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Original poster

What would you do? Neigbours yelling at baby

43 replies

vodkaicepops · 22/04/2020 16:30

My neigbours yell at their baby every day. She's just over 1 by the looks of it.

When I say yell I mean like an angry person would yell at a dog that's shat all over their new cream carpets for the 9th time. It's aggressive. Both mum and dad/mums bf do the yelling.

Sometimes they repeeeatedly yell, then she eventually cries then they do this display of ott "OMG YOU OK SWEETIE!!"

They live the house next door. I've kept a record and been in contact witj the council about it who informed me they've been made aware and are investigating it. Apparently someone else has called in and I'm assuming it's the neigbours on the other side.

Social services went round - the guy from the council told me - and apparently unless they accept help there's nothing that can be done atm.

I can't hear any physical abuse but I just want to take that poor kid and from it's "parents" and give it a day of not being yelled at/told she's stupid/told she's a bully/not taken out all day. :(

What would you do? Have I don't enough connecting Council twice and recording the shouting to send to them? I feel like I should be doing more but social services and police have been over so....? Sad

OP posts:
DonLewis · 22/04/2020 16:32

Gosh, normally everyone would say report it. But you have. Poor baby. Sad

I don't know what else you can do, except maybe report again.

Soontobe60 · 22/04/2020 16:34

Phone social services directly.

Dragonsanddinosaurs · 22/04/2020 16:34

I don't think there is much more you can do, apart from carry on monitoring the situation, and report again if things get worse. Unfortunately the threshold for significant social services input is very high, so if it is "just" shouting then it is unlikely that much will happen, horrible though that is.

Ohnoherewego62 · 22/04/2020 16:35

What sort of things are they yelling? Are you concerned for the childs safety?

pallasathena · 22/04/2020 16:35

Call the police. Tell them a small child is being systemically abused and you fear for the child's wellbeing. The police will inform SS but not before they do a proper welfare visit themselves.
You need to contact the police OP.
Do it now.

SuperFurryDoggy · 22/04/2020 16:37

That’s so sad. I don’t know where you stand legally on making a sound recording, but that might be an option? “Shouting” can cover a range of interactions from a raised voice to really nasty threatening behaviour. A recording, if permissible, might help?

Did you call social services directly or go via the police? Maybe report to the police if you haven’t?

Finally, how well do you know them? Would a note through the door offering whatever limited help you are able to give be well received?

Sorry, I can’t think of anything else to suggest.

icelollycraving · 22/04/2020 16:38

Police. 100%. That poor baby.
I’m shocked the council told you that level of detail tbh.

Wolfgirrl · 22/04/2020 16:38

How awful. Can you record it at all? Maybe for a few days then send it to the council? Well done for being concerned for the baby and not just turning a blind eye. Poor little thing Sad

SRK16 · 22/04/2020 16:40

Keep a log of any incidentskeep reporting as much as you can. Social care can’t ignore multiple, repeated, reports.

TopBitchoftheWitches · 22/04/2020 16:40

Phone the police when they next shout at the child, explain how young the baby is. They will attend.

GrumpyHoonMain · 22/04/2020 16:42

The police will be able to get involved here and ensure it gets investigated properly. If you can video / record the abuse too so they can’t weasle out of it.

Ezira · 22/04/2020 16:56

Why are they yelling? I yell at my toddler literally every ten minutes in the garden, along the lines of “don’t throw stones!”, “get that out of your mouth!”, “don’t put soil down your neck!”, “that’s naughty/dirty/dangerous”, etc. And if he approaches the top of the lawn I shout like mad and he sobs, which tbh is better than falling 4ft off the edge of the lawn onto concrete.

Original poster
vodkaicepops · 22/04/2020 17:07

I used an app I was told to download to record the noise which sends the noise files directly to the council.

I was then told to ring the police if there is sustained shouting - I have rang and they have visited at least twice.

The guy from the council didn't directly explicitly tell me other people had contacted/SS were involved but I asked lots of questions like "I wonder if I'm the only one to ring about this" and he would kind of mumble semi stressed "no no you're not" etc but yes he did tell me SS had been over and they declined to help so I have to now just call the police if there is ongoing shouting.

