I home educate - my DS has never been to school - AMA

[OvertheUnicornRainbow]

My DS is almost 13, always been home-educated and is thriving. Ask me anything

You are right that seeing professionals is not a guarantee of safeguarding. But not seeing anyone and not being in anyone's sight is a safeguarding issue. I don't see how it can NOT be.

@FennyBridges - the week is good! We get it too. Nothing wrong with having a rest.

@Nearlyalmost50 - I think it would be an extremely rare HE child who saw noone.

I get it Branleuse. People who don’t have kids who struggle just have no real idea how incredibly hard it is. I read a study which said many parents with kids with SN have either depression or PTSD and for many the anxiety and difficulty of dealing with school and advocating for their child there is far worse than the anxiety of caring for their child day to day or the concerns over their future.

Mn has always been fairly sweary!!

Ime, if you have a DC who is struggling it is much easier to home-ed than deal with school. You are really limited in what you can put in place at school vs. home ed. Not because schools don't care but they have had their budgets slashed.

I cant believe mumsnet has actually come to the point where you cant even call a collective unspecified group of posters, cunts. Has this turned into netmums?

I am going to raise my hand and say we home educate our daughter. (5 nearly 6) We're so busy with her schedule tbh. I also registered with the LA and thought they'd make an appointment to see us, but that has yet to happen. I wouldn't mind nor find it intrusive. We are not home educating to be off the grid or hidden. I think our local LA is rather underfunded though as they took two months to respond to my email with a follow up phone call.

We have always wanted to make sure she is well rounded and sociable. To know normal social norms. So she went to a great outstanding nursery firstly so she'd learn how to make friends in any situation. To give her a good basis on learning.

However we also have the view that we will only do Home Education as long as she is thriving and progressing. If she needs to go to school in the future that is absolutely fine. I want her to have the best.

Every single week (during term time) she has a mid week 1.5 hour sports lesson with 30-40 children a similar age. Each half term they concentrate on the particular skills for a sport or two. Then at the end of the lesson for the last half hour the younger ones, including my daughter just get normal play time, like you would at school break. This lesson is with a qualified PE teacher and he has a TA as well.

She attends a 1 hour gymnastics lesson with upto 15 other home ed children. They are learning the same lessons as a regular class so working towards certificates and certain skills.

We have a once a month lesson at the local zoo and obviously visit at other times. A monthly forest school. Every 6 weeks a geography class. Just starting a monthly science class.

All these are in addition to the daily (online and written) maths she does. Reading and writing. Plus obviously geography, history and science that's done at home. Arts, crafts, school trips, cooking/baking.

We use online website that are designed for teachers to for resources to do a lesson. We're trying to follow the NC as best as possible. I have a lady who was an English school teacher and specialised in SEN who we're hoping to soon do weekly lessons with especially as my daughter is currently partially deaf (sometimes it's particularly bad) and probably soon will have to go in for an operation for grommits. I know that in school she would struggle because of her hearing loss, to hear in a busy class room environment all the instructions, to understand properly.

@Booboostwo - surely you can see lots of that is embedded in what I detailed? However, education should be effective. You may say you need to teach xyz and use x method but if my DC passed their GCSEs with flying colours by learning abc and using y method - it really doesn't matter! There is no one size fits all. And surely you understand tutoring 1:1 is different to teaching a class!

To try to answer your question (although I've forgotten what it actually was!). To teach letters - we used the Montessori method - using letter sounds, lowercase, sandpaper letters, drawing in sand etc. letter flashcards and the 3 part lesson.

@cannotmakemymindup - my point on visits being intrusive is based on real cases. It can be hard to understand that if you've not seen it with your own eyes/heard it with your own ears! I started off thinking like you - many new home-edders do. 10 years in you get a different view point!

@cannotmakemymindup - lovely to hear all the things you do. Like you I want the best for my DC and want to see them thriving. We have done what we believe to be best for each of them. I hope your DD continues to enjoy her home-education.

This thread does make it apparent that those who have been teachers for many years can be so wedded to the idea that there is only one way to educate children. Send them to school. It's for the best. I guess somewhere along the line some teachers might lose their ability to think creatively about how different approaches benefit different children if they've been teaching so long. That's something you wouldn't be likely to find in a home educating household at least. The child in a home ed scenario had space to find out who they are and what they are interested in as an individual instead of being herded from generic lesson to generic lesson for 5-7 hours a day. Op you're starting to make it sounds like a very attractive prospect

@FennyBridges I think most children will need proper tutoring to get them a good grade in GCSE exams, because you very much have to teach to the exam criteria. So, we probably agree in this sense. I’m an English teacher and have to craft lessons carefully to teach the skills needed to get good grades in AQA.

