that I avoid as they are still in that same lifestyle and I find it difficult to be around it. It's triggering and draining. Not to mention it makes me feel sad for them.

There are also one or two who will offer new drugs and tell me that "one line can't hurt". I avoid them like the plague.

Do they see your son?

I'm not close friends with any addicts anymore, I'll sometime see them in group settings. They have never met my son.

None of my close friends are addicts, some take drugs recreationally now. Perhaps with a drink on a Friday night, they do see my son. Obviously not when under the influence of anything.

How long were you doing drugs for before you noticed it had turned into an addiction? And how long were you doing drugs in total before you stopped?

I can't remember, I was doing drugs recreationally for about a year or so before it turned into an addiction and then I was addicted for 1.5 ish years.

You say you used to be an addict, do you not class yourself as an addict anymore?

I know that they always say: once an addict, always an addict. I guess I still am but I don't think of myself that way. Drugs don't control my life anymore and I don't feel fearful that I'll relapse.

Thank you for posting and congratulations on your achievement. When I think how hard it is to adopt new or change existing habits, I think your achievement of sobriety without outside help is amazing.

Could I ask, please, what withdrawal/going sober was like for you?

Also, I know of many people who say that they have addictive personalities and therefore have to avoid many different things, even if they've not had a problem with them in the past. Is this true of you? For example, do you also avoid alcohol now in case you develop an unhealthy relationship with it?

Well done OP 👍

3 questions:

1.Do you attend Nar-anon or anything? Sorry, maybe this has been asked.

2.Have your family members joined you in your recovery?

I admire your great strength, for it takes ALL of it to recover then continue to occasionally mix with users (in a group setting) and still be able to say no to the offer of a line. Well done! Seriously.

But this leads me to question 3: Why mix with users at all, even in a casual social setting?

Could I ask, please, what withdrawal/going sober was like for you?

Physically and emotionally painful. I was very suicidal and felt extremely lonely/isolated. The first two weeks were the absolute hardest, especially physically. The physical symptoms stopped around that mark.

I went cold turkey so I think that made it harder. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. All your classic symptoms, cold sweats, chest pain, vomiting, dizziness etc.