I work in a nursery... AMA

[AMANursery]

Name changed for this just because I post on local boards so don’t want this to be outing to my particular setting.

Just as background, I’ve been in the nursery world for 14 years, started as an apprentice and now a manager and done every role in between!

This thread made me feel a bit teary with gratitude for DD's nursery which is so similar to yours by the sounds of it and has left me feeling even more reassured that we made the right decision. We chose a nursery that was a bit "shabby" in terms of facilities but the staff were a wonderful mixture of older women who had been there for 10 years + and younger women with qualifications and it just felt right. Thank you to you for this thread and for everything you do. Good childcare workers are worth their weight in gold imo.

What would you look for when visiting a nursery for your own children? What do you and your team most appreciate in terms of gifts?

This thread made me feel a bit teary with gratitude for DD's nursery which is so similar to yours by the sounds of it and has left me feeling even more reassured that we made the right decision. We chose a nursery that was a bit "shabby" in terms of facilities but the staff were a wonderful mixture of older women who had been there for 10 years + and younger women with qualifications and it just felt right. Thank you to you for this thread and for everything you do. Good childcare workers are worth their weight in gold imo.

What would you look for when visiting a nursery for your own children? What do you and your team most appreciate in terms of gifts?

Oh how lovely!! That made me feel teary too! Thank you!

I advise my friends to look at interactions between the staff and children, staff and other staff and staff and parents. If all of these seem positive (and not forced!) I would believe it is a good place. I would be happy to hear that staff see each other out of work occasionally, this means their relationships are good which is vital when working in a childcare environment. I would be looking at the child that is crying, does a member of staff comfort them until they are settled? Remember - when you’re looking around staff are conscious of this (or should be) so if you aren’t happy with their interactions, you will definitely not be happy with them once you leave. We try and not put on ‘a show’ during viewings as we don’t want to set unrealistic expectations but we are definitely conscious we’re being watched. I’d be asking about safeguarding, who is their lead? Do they do in house training? How many key children does each member of staff have etc.
I’d go with my gut, if it feels happy and loving, I’d definitely go with that over shiny new resources but with a weird awkward feel.

In regards to gifts, the staff are always very pleased with vouchers. Unfortunately, most of the staff are on minimum wage so something they can spend on themselves always goes down well. One year our school leaver parents all clubbed together and got the staff a voucher for a spa and they were thrilled. With smaller things, we get a lot of chocolate and wine which is always well received 😊

Loved reading this thread! We are expecting our first and will have to put DC into nursery or use a childminder. Do you think nursery is more beneficial than a childminder? We are shift workers which I'm led to believe can make nursery harder as we don't/won't need set days.
Reading this has reassured me despite it being several months until we are at that stage

Loved reading this thread! We are expecting our first and will have to put DC into nursery or use a childminder. Do you think nursery is more beneficial than a childminder? We are shift workers which I'm led to believe can make nursery harder as we don't/won't need set days.
Reading this has reassured me despite it being several months until we are at that stage

Congratulations! So glad it’s put your mind at ease. Nursery vs childminder is very dependent on your family situation and your child’s personality. My son, for example, wouldn’t do well in a childminder. He tends to cling on to one person and as a childminder is usually one person I can imagine it would be very difficult for them to settle him and be with the other children. He thrives off the fact there’s lots of different people and it’s helped him to stop being so clingy to one adult. Some children, however, love the intimacy and calmness of a childminder and struggle with the noise and hustle and bustle of a nursery. I know I’m biased but I would go for nursery over childminder when it comes to the year before school, I feel it prepares them better and it means they are with children of a similar age and start to learn about routines. Just my opinion though everyone is different.
With regards to shift work, we don’t have much flexibility when it comes to days. The days you sign up to tend to be set and we can only occasionally swap them. Some nurseries are more flexible though so it’s definitely worth asking. Good luck!

@AMANursery - thanks - my DD's nursery had a fully equipped Montessori class room at her nursery and she loved it in there!

Another question - they used to do a 'class' each day - music, yoga, ballet etc. The children enjoyed it, no doubt. But I always wondered if it was more to look impressive to the parents rather than of huge benefit to the toddlers (aged 2-5)! What do you think?

This has been really helpful. My DD is starting nursery 2 days a week in a couple of months when she’ll be about 14 months and it’s already making me weepy! We’re happy with how the setting looks, it’s a converted house with a big garden and a mud kitchen etc, the staff seem engaged and nice. But while we looked around the baby room and that felt cosy and comfy, she’s walking much sooner than we’d expected and she’ll now go straight into the toddler room which is making me panic as it was manic and deafening when we were shown that, ratios different, more focussed on loud toys instead of quiet cushiony corners. I’m worried she’ll be left to cry or more likely to get hurt, especially as she’ll be younger than most of them. Is it worth telling them how anxious I’m feeling, asking how they settle them in various situations, or pointless when I’m sure no parent ever says “don’t worry about mine, they’re very robust and can self settle”?

I know she’ll have settling in sessions but she’s so used to me, being responded to immediately, contact napping, feeding on demand.