@overtheunicornrainbow - so you don't consider most English teachers able to teach English?

I didn't say that at all! I just pointed out that many English teachers will not have had much formal grammar teaching at school, depending how old they are and when they went to school. I'm also basing my comment on personal experience of poor grammar shown by some of my dc's teachers.

How fair would it be for me to worry about your business based on typos on here?

That's a completely different issue. I'm not looking for clients on here, I'm not being paid to proofread my own words here, and there's no need for you to worry about my business, thanks.

But if I were to home school my dc, I would ensure I had enough knowledge of the subjects required first.

@tenlittlecygnets - and I'm not home educating on here! Same thing!

Roll play said it all for me.
Pointed it out, no apology or embarrassment, didn't even change it.
The first day my child was asked if she'd brung her teddy. I kid you not, qualified teacher.
I know they aren't all like this at all, but it was enough for me.
Fair enough, everyone can make a mistake. It might not have been the teacher that wrote the label on the box, but you'd change it.

@ChewChewIsMySpiritAnimal - interesting points. I think one of the main things I like about home ed is, having done a lot of research into how children learn, is that DC learning what they are interested in makes learning so much more efficient. That's why adults often have to go back and take GCSEs etc. Once they want to do it for themselves they can do it much more easily. In a class of 30 and with the consteaints of the NC that is just not possible at school.

I always wondered how my DS and his home-ed friends learnt to read so easily compared to their peers at school. Many of the schooled DC really struggled and all needed a lot of parental input like practising reading every night. Now I see it was because they were being 'forced' to learn on someone else's timetable and for someone else's reasons. Instrinsic motivation really helps!

Home-ed DC have lots of people around them that could potentially raise safeguarding issues.

I think that depends.

The GRT home educators are surrounded by people, yes, but in such a very closed community (and one that is historically fearful of 'authority') it may be that those people are not helpful in raising safeguarding issues.

the same is true of those who home educate because they are part of small, generally closed, religious groups.

Equally, there are (rare) familes who home educate precisely to isolate their children, and keep them away from all authority - do not register their birth, do not register with Drs etc etc. I would emphasise that this is RARE, but it does not mean that we shouldn't design systems that take such extreme cases into account AS LONG AS we don't 'tar everyone with the same brush'.

'Roll play' Maybe they were roleplaying being bakers and making rolls!

This thread does make it apparent that those who have been teachers for many years can be so wedded to the idea that there is only one way to educate children.

I am a teacher who used to be a home educator and trained as a teacher after my child went back into school .... so I would say i have a reasonable view from both sides, though of course my experiences both as a HE parent and as a teacher are only 'individual examples' - as the OP is also - and thus don't cover the totalilty of HE or schooling.

@cantkeepawayforever - I see your point. Not sure what GRT means or home-edders being religious? I think as far as safeguarding the much larger problem is the DC murdered everyday who are in school or nursery, known to health professionals and the community. It makes sense that the focus is more there.

@cantkeepawayforever - it's interesting to see the number of teachers who home-educate their own DC.

Tbf, the absolute number is irrelevant, isn't it? it's the proportion - so if 1% of children are home educated, but the same proportion are at risk, you would expect the number of children affected to be 100x less.

Also, safeguarding isn't just about murder - physical, sexual, emotional abuse, and neglect, are all included. The vast, vast majority of safeguarding concerns dealt with every day, in schools and by other professionals, will be one of these. Neglect is the most common.

@cantkeepawayforever - I just meant why more budget, work etc isn't put into safeguarding of a particular small group is because it is so small. Parents who neglect their DC are unlikely to want to home-educate I would have thought. But of course, that doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

I remember a HE adult posting on MN about how she was abused and how no one had any oversight. She was posting in support of an oversight service. She was pretty much attacked for it.

can'tkeepawayforever

Hi, you do know me but I've nc recently.
The GRT community tend to use primary level education at school, generally speaking.
Senior is usually opted out for cultural belief.
My nieces and nephews finishing primary this year will do Maths and English and any subjects they choose to do.
By the time they get to GCSE's they will already be practising a trade with a parent or close family member.
i.e one niece is already practising hair and beauty treatments, age appropriately and overseen by her mum.
A nephew is accompanying his dad who is a paver (I know, very stereotypical) He too will learn the trade or any other trade he chooses.
They will both attend college to gain NVQ's/ apprenticeships.
Generally speaking they learn a trade or if academic they aren't dissuaded from Higher education. This is generally speaking, but of course there are always exceptions to the norm. A GRT group gained a Barrister not long ago, and I know her whole community were very proud of her.