I home educate - my DS has never been to school - AMA

[OvertheUnicornRainbow]

My DS is almost 13, always been home-educated and is thriving. Ask me anything

The school also does combined science which is fine for pupils whose abilities are not as strong in this area. But no decent school should not be offering triple science.

@Onceuponatimethen Yes some will be HE because they would struggle in schools. But you have to remember that some of the kind of parents who love HE and do it for the whole of their children's lives, are also the kind to encourage "quirkiness", which in reality is often poor social skills and an inability to understand social norms.

@Onceuponatimethen I know a lot of bright teachers who have an A Level in their subject but their degree is slightly skewed. Eg a degree in English Language, but you teach English Literature too. A degree in Politics, but you teach History.

What shouldn't be de-valued is a curious adult who teaches and manages behaviour exceptionally well. Who promotes curiosity. I can see how a home-schooling parent can do that, however, after working full time I couldn't do that with my own children. I am so tired after working, I couldn't then teach my own children.

It seems to be that the lack of good schools is an issue. I am fortunate to live close by to two outstanding schools and we therefore are spoilt. I'm sure each school has its issues however any human organisation would (given that as humans we are all fundamentally flawed in some way )

@janemaster In an ideal world all schools would offer triple. Sadly we live in a world where timetables, cost cutting, staff shortages mean its not possible. Having double instead of triple science doesn't limit A Level choices. Colleges know not all students are given triple as an option.

@ChewChewIsMySpiritAnimal

Maybe you should open your eyes?

I've been a teacher for nearly 25 years. The school I taught in in Berkshire was probably what you're referring to, however, the other three schools I have taught in have been brilliant. I work with dedicated individuals who care so deeply for the emotional and academic development of children. Four school's out of literally hundreds is negligible, I get that, but my experiences of teaching are not exclusive. I know so many teachers like me all over the country.

Perhaps open your eyes and start volunteering in a school? Retrain as a teacher and help change the world?

If you want to do a chemistry degree, every university I know will require an A Level in chemistry and preferably maths. I guess you may be able to do a chemistry degree at the OU without this? And maybe at some universities that struggle to fill their degrees perhaps?

You can get A Level chemistry after doing double science though.

I'm keeping an open mind as i know people who were home educated up to secondary age and did better than their peers; are more confident etc. However they weren't completely isolated - they had each other; local kids to play with; extra curricular activities; extended family and the outdoor space to be free. However there was definitely an element of their mother believing there was one way to live, one set of religious beliefs to hold and not wanting that challenged.

@RuffleCrow yes I've sometimes wondered about the influence of religion and the decision to home-school.

I still want to know, and no one has commented yet - about safeguarding. Who safeguards a home-schooled child? I cannot fathom who. Because if a parent can have absolute control over what you learn, where and when you learn it, how you learn it, where you go and when and to what clubs etc, how can a child ever learn to express something beyond the control of the parent?

And if parents are 'team-tagging' home-schooling between shift work, it reminds me of prisons and visitors and organised, supervised days out. The parent leaves, but the child never does.

What if the parent has a mental illness? I am a recovered anorexic. I skip and slide every now and then. I'm human. But my children can see how other adults function - not just me. If they talk to someone about me slipping and sliding then their emotional needs are supported through the safeguarding team.

I just don't think it's healthy to keep everything at home and everything in families.

But then we're here to openly discuss and, for the record, I completely support any parent who wants to do the best for their child.

Yes I know. But generally people serious about science do triple science. It may not matter in reality if you have excellent teaching. I don't know, I am not an expert. I know that all the newly graduated staff we employ do triple science and a relevant degree. And yes they do look at GCSEs and A Levels as well as marks for each year in the degree on various modules. It surprised me that they do this, but they do.

Hi OP
This is a really interesting thread. Thank you for starting it.
My questions:
Do you use any traditional teaching resources? For eg do you get stuff from tes.com that has been designed by school teachers or is your approach so different that those activities wouldn’t fit/be useful?
Who are the people who teach your ds apart from you and his dad? Are they traditionally trained teachers or are they using alternative methods?
I used to work in an alternative education ‘school’ so I’m interested in lots of different approaches and how we learn and theories about knowledge and skills acquisition.

@FennyBridges No one safeguards. When you raise this HE parents talk about how the child still sees Dr's Dentists, etc. And that school educated children are still abused.
In reality low level neglect is very common in certain types of HE families. The very matted hair, dirty clothes and smells often excused by saying it is SN.

OP thank you for this thread. I do know one person who HE but it's never come up in conversation but should it do then I think I understand things a bit better to have a meaningful conversation in the same way I do with parents who send their DCs to state or private schools. I am childfree but lurk on certain threads as I think it helps me gain insights into other experiences and life.

I too used to think how can one or two parents know all the information across all the subjects to HE but now I understand that it's not the case to be successful for HE. I have to gain new knowledge all the time and it's the ability to find, assess and critique that information that I think is key to learning.

