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AMA

I have eight children

138 replies

amazinggracing · 24/11/2019 10:20

Ask away!

OP posts:
amazinggracing · 24/11/2019 14:29

Did you breastfeed?

I exclusively breastfed all of my children and then mixed fed from about five months.

What are the sexes?

Five girls, three boys

Do you do play dates/parties with other children?

Yes, we do.

Do your children get new toys, books, clothes (individually) or do you mostly pass down?

Both.

Do they fight?

Yes.

What time do you go to bed?

Between 10-12 most nights. Not a usual time.

What time do you get up?

My youngest usually wakes up at 8am. But often another child will wake me up early. The usual is 8am.

OP posts:
AlwaysOnAbloodyDiet · 24/11/2019 14:33

How long did it generally take you to conceive? Did it take longer, the older you got?

Did you face judgement from your families?

I have a peculiar interest in this topic Grin

amazinggracing · 24/11/2019 14:34

How do you feel about being judged all the time?

It can bother me, but less and less as time goes on. We're all happy, so I focus on that.

*How much is "barely any"? How much is "from time to time"?

If the older kids are looking after the younger, you need to own up to that and be very aware. Even if the elder kids are just spending a few hours each evening or afternoon looking after the younger ones, and they don't mind at all, you're still relying on that for your family to function. That's time they could spend at clubs, tutoring sessions, or even just with their friends.*

The longest they will look after younger ones is when I go for a shower or in the other room whilst I cook dinner.

How old are your children?

16, 14, 11, 9, 9, 6, 4, 2

OP posts:
orangeteal · 24/11/2019 14:38

What do you think of the Radfords?

Footballmumto3 · 24/11/2019 14:40

How would you cope with a divorce? Practically and financially?

SuperficialSuzie · 24/11/2019 14:40

What is your daily routine OP?

Sharonthetotallyinsane · 24/11/2019 14:43

Do you think people are hostile to large families?

Sharonthetotallyinsane · 24/11/2019 14:45

I’m curious to know when you did realise the impact of children on the environment given you have children under 5. That’s not necessarily a criticism, I have more children than the average too.

AnneKipanki · 24/11/2019 14:47

Are you my cousin?

WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles · 24/11/2019 14:47

"How much do you spend on groceries each month?

About £350 a month if I shop carefully, but it varies a lot"

This is a genuine question - how the fuck do you manage that? By my reckoning, averaged out over twelve months (I am shit at maths, sorry if it's wrong) that's approx £10 a week per person. Obviously your 2 yr old won't eat that much, but your teenagers will so it balances out.

We are a large family with a tight budget, we buy in bulk at Costco, mostly cook from scratch and have a lot of cheap meals like porridge/soups and there is no way on God's green earth I could feed us on £10 a week each.

I'd be very interested in how you do this. Do you have an allotment or are veggie?

AnneKipanki · 24/11/2019 14:49

It's ok , read more if the thread
You are not my cousin.

TulipCat · 24/11/2019 14:52

What do you do when you have to treat for nits? How on earth can you treat them all on the same day, as is recommended?

Bluntness100 · 24/11/2019 14:55

Do you own your home?

DogAndCatPerson · 24/11/2019 14:59

My husband earns an excellent living, well into six figures, I am a SAHM/carer, so no personal income. We could not comfortably support 8 children though we live very comfortably as a family of 5 (3 children). Do you live in a very cheap/affordable part of the country and/or do multiple children share rooms?

That food budget of £350 a month sounds like total cobblers, sorry. Hmm

Ck25 · 24/11/2019 15:00

Hi I'm new here, I have 5 kids but my family is complete.happy times but exhausting to.

amazinggracing · 24/11/2019 15:01

Do the kids all get on most of the time?

They do bicker, but not most of the time. We've been blessed with pretty good, easy going kids.

Are you close to all your siblings? Do they also have large families?

Yes, very close. They all live nearby except my brother who moved to Scotland with his husband and their daughter. My older sister has three, younger brother has four and he and his wife have just announced they're expecting again and the youngest, third brother has none and youngest, sister, has four.

How do you deal with the clutter of things?

I am always obsessively organising things. We're lucky to have quite a lot of storage which helps to keep clutter levels low.

Are the age gaps big or were there multiples?

I've answered their ages above, the fourth and fifth were twins.

Do all your children like being part of a big family?

They always say that they love it. We've never had any indication that they struggle with having so many siblings.

