I’m an introvert who “became” an extrovert

[BooFuckingHoo2]

I was very shy and introverted until I “trained” myself out of it.

This is not a thread saying extroverts are “better” but just sharing my experience.

AMA

how did you go it? Introvert wishing i was an extrovert

*do it?

I sort of did the same, except I hate it. Already finding it stressful that lockdown is easing and I'm having to start seeing people again.

Do you actually enjoy it or is going against the grain of your natural personality?

Why did you train yourself out of it? Were you unhappy? Has it made you happy?

Are you actually an introvert who became an extravert, or are you somebody who was shy and awkward who trained yourself to become more sociable? Because I'm not sure that you can train yourself to go from getting energy from spending time alone to finding it draining, or why you would particularly want to do that?

Why did you want to. Genuine question. I’m finding peace with being an introvert having tried to force being more extrovert and being stressed all the time. My reason was to please DH who found my lack of needing to be social weird.

In what way were you an introvert?

How did you go from finding social interactions tiring and draining to seeking out random social experiences and finding them recharging/energising?

Watching with curiosity and also wondering how you went from being mentally drained by social interaction to being positively charged by it. How old are you op?

@VirginiaWolverine

Are you actually an introvert who became an extravert, or are you somebody who was shy and awkward who trained yourself to become more sociable? Because I'm not sure that you can train yourself to go from getting energy from spending time alone to finding it draining, or why you would particularly want to do that?

I’m with you, Virginia

I’m also an introvert turned into a massive extrovert... baby steps really, you just fake it until you make it. Before I hated talking to clients on the phone or jumping at them to try to sell them our services, now it is second nature.

... but I still want people to give me some space from time to time and hugely resent my boss saying “I should make an effort” to attend work dos 🤮

I was mid 30s before I realised I'm an introvert who has bee masquerading as an extrovert. When I tried to tell people, they didn't believe me, because I leaned years ago how to behave as a normal person , or even an extrovert.

I also realised I panic slightly if someone I don't know speaks to me, for example if I'm on the park and someone says "lovely weather!" I panic and talk a lot random which makes me seem really friendly. Except I'm not and y her rate increases and I hating her very moment Eve though I'm smiling. So if you can tell me how to me genuinely comfortable with social interactions, rather than just going through the options that would be great.
I've bloody loved lock down.

Another introvert here wondering why you wanted to change this aspect of yourself and how you changed what energises/drains you?

... but I still want people to give me some space from time to time and hugely resent my boss saying “I should make an effort” to attend work dos

So not a massive extrovert then.

I think often people confuse introversion and extroversion with being shy/confident in social situations.

They aren't the same thing.

I think shyness is being mistaken for being introvert here.
It's not about being afraid to talk to people.
I was shy when younger which has eased as I've got older but I am still an introvert and always will be. Not sure I could ever feel the need to have people around me at all times. That's not something you can learn.
I will always need time alone to recharge.

No.. deep down I will always be an introvert but I am now more comfortable with talking non stop to people (part of my job), being the soul of the party (at work), working with groups of people, etc. Everybody laughs when I say I am an introvert but I can certainly be an extrovert when needed without feeling I am not myself.

I've always felt introversion is extroversion is more about what you 'need'. So I am happy in the company of people and come accross a bit if s social butterfly but i recharge in my own space and need more of it than most.

I also 'trained' myself to be extroverted. I used to be painfully shy and saw a programme about age 17 about how you need to act confident to become it. So I stopped walking everywhere with my head down and made a point if talking to everyone when opportunity arose. Now I'm chatty and the life of any party but that still doesnt make me an extrovert because when push comes to shove, I prefer chilling out on my own the majority of the time. I wouldn't even say I'm an ambivert. I'm just an introvert who can adapt.

Sorry, typos.

Basically I think you can fake it till you make it with regards to confidence. But I think if you are naturally an introvert, you can't really change that. And why should you have to anyway :)

I'm an introvert with good social skills.

I've learnt that being introverted isn't bad. I'm saying no because that's what I want to say even if it isn't what I aught to say.

Depends if you view introverted as a negative trait, a positive trait or a neutral one.

What was the impetus to make you change?

Good question!

Maybe you’re right I was a shy extrovert, but even now I enjoy the down time after the social interaction and reading quietly by myself so I’m not sure.

I have ASD so maybe this is a major factor but I do feel much better being perceived as an extrovert. I feel that my quirky behaviour can now be written off as being confident and the life and soul of the party whereas before I felt just plain weird.

How did I do it? It was literally a case of fake it until I make it.

I started a new job where nobody knew me from Adam and decided I was going to be a “big personality” and so I did it, even though at times it made me massively uncomfortable. 4 years later and it’s basically ingrained in my personality.

What made me change?

I felt lonely, like I had no friends and that people thought I was weird. I was never invited anywhere unless it was mandatory that I would be. I hated it. So I decided I wanted to be something different.

To clarify I don’t think being an introvert is a bad thing at all! Maybe I could have phrased it better as being a social introvert/extrovert.

I am late 20s. If I had a husband/family I would probably be a lot more introverted I think.

OP, I feel like maybe you are masking you’re introversion by masquerading as an extrovert but this may just be a front. Or you could be an introverted extrovert.

Either way, have you taken the Myers Briggs personality test? This would help give you insight into your self. I found it fascinating and scarily accurate!