I know this is long, sorry, but I also want to ask about fluids. She’s great at drinking water from a cup and I’m going to carry on feeding morning, evening, my non working days, weekends. So do you recommend providing expressed milk for them to have in a cup during the day or do most babies of 14 months + not need or want it?

Another question - they used to do a 'class' each day - music, yoga, ballet etc. The children enjoyed it, no doubt. But I always wondered if it was more to look impressive to the parents rather than of huge benefit to the toddlers (aged 2-5)! What do you think?

I would say you’re probably right. There is a lot of pressure to do extra curricular activities, especially getting outside people in e.g. children yoga teachers and although I do see why this is impressive for parents and it is fun for the children, sometimes the disruption to the routine and interruption to their usual day is more effort than it’s worth! It sometimes seems a shame to interrupt their playing to come and do something we’re kind of forcing on them 😂 I’m being contradictory as we do actually do it at my nursery but If I’m being totally honest it’s actually a bit more for the parents than children 😊

@AnneLovesGilbert
Hi, I totally understand your concerns I have a child of a similar age and he’s definitely on the cusp of being a toddler but also definitely still a baby! Is it mandatory that the child has to in this room once they’re walking? I appreciate the activities might be better suited to more physical children but if your child’s personality is a lot ‘softer’ than this room at the moment would it be possible to settle her in the younger room? I would see no harm in using the baby room as a stepping stone for her (and you!) to soften e blow for an already emotional time. I would definitely ask and see what they say. You know your child and if you know that the baby room is better suited to her I would push for her to be in there even if only for a couple of months while she settles. The summer time tends to be a big transitional time for nurseries so I’m sure more children will move into the older room around then so she could move with some, albeit slightly younger, peers. She’s so young so I wouldn’t worry about it being detrimental to her development 😊

I would be reluctant to allow her to have a cup of expressed milk to carry around as other children would definitely try and drink it but I’d see no harm in asking them to try her with some milk at sleep time or whatever. She may well refuse it which is fine as she’s getting plenty with you but it may help with her settling 😊

Thank you for wading through my lengthy post and for a kind reassuring response. Congratulations on your own baby

I’m in a bit of a stress about the whole thing and probably speculating wildly so I’ll ask when I can pop back in for a chat, ask about her going into the baby room to start with and ask about milk. I was specifically thinking she could have it for nap time or after meals and they asked how she was fed when we went for the initial look around and said some mums leave EBM but I didn’t know if that was pandering or something people really do.

I’m obviously thrilled she’s walking and don’t want anything to take away from it but I went to bed that night panicking it means she’d go straight into the chaos, albeit I’m sure very well managed and totally normal chaos I need to talk to them. I doubt I’m the first anxious first timer...

Thank you.

My DD(6) went to preschool rather than nursery, and she loved it so much that for the first 6 months she screamed when I picked her up. Other kids would cry at being dropped off and were so happy to be collected (despite having had a great time), but she hated leaving so much. Does that way around happen often? It makes us laugh now but at the time it was awful and embarrassing!

We liked the preschool and are probably sending DS(19mo) there next year instead of the nursery in DD's school. The school nursery would be easier to get to (though they're on the same street), is technically a better setting, has more structure and would allow him to become more familiar with the building, staff, etc. Are we doing him a disservice by sending him to the same preschool as DD? She thrived there but he's a different child entirely! He's also a summer born.

(In fact, the only thing I didn't like was that they used to hang wet paintings on the wall right above their pegs, so DD's coat and bag would get covered in paint! I always thought that was a strange thing to do.)

@AnneLovesGilbert definitely not pandering - it’s a very very common request. I do the same with my son at nursery, the staff won’t bat an eyelid.
When asking questions with the nursery please don’t feel you’re being a hindrance, my main job is reassuring new parents and I never feel like this is a pain. As a nursery I am offering a service and part of that service is ensuring you feel comfortable. Ask for a quick chat with the manager to run through any questions (write them down beforehand) and I’m sure you’ll come out feeling so much better.
Relaxed parents, relaxed baby. Your daughter will settle so much better if she picks up on your calmness rather than anxiety 😊

@CoodleMoodle haha - very common. Just yesterday I had a child say ‘no thank you - not yet’ when seeing their dad at pick up time. I think sometimes the tears is also from being overwhelmed, stimulated from the day and tiredness.
I would suggest to look at both settings again, when you looked last time it was for a different child to this time so you may be looking for different things. A summer born boy definitely has different needs from, let’s say a September born girl but this doesn’t necessarily mean a different setting all together. I would just go to the pre-school just to check things out, things may have changed from the last time you went in and you may feel your son suits it better than your daughter would have done. But I wouldn’t say either will be a disservice both will beneficial to his confidence and development.
Agree, very strange thing to do re: paintings. Hopefully they’ve changed this by now - surely they’ve had a few complaints!

@AMANursery - yes, all the classes were by outside providers. I guess this might be something Ofstead look for? As, I said I know the DC enjoyed them. I just thought the fees might have been cheaper without them!! It was a wonderful nursery, though and my DD was happy there, so money well spent. You sound lovely, OP - I'm sure the DC are very happy at your nursery.