I home educate - my DS has never been to school - AMA

[OvertheUnicornRainbow]

My DS is almost 13, always been home-educated and is thriving. Ask me anything

(For clarity, I mean 'children who were HE up to 16 or beyond' - I know that a number of HE students enter colleges at 16 to do higher level studies, but I was thinking of those who had been HE for the majority of their secondary school years, including the 'normal GCSE years')

@janemaster - I'm not sure why you think you know what my child is doing more than me!! The STEM workshops are actually a series of 6, I think. Once a fortnight. It's a shame you had such a bad education but that has nothing to do with me or what we do. He has lab experience at his Science class. Hmm...Geography - it's just his preference right now, I think - but he did quite a lot when he was younger.

@atankofskunks Im glad that works for you, but that sort of schedule 1 must cost an absolute bomb, and 2, would very likely give any of my three kids burnout. I dont think they could do it for even a couple of weeks.
I dont think ability to cope with that sort of gruelling schedule is something you can teach a child. Some people are extroverts and thrive on constant activities. I know a few. I envy the energy they seem to get from being around people. How fluid their social interactions are. Must be nice. Id be a wreck. So would my kids.
Isnt it interesting just how different we all are. Thankfully we are allowed to be different and to meet our childrens needs as they are, rather than as how strangers insist they should be

OP I am only going on what you posted earlier. You said your DC were attending two classes a week - not 3, plus 2 art classes, plus karate once. But your timetable looks totally different to that. I am not making any assumptions, I have just remembered what you posted earlier.

@atankofskunks - I love George Orwell - sounds like she would do the 6 hours in her room if allowed! I must say my DS would not cope with a full day at school and then activities afterwards and at the weekend. But it looks a good schedule if she enjoys it.

It actually reminds me of another thing I like about home-ed - not having to be strict on early bedtimes - so you can go to the late night opera on a school night. It is nice to be flexible.

@cantkeepawayforever a close friend of mine home educated her daughter for her GCSE years and she is now studying higher maths at a russell group university and was shortlisted for cambridge.
I dont know how common it is, as she is very self motivated and clever, and actually ALL of the universities she applied to were very interested that she had so many great GCSES from being home educated as it showed such self motivation.

Most of the home ed community round here do seem to move on to college, sometimes at 14 as there is a college locally that will take home ed kids at that age. I dont know about universities much though, as I am less involved than I was, due to my dd being so introverted and tbh I dont really know that much about even schooled kids going to university as im more heavily involved in the SEN community and bragging about our kids academic achievements and comparing them to others, just isnt how we roll. We are just trying to get on and do our best.

@cantkeepawayforever - I can't say the sample size I know is big enough to give much indication. Ask me again in 5 years time! Anecdotally, a friend the other day told us her home-ed DD is starting her Phd. I know of one teenager who went to Oxford. I know quite a few who are doing degrees with varying routes there but no idea if they are Russell Group Unis. I know some who have done vocational courses too.

@nevernotstruggling I don’t think anybody has said non HE parents don’t take their child to museums etc. Quite the opposite many home ed families avoid the weekends/half term because those places get very busy!

What people are saying is that if you visit a museum on a Tuesday morning when there are just a few people there then you have a different experience to visiting on a Saturday afternoon when they are busy. I do both but as a family we love midweek museum or gallery visits when they are quiet and you can speak with the staff who often have interesting stories or extra knowledge. You have more time and the atmosphere is different.

Of course there are many families who don’t visit places like that schooled or home ed.

She's got a dystopian fiction obsession at the moment OP.

It does cost us money yes but to be honest, that's why we go to work! I'm a massive believer in providing opportunities for children. When and if she wants to drop something she will with no objection.
And yes, she would spend 6 hours in her room reading OP, no doubt about it but I wouldn't let her as I don't think it's healthy to be so isolated from the world.

@Branleuse - agree

I don't tthe financial pressure for HE comes from the activities and resources. More from the fact that you have to have jobs that mean one person is always at home. Usually this means a mother who doesn't work outside the home. This is a privelidged position. Needing 2 salaries is how most people have to live nowadays.