How do you afford Christmas?

I put money away all year for Christmas, starting in January. We're lucky that we aren't strapped for cash so we definitely manage.

Do your kids do extra curricular activities? If so how do you prioritise who gets their choice and who gets whatever fits in?

Yes. It's a real juggling act, where most of my time goes. With every activity, at least two children do it, which makes it a bit easier.

How long did it generally take you to conceive? Did it take longer, the older you got?

We've been lucky that conceiving has always been pretty easy.

Did you face judgement from your families?

To our faces, no. But I'm sure behind our backs.

OP posts:
Baguetteaboutit · 24/11/2019 15:08

That food budget of £350 a month sounds like total cobblers

Yeah, I can't understand how you do that. Between the five of us, although we do have a coeliac that inflates the cost, we'd spend that in a little over a fortnight. I know we spend too much really but I just can't figure how you spend less that £100/week with ten people to feed? Confused

icantbecani · 24/11/2019 15:08

Just wanted to say op not everyone is judging you for having lots of children. Lucky you. There are plenty of benignly neglectful 2 child families out there. I think having lots of children means that you have to be more organised about giving them one on one time - but as you timetable it, it actually happens. I have four children, my number three said to me the other day that he was really glad that it wasn't just him. Enjoy your chaos!

Savingshoes · 24/11/2019 15:09

You never call them by the wrong name?! Now that's skill!! My grandmother was always calling us by someone's name. We would always wait patiently when she would start at the eldest "Joh... ah...Ammmb...I mean... Kell...oh!!! You know who you are! Can you please xxx" Grin
Did you try to have an even number so no one got left out? (I had a friend who did this!)
How often do people stop you in the street and say how much they envy you?

ymf117 · 24/11/2019 15:09

How do you cope? We have 4 and it's bad enough trying to get 2 of them to school each day 😂

amazinggracing · 24/11/2019 15:10

What do you think of the Radfords?

I try not to judge but I disagree with their lifestyle. We would love more, but it wouldn't be best for our kids, so we aren't having any more now.

How would you cope with a divorce? Practically and financially?

I have my own savings and have a lot of family support. We would share the load, DH is very hands on. It would be awful but we'd manage.

What is your daily routine OP?

It varies every day depending on what clubs the kids have etc.

Typically, DH gets up and gets the primary aged children up and then I get up at 8 and finish of getting everyone ready and do the school run. I get home at about 10am and do housework then will do some baking or some kind of activity with the younger two. We go for walks and to soft play and some mother and toddler groups. I pick the kids up at 3:30 then again, the time we have dinner etc. depending on what activities they have and if DH is home or not.

OP posts:
icantbecani · 24/11/2019 15:12

How old are you op? And did you get your figure back?!

amazinggracing · 24/11/2019 15:13

This is a genuine question - how the fuck do you manage that?

We don't eat meat. I really do shop around for deals and bargains and use a lot of coupons. We have a veggie patch in the garden but it's not very big and I struggle to maintain it at times.

What do you do when you have to treat for nits? How on earth can you treat them all on the same day, as is recommended?*

It's a horror show when this happens. And it's happened a lot. It's literally a lock down day, gruelling and stressful.

Do you own your home?

Yes.

That food budget of £350 a month sounds like total cobblers, sorry.

I did say that it varies, but often I'm able to keep it down to around this. It's actually very doable.

OP posts:
Footballmumto3 · 24/11/2019 15:16

Obviously circumstances vary hugely.
But op how did you manage to save anything substantial when you’ve been at home with 8 kids and started when you were just 21? It’s an achievement!

amazinggracing · 24/11/2019 15:18

How old are you op? And did you get your figure back?!

I'm 37. I didn't get my figure back, although I think I look quite good considering what my body has been put through. I'm a size 8-10 but do have loose skin.

*Would you agree that having eight children could be seen as a selfish decision on your part, as it seems to prioritise your wants/needs over those of the children?
*
I am also one of six and loved it. I completely see how people view it as selfish, but I know it's not. We would love more, but we have stopped at 8 because that's what's best for our children. They all have their needs (and most of their wants) met.

Are you religious?

Agnostic.

Obviously circumstances vary hugely.
But op how did you manage to save anything substantial when you’ve been at home with 8 kids and started when you were just 21? It’s an achievement!

I worked up until relatively recently and I also inherited money from my grandparents as well as a trust fund from my parents. I'm very good with money and saving.

OP posts:
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