I work in a nursery... AMA

[AMANursery]

Name changed for this just because I post on local boards so don’t want this to be outing to my particular setting.

Just as background, I’ve been in the nursery world for 14 years, started as an apprentice and now a manager and done every role in between!

Thank you for this thread and your replies, so helpful 😊

Have you ever had to deal with a very angry parent and what was the outcome?

Have you ever had to deal with a very angry parent and what was the outcome?

Yes - a few times. A couple of times when they have discovered we have reported concerns to SS. I’ve always just had to remain professional and remember I’m doing it for the child. Outcome is usually that they get the support they need and eventually end up being thankful.

A few times over missing clothes. Parents seem to get very angry about this. I get it’s frustrating but if things aren’t labelled we really struggle to know who’s clothes belong to who. One time a dad shouted at me telling me I’d lost his son’s favourite jacket and that he was taking his son out, I then opened an email a few hours later of him admitting he found the jacket at home, it had never even come to nursery. He was very apologetic.

I’d say I get about two emails a month with concerns and these are always dealt with very quickly and the parents always seem happy after.

Do you have children of your own? Or has it put you off a bit?! 😄

Do you have children of your own? Or has it put you off a bit?! 😄

Haha! I do, he goes to the other nursery and loves it. I thought I’d be fine settling him as I know how great it is and obviously I have an insight into how genuinely love the staff are but I still cried just as much as the other parents!

Thank you for answering my question.

Any advice on fussy eating?

How old is the child @DreamingofSunshine

No question but thank you for doing this. My 12 month old will be starting nursery very soon and this has been quite reassuring!

He's 2.5. he's allergic to dairy which doesn't help!
I'm gluten free and mainly veggie but DS refuses to eat any vegetables, and will only eat sausages in terms of meat. We eat together, involve him in cooking, let him choose.... nothing works!

What do you think about the Montessori method?

What do you think about the Montessori method?

I like the ethos, I especially like the resources. Our nursery has a few Montessori influences with regards to natural wooden and ‘real’ toys. I think it teaches great problem solving skills and promotes independence

He's 2.5. he's allergic to dairy which doesn't help!
I'm gluten free and mainly veggie but DS refuses to eat any vegetables, and will only eat sausages in terms of meat. We eat together, involve him in cooking, let him choose.... nothing works!

Bless him and poor you, does he go to nursery?

Have you ever suspected that a child might be on the autistic spectrum, or have issues with speech & language, or behavioural and emotional issues that the parents seem to be unaware of?
How do you deal with this? In what way do you approach the parents? What do you do if the parents don't agree that there is a concern?

It must be a hugely difficult and sensitive part of the job

What’s your policy on workers with cold sores and young babies?

Great thread! You sound like a lovely nursery manager

Have you ever suspected that a child might be on the autistic spectrum, or have issues with speech & language, or behavioural and emotional issues that the parents seem to be unaware of?
How do you deal with this? In what way do you approach the parents? What do you do if the parents don't agree that there is a concern?

Yes. We try to start conversations as early as possible so as to never shock a parent. We may begin with a visit from a HV, or a speech and language therapist. From here, we can suggest escalating the support dependant on the concern. Of course nursery is optional so unless it is a safeguarding concern we do need the parents permission to do any of this. Sometimes parents don’t co-operate for whatever reason, and I do understand how sensitive this is so it’s all about timing and compassion. We’ve had a parent refuse any extra help and take their child out, which is frustrating but ultimately their choice. I bumped into her a few years later and her child was diagnosed with autism, she accepted that she always knew but was not ready for confirmation of this.

Of course, if we have serious concerns about a child and the parents are not co-operating with us we liaise with social services.

What’s your policy on workers with cold sores and young babies?

Staff are not allowed to kiss children. A member of staff with a cold sore would be told to wash hands a lot more often and ensure they are wearing gloves during intimate care. To be honest, I would swap a member of staff with a nasty cold sore from the baby room to an older room until it had passed purely for peace of mind for all involved

Great thread! You sound like a lovely nursery manager

Oh thank you! :)

Thank you so much for doing this, you sound caring and it gives me peace of mind to think the staff at DS' nursery take food care of him.

DS is very clingy to his key worker. He cries when she leaves the room until she comes back. I'm worried what will happen when she goes on holiday! Is this normal behaviour? How long will it take for him to get used to the other staff, who are just as lovely? Is there anything I can do to help him?

You sound lovely OP.

My DC's nursery was fantastic and they looked after them so well, prepared them for school and potty trained my impossible son!

What happens if parents are late to collect? Do staff have to hang about?

Frivolous question, if a child takes their first steps at nursery do you keep quiet and pretend they haven't so parents can have that milestone at home? Fairly sure our lovely nursery did that

Thank you so much for doing this, you sound caring and it gives me peace of mind to think the staff at DS' nursery take food care of him.

DS is very clingy to his key worker. He cries when she leaves the room until she comes back. I'm worried what will happen when she goes on holiday! Is this normal behaviour? How long will it take for him to get used to the other staff, who are just as lovely? Is there anything I can do to help him?

Ah glad you found it helpful.
This is very common, the child tends to cling on to one person that they see as safe. I’m assuming during your settling sessions your child saw you and the key worker talking, leading them to trust them because you do. In the nursery during a day I would be advising the staff to spend more time with your child, in a similar way that you settled your child initially the key worker should start doing the same. Leaving, coming back etc. Not sure of the age of your child but if they are old enough to understand it would be great for you to learn the names of the other staff and speak about them positively at home.
I wouldn’t worry too much though, in my experience when the key worker goes on holiday the child settles for the other staff and it ends up being beneficial in the long run :)

What happens if parents are late to collect? Do staff have to hang about?

Thank you :)

Yes, at least two staff need to stay for safeguarding reasons and one must be qualified and both must be first aid trained. It’s a pain, especially when the parent hasn’t let us know so we haven’t been able to plan appropriately. We understand things happen but a lot of the staff start at 7:30 so are usually quite eager to get home! I know some nurseries charge £1 a minute for lateness but it isn’t as much of an issue for us so we just charge a flat rate, parents are never usually more then 10-15 minutes late. If a parent were ever over 30 mins late without any communication to us and we can’t reach the emergency contact we have to call the police who will need to deal with social services. I’ve never experienced this though.

Frivolous question, if a child takes their first steps at nursery do you keep quiet and pretend they haven't so parents can have that milestone at home? Fairly sure our lovely nursery did that grin

Haha - yes we do. It’s one of the first thing staff are told to be aware of. A lot of our full time children do a lot of ‘firsts’ at nursery but it’s just one of those things. The first time they do in front of parents is more special anyway. I’m sure my son did his first steps at nursery too!

@Asiama
Another thing! When you’re discussing nursery with your child try and avoid ‘shall we go and see keyworker’ but more ‘shall we go and see other staff names/ the slide/the book corner’. Just to make nursery less focussed on this member of staff and talking about all the other great things there. Also, I know it’s instinct to hand your child over to the key worker but maybe gradually start handing them to other staff, they may be more unsettled at drop off but it will show your child you trust them :)