@janemaster - I was talking about his regular classes. He does lots of other things too as I've tried to explain. You talk as if you speak for all. You say HE children mostly socialise with adults - when I've said my DS socialises with peers, plenty.

@atankofskunks - I'm not sure it's being isolated from the world to read in the early morning/evening. Most people are doing pretty boring things at that time. I read/study for hours too! But I do less of other things people do, I guess.

@Hercwasonaroll - it must depend on different areas but round here I would say most women work but usually part - time. You don't have to be at home with them all the time once teenagers as they go out doing their own thing. Why I was able to increase my hours to 3 days.

@Branleuse - we have a couple of local colleges that take students from 14.

For ages 4-11 they need someone at home full time. That is a luxury many families cannot afford no matter what savings they try to make. Surely you realise that you are privileged to have HE as an option? By default the circles you move in will be socio-economically better off. Does your ds mix with people from a variety of backgrounds?

By default the circles you move in will be socio-economically better off

Plenty of home ed parents aren't better off and work part time / from home too.

@OvertheUnicornRainbow do you think that anyone/everyone could home-ed?
You've said yourself that toughest part is the organisation/planning but I often see home-eder recommend it to parents who post saying they are struggling to get their DC to school on time (not because the DC doesn't want to go but because they are juggling younger siblings etc).

We do "educational visit" things probably every other weekend and two or three times a week in school holidays and we have been to every museum, art gallery, animal park, historical property etc in a 50 mile radius at least twice. I'm not sure how much more value I can add if we were going two or three times every week as there would be lots of repetition. As for places a 12 year old could access alone there are very few (small rural market town - we have a small library and almost not public transport links). Your model may suit cities but opportunities for teens without an adult to drive them about are extremely limited here.

You don't get many (any) home Ed kids on council estates with parents on benefits. To even have HE as an option is fortunate compared to a lot of households. It's brilliant that the OP has this option and can make it work for her.

@hercwasonaroll - they actually don't need a parent there full time. Other parents use child minders, family members or home-ed friends when they are at work. They might do evening/night shifts or weekends to work around the other parent. As I said most women I know that home-ed work part time - I know some who don't work and some who work full time. I know some families who really struggle financially. In my experience if you really want to home-ed you can make it happen. But I appreciate it will be more difficult for some. The circles I move in are very varied socio-economically. Out of my DS's best friends - one is a financially stable family - dad works and mum makes things to sell at home. His 2nd best friend comes from a single parent and very poor household. So yes, he moves in varied circles and from a much larger geographical area. My DD moves in circles of her school friends who are all pretty wealthy as come from the small catchment area.

@Hercwasonaroll - yes you do get some families on benefits. It's quite varied really.

You don't get many (any) home Ed kids on council estates with parents on benefits

You do get some.

Again not my experience @Hercwasonaroll we are not well off at all, we live in a cheap area which means I currently am able to stay home as our rent is low, we run a single (cheap) car and don’t pay out for things we don’t need(for example I don’t have a phone contract, just a very old pay as you go phone). If we lived in the next town I would have to work because rent for a similar house would be far more expensive.

I don’t want to go in depth about other peoples finances but I know single mums on universal credit and I know well off older couples to middle of the range families who all home ed.

I would also find 6 hours alone very concerning if in a regular basis.

My dc are schooled but I still spend I'd say about 5 hours a week on a 1-1 basis so 8 hours doesn't seem sufficient time to reach his potential even being aware that he possibly is better at self study than someone in mainstream.

I can totally understand that some dc with additional needs don't fit into mainstream schools, but there does seem to be an attitude here that HE is usually 'better' than state school & I just don't see how that could be possible in general. For rare children that can't cope with mainstream yes, but not in general.

The museum outings etc are totally what we'd do at downtime also. Thanks for the thread OP. Good to see the different POV

cantkeepawayforever - i dont think thats its fair to say home ed children should go to russel group universities in the same proportion as schooled children - the fastest growing group of home educators are parents of children with SEN or mental health issues ie children the system has failed.