How come you have time to do an AmA thread ?

I know a family that I think could do with some help.

In the face if it, they don't seem to, but when you get to know then a bit better, well, things aren't good.

She has a professional job, but it involves Iver night stays at least once a week sometimes twice. The dad is an alcoholic, opens a can the minute he wakes up. The house is dreadful. No floor space, nothing is clean, laundry in piles in every room, dirty tissues, nail clippings, prescription medication strewn about. The bath is cracked so they have showers (fine, but for the fact the 5yo child reuses to have a shower). You cannot see the beds.

I don't think it's safe for the child to be left with the dad while the mum works away (and she often works away over the weekend, she can choose, but chooses not to work during school days). I don't think I can describe how bad it is.

I'm on the brink of reporting the family, but wondered what could happen? I haven't reported yet because the child is loved and fed (even if it's a lot of takeaways) and the mum seems decent, I don't think he's abused, or hurt, just maybe grubby and living in chaos.

Is there a discrepancy between how child protection issues are handled In different areas?

As a teacher I have witnessed far too many children left in families where significant signs of abuse are noticed and recorded by ourselves, which match the concerns of neighbours etc. The same small children have made disclosures which have resulted in hospital visits etc. and yet the child is still with the family.
Then you hear too many children are being removed. How bad does it need to get before a child is taken into care?

Why do you inform police of an urgent child protection issue at five to five on a Friday afternoon when you are about to sod off for the weekend when you’ve known about an issue for days?

If a mother has children removed into long term foster and/or to live with their father then she goes on to have another child, what (if any) enquiries are (or should be) completed to establish the ongoing nature of the mothers relationship with the children as part of the assessment about whether or not she should be allowed to leep the new baby?

*keep the new baby, stupid phone

How messy And chaotic does my house have to be before social services take my children away? *asking for a friend.

What do you suggest people do when dealing with neglect that constantly stays JUST under the threshold for intervention and parents refuse to engage in any form? No chance of tac etc

I was referred to social services while I was pregnant because of prior mental health issues (unplanned pregnancy) and we were put on a child in need plan to check in on how I coped after the birth. It never really amounted to much- they checked in on us once after the birth, forgot about us for a few months then discharged us- but I wonder if there’s a “record” of her having been on a child in need plan that school will be able to see when she’s older or anything like that? And will I have to go through it all over again if I have another child? I found the whole thing really stressful on top of what was already a stressful pregnancy and I’d love to just be able to chill out and enjoy it next time.

Is it true that emotionally and psychological children are better of staying with their birth parents even if they are neglected and/or abused by them?

Is there any way to have a historical case changed to reflect that a lot of the stuff that was reported wasn't true? Is it fair that they can be taken as gospel in the first place?
Do you think its important that childrens names are correctly recorded in the casework?

When chilldren are classed as vulnerable and you can plainly see its down to crap parenting why do you leave kids there? I am sick of seeing children who have little chance in life being labeled as vulnerable and the parents just carry on with not a thought to the kids and agreeing to follow plans yet doing the exact opposite,Why is this?

I mean sorry OP why are the kids allowed to stay and made to live in chaotic households ? It just seems so unfair on the children

When a foster carer has bonded with a baby and has shown an interest in adopting, why do you look elsewhere for potential parents?

My son was adopted by us (his foster carers from birth) after other prospective adopters said no. We’d already asked and went through months of uncertainty about where he’d end up. He is now 20 and is the most fabulous young man. He was spared being uprooted by luck, not by design.

@Sallycinammonbangsthedruminthe

Your questions seems linked to mine, in that what I’ve witnessed is when kids are taken away from their Birth families, regardless how chaotic they are, the kids seem to then start behaving worse in school and get into major trouble outside of school, whereas at home with birth parents they Seemed ok.

If a child is reported to the school for a safeguarding issue, how likely is it that the person who reported will remain anonymous?

Are six worker seeing a lot more reports from LA's regarding children being home educated and if so, how so SW feel about this? Do they consider it malicious?

It just seems we give parents so many chances sometimes too many,and it seems the children continually have to suffer and be labelled.You can observe these children lurching from episodes to episodes with police visits for fighting, or dad shoplifting and getting arrested ...it becomes the norm to these children and its so wrong ..it breaks my heart

Who would get to decide that someone's parenting was 'crap' though? I mean I'm a crap mum at times, but doesn't mean my dc should be taken away. I think a lot of my brothers parenting is crap, and my sisters as well (I guess we have different parenting styles and think different things are important). But how crap do you need to be, and who decides that? Its a bit like that phrase 'failure to thrive' which never really meant anything in particular.

Social not six. Bloody phone

I understand what your saying and I can be accused of looking at things from an angle of up my own arseness! But when I see these children who from such a young age say 6/7 yrs who know the foulest of language,who know to hide from debt collectors who know they have a different uncle/new dad every month,who know daddy is tagged ...I just I dont know....I guess maybe I dont live in the real world, I feel for these children..its no way to live and they shouldnt have to know these things.

Thanks for answering @Dipsandcrisps. I'll make a call.

Is there a discrepancy between how child protection issues are handled In different areas?

As a teacher I have witnessed far too many children left in families where significant signs of abuse are noticed and recorded by ourselves, which match the concerns of neighbours etc. The same small children have made disclosures which have resulted in hospital visits etc. and yet the child is still with the family.
Then you hear too many children are being removed. How bad does it need to get before a child is taken into care?

As a teacher I’d like to know this too. Also, are records passed on if families move area? 🤔

Oops, I was trying to copy and paste someone else’s message from above that I’d like the answer too please!