My school years were awful and I suffered bullying for wanting to learn and not take the piss in lessons like my peers. My education suffered considerably and I have spent my adult life trying to catch up. Equally my parents did not put any value on education and learning so HE would have been a disaster if that had been a route they had taken.

Having read this thread from the start I think that people are comparing apples with oranges. The best school experience would probably be better than an average HE. But that could be said of a great HE being compared to an awful school one. Just like some schools which let pupils down I am sure some parents that HE do.

It's not that simple to say school is best for everyone but I do think just as schools are monitored then HE should be.

@janemaster

And there you have it. No one safeguards. No one. A child can only be taken to a doctor or dentist. Safeguarding may be patchy in schools, but at least as professionals we seek to learn lessons from the devastating examples of Victoria Climbie, Baby P and Daniel Pelka. I take hours of training each year. But a child has no power, no control, no way to express anything away from their parents if they're home-schooled. How many kids would confide in a dentist, or even be on their own with one?

Noone safeguards children before compulsory school age though.
Im not saying its right but its worth noting that whatever measures are in place before school (aged 5) could be extended or enhanced to include home schooling.

a very good friend of mine home schools. one of the children is autistic (no formal diagnosis, but it's obvious).
whilst academically the children do well, I think they miss out on certain things.
for example, they do not do physical exercise. parents are not sporty understatement so it's not important to them.
oldest child is now a teen and wants to go to school, but it's hard as they are behind in some things and are not able (yet) to work to timings, like for a test.

@elenacampana - I’m a grammar specialist (teacher) and have a BA English and almost MA Writing. I also proof read so grammar errors stand out a mile off to me. The OP hasn’t made any glaring mistakes so get off your high horse. You’re talking out of your arse... (+ you’ve made a few mistakes yourself.)

Then you should know that a full stop comes after closing brackets unless a full sentence is enclosed in the brackets. You also have an errant ‘off’ in ’stand out a mile off’.

I’d be surprised if I had any errors in my posts but hey ho, typos happen.

IME, most teachers are not grammar specialists. The opposite, in fact, as many learned little formal grammar at school and are now learning it alongside the children they teach.

The OP has made several spelling errors; I’m surprised you haven’t spotted them with your experience.

Btw, I have been running my own copy-editing and proofreading business for 25 years.

@Branleuse The whole point is that I do not have excellent social skills. DP actually helped me learn a lot of social norms.
Not understanding social norms and calling that quirkiness is harmful. Of course people should be allowed to be who they are, but it should be a real choice, not a result of social ineptitude.

@woodencoffeetable Yes it can be self-fulfilling. Parents start HE and their children fall so far behind either in knowledge and skills, or in basic things like being able to work at a reasonable pace, that going to a school becomes very difficult.

I do think HE can be done well, but it is rare. The people I have seen doing HE well were good at self analysis. So good at analysing what they are doing, wanting feedback from others, recognising weaknesses and putting things in place to address these.

But most HE parents see any critical analysis of their HE as an attack on their parenting. So they are very defensive.

And there are HE parents whose written English and spelling are very poor, who do not understand basic arithmetic like fractions. And most HE parents will tell them they can HE well.

@Grasspigeons HV are basically there to safeguard these days. Most children go to nurseries or childminders. Yes there will be children who only see a HV once and do not go to any nursery, playgroup or childminder before school age, but I suspect they are pretty small in number. And if there are concerns about a young child, it is common for SS to insist they regularly attend a nursery as part of safeguarding monitoring.

I'm sorry you have been let down by a school service @Branleuse. Just remember the other half of us didn't vote this government in. I voted Labour despite some reservations. Mostly for my belief in the inalienable right to services like the NHS and education.

On a separate issue. Detailing I'm afraid.

I always thought the full stop came before the brackets. Like inverted commas. This is what I'm pretty sure I've observed in published writing.

Apologies for my typos. I don't 'skip' into a poor eating episode. I slip.

Jane for many dcs it isn’t a choice, they just do struggle socially in spite of parents’ and schools’ best efforts. For these kids school can be a harmful environment where they suffer bullying and can lose all confidence.

One of my dds has had times where I have really doubted School is right for her, but we have ploughed on and dealt with most of the bullying. I currently feel on balance school is best for her but keep it under review.

‘You cunts’, and are you teaching those social skills to your child branleuse?

@Hercwasonaroll - my opinion on inspections is all based on true things I have seen happen. And that I hear happen everywhere. I get it is hard to believe. But there's a reason most home educators are concerned about any LA input and the attitude of the EWO on here and her confirmation that she had no training really showed why.

Re: museums - it is just so much nicer to go when it is quiet and for the DC to be able to see lots of things and do all the hands on things and get 1:1 with staff - rather than seeing only a limited amount, queueing for things and waiting to have a turn, waiting til staff are free to answer questions and just the noise! And this applies to all sorts of places - just so much nicer when quiet! Can you tell I don't like noise?!

But I was also answering to a poster saying just go to the museum at the weekend in response to me talking about the educational visits my DS does as in a workshop/lecture etc is done. That is not the same as just going to the museum at the weekend.