The problem is, they shout at her every day. Now sometimes it's the kind of shouting that any parent might do if stressed out and at the end of their tether. Other times it's jist every other 10 minutes SHUT UP! STOP THAT! STOP BEING ANNOYING! NAUGHTY! GET HERE NOW! STOP NOW! YOU'RE HORRIBLE! YOU'RE A BULLY.

Its daily (every day) snapping at her and I kid you not I wake up EVERY morning to the dad shouting aggressively SHUT UP! GOD, FUCKING SHUT UP. All because the little lass is sweetly babbling in her room... he's obviously sleeping or something and can't cope with her babbling.

I don't think there's any physical violence, if I ever thought there was I would instantly call 999.

I've even emailed the police too.. probably about 5x. So all the right people are definitely aware of the goings on its just obviously distressing.

I think when she's old enough to go to nursery it'll be a massive relief for her.

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Original poster
vodkaicepops · 22/04/2020 17:08

When I said "they declined help" I meant the parents declined help not that SS declined to help.

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Hollyhobbi · 22/04/2020 17:15

The poor wee baby. How is a one year naughty? And they are calling a baby horrible and a bully? God wouldn't you love to scream and roar at them, see how they like it.

Samtsirch · 22/04/2020 17:16

I think you have to keep on phoning the police and social services, and ask for the name of the person taking your call every time you speak to someone.
Are you able to approach the neighbours on the other side to see how they feel about the situation?
If the other neighbours continue to report as well it may have more impact.
Also I don’t know if it would help to put your concerns in writing/ email too.
Please don’t give up.

Bagelsandbrie · 22/04/2020 17:18

May not be a popular opinion on here but I would ring 999 when it’s going on and say you’re worried a child is being seriously hurt. You don’t actually know what’s going on and that level of abuse / shouting needs dealing with at that particular moment. I would do it every time I heard it.

PatchworkElmer · 22/04/2020 17:19

I think I’d phone after every incident, tbh. And keep a record of it all, too.

Queenoftheashes · 22/04/2020 17:22

This is horrible. And particularly the onus being on the abusers to “accept help”. That’s what happened with Gabriel Fernandez (I’m sure it’s not that bad but ffs social services)

Heygirlheyboy · 22/04/2020 17:29

So Ezira you need to create a safe space for a child who is not responsible for their own safety and doesn't deserve to be shouted at. If they are in garden with you, you need to be nearby to teach them about the dos and donts, not by shouting at them Hmm

Heygirlheyboy · 22/04/2020 17:31

Sorry op, I had typed ' so horrible' above, the parents need some information/guidance re expected child behaviour at that age and appropriate ways of dealing with it. Terrible nothing being done. Like you I'd like to take the child to treat the.nicely, such a gorgeous age too.

Original poster
vodkaicepops · 22/04/2020 17:34

Thanks for the feedback guys and dw I won't stop. I also have an entire memo filled with things and dates I've heard the yelling and am in contact with the guy from the council. The family on the other side are a quiet, friendly polish family and we have spoken briefly but we find it hard to understand each other and it's always a bit socially awkward for this reason. But they're definitely normal, friendly people. I have thought about mentioning to them or putting a note through their door about the noise app I have to hopefully encourage them to use it too.

The shouty parents in the middle are quite antisocial in general. I've had two encounters with them (when I moved in they came over together, banged on my door and rang my bell and demanded I stopped banging - I was putting up shelves in the daytime, (uh, hello, just moved in here).

When they went through a phase of calling her a bully I really had to resist the urge to shout. Some people really truly should not have children.

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SallyWD · 22/04/2020 17:38

This is heartbreaking. I once sat next to a mother and her daughter (probably about 18 months old) in a restaurant. The toddler was as good as gold, strangely quiet in fact but her mum spent the whole time yelling at her in such an aggressive way saying stuff like "You're a fucking embarrassment", "I can't take you anywhere, when will you fucking shut up?" "I'm sick of the sight of you" etc etc. It just went on and on. I just kept thinking if the mother does this in public what the hell goes on at home? These children are going to grow up with severe mental health problems. It makes me feel sick and shakey thinking about it. Maybe call the police as others suggest.

Heygirlheyboy · 22/04/2020 17:39

Called the child a bully? Shock They're from the school of thought that a small child can manipulate them as well, no doubt. Hope someone does something.

tattychicken · 22/04/2020 17:42

Go on to your local authority's website and do a safeguarding referral. You can do this yourself, it's more effective when it's done directly by the witness.