I was a Jehovah's Witness- Ask me anything

[Brightsunny]

I grew up as one and left at 18, 12 years ago and was disfellowshipped. Ask me anything if anyone is interested

Has your entire family broken contact since you've been disfellowshipped?

What made you leave?

did you get dragged round people's houses? I remember once 2 of them came to my door and they had a very unhappy looking child with them, I felt very sorry for him

Has your entire family broken contact since you've been disfellowshipped?
Mostly yes, I have a few family members that I still speak to. My sister also left
What made you leave?
I suppose I just wanted something different in life. My mum only really wanted me to have a life inside of the religion and she was so determined to keep it that way
did you get dragged round people's houses?
Yeah I did go door to door, I never really enjoyed it

Have you celebrated your birthday yet?

Do you have children? Do they know or understand why you domt have much contact with your family? If not will you one day explain?

Ah jut aw your age sorry, how was your first ever birthday?

Is it classed as Christian?

Did you have a happy childhood though? Looking back do you think you or yr family were brainwashed?

Are you still religious? If so, what do you believe?

one thing I can't get my head round is no blood transfusions. So would a parent actually refuse treatment for their child?

do you have children? Do they know or understand why you domt have much contact with your family? If not will you one day explain
I have one DD she's not old enough to understand but I think I'll quite honest with her when she is
Ah jut aw your age sorry, how was your first ever birthday?
I didn't do a lot for it but it was definitely memorable
Is it classed as Christian?
Yes
Did you have a happy childhood though? Looking back do you think you or yr family were brainwashed?
I don't think my childhood was nessacarily bad, it was partly all I knew, whilst I had non witness friends at school so I was aware of things like Christmas and Birthdays and so on, it was normal to me that I didn't do a lot of the things they did. I have a lot happy memories from my childhood, I was close to my siblings and had lots of really good friends within the congregation. As a child I simply believed everything I was told, I didn't start to question it untill I was a teenager and I suppose some people never question it.
Are you still religious? If so, what do you believe?
No I'm not, I don't think I believe anything now
one thing I can't get my head round is no blood transfusions. So would a parent actually refuse treatment for their child?
Possibly yes, some might accept it but they would be shunned for it

Hi and thank you for giving us your time.

Further question:

Are there any aspects of it that you miss?

What was, if anything, your biggest challenge to adapt to life outside of his religion when you left?

What was your trigger/s for leaving? You say, you wanted different things. What were the points of difference?

Sorry, fat-fingered typos.

*Questions

*this religion

Is it true that a lot of JWs have quite low skilled jobs such as cleaning etc. due to not doing further education so a lot of them are struggling for money? I went to a talk with an ex JW once and she mentioned this.

Also are they supposed to give some of their money to the Watch Tower (is that what it's called?)? Like a percentage of earnings? Sorry if I have this wrong.

Was it a big struggle to decide to leave or once you'd worked out it was right for you did you find it easy? I mean, did you have to wrestle with the decision inside yourself for a long time?
And do you miss your mum, especially, and other family members who no longer see you?
And bloody well done!

Do you know if many people become Jehovah's Witnesses or are people generally born into it?

Do they believe the doorstep thing is effective? It feels like such a waste of time. Most people must refuse to talk or humour them to be polite but I can't see many taking them seriously.

I watched a film called Apostasy last week. It was about Jehovah's Witnesses and was very insightful about the day to day living of the followers. I was surprised about how grief was portrayed though, like it wasn't the done thing to show any grief, is that right?

Did you ever have anyone join or show an interest through you going door to door?

Do you find you have moved wholly away, or do you find yourself stopping sometimes- eg questioning a very elaborate birthday? I ask as someone who moved away from religion, I still sometimes walk past the hall and feel I should go/ feel odd bringing up my child without the heritage. Totally illogical, but it lingers. Or does being cast out in a way sever the tie better mentally

Are there any aspects of it that you miss?
I do miss in some ways being part of a community and I do miss my family and friends
What was, if anything, your biggest challenge to adapt to life outside of his religion when you left?
Well in the religion your life is kind of laid out for you and knowing I didn't have that was a good thing but a bit terrifying that it was all up to me to figure out my life. Along with accepting non JW's and the outside world in general wasn't as terrible and evil as I was taught it was.
What was your trigger/s for leaving? You say, you wanted different things. What were the points of difference?
I think the main trigger was my older sister leaving, whilst it made me realise my family really would ignore me and I would be shunned for it but it also made me realise I didn't have to stay if I didn't want to and at least I would have her. Reasons I wanted to leave was having gone to a local school I saw life outside of being a witness through friends and it made me curious and made me envy them a bit. Along with really wanting to go onto further education. I left school at 16 and I was encouraged to start working a basic job straight away and remaining meant I would probably never get the chance to do anything else.

Sorry It's taken me a few days to get round to answering these
Is it true that a lot of JWs have quite low skilled jobs such as cleaning etc. due to not doing further education so a lot of them are struggling for money? I went to a talk with an ex JW once and she mentioned this
This is true most people didn't go into further education and instead finished school at 16 and went straight into whatever low paid job they could find or spend their time going door to door.
Also are they supposed to give some of their money to the Watch Tower (is that what it's called?)? Like a percentage of earnings? Sorry if I have this wrong
When doing door to door they ask for donations after giving out magazines and the JW's also donate towards that. Along with giving donations to Kingdom Halls, which is then given to the branch offices. So essentially a lot of their wages do end up being given away
Was it a big struggle to decide to leave or once you'd worked out it was right for you did you find it easy? I mean, did you have to wrestle with the decision inside yourself for a long time?
I did think about it for a long time before actually leaving but I think once I was completely sure that was what I wanted I did it, it wasn't easy though
And do you miss your mum, especially, and other family members who no longer see you?
I do, I think about them everyday and it's hard not having them around even after so many years
Do you know if many people become Jehovah's Witnesses or are people generally born into it?
I knew more people who were born into it but some of the adults in my congregation became JWs out of choice
Do they believe the doorstep thing is effective? It feels like such a waste of time. Most people must refuse to talk or humour them to be polite but I can't see many taking them seriously
Majority of the time it isn't effective at all but I suppose they do it for the few times people actually show an interest
I was surprised about how grief was portrayed though, like it wasn't the done thing to show any grief, is that right?
I don't think grieving is particually frowned upon but funerals were always very simple and short. I think it's more seen as a time of hope
Did you ever have anyone join or show an interest through you going door to door?
Some people did show interest but I don't think anyone ever joined through just that
Do you find you have moved wholly away, or do you find yourself stopping sometimes- eg questioning a very elaborate birthday? I ask as someone who moved away from religion, I still sometimes walk past the hall and feel I should go/ feel odd bringing up my child without the heritage. Totally illogical, but it lingers. Or does being cast out in a way sever the tie better mentally
I did find myself questioning my actions for a few years at least but I think now I'd say I've moved away from it. Though I still don't do very elaborate celebrations but I've found I prefer to keep it quite simple and small anyway. It was hard to completely separate myself from it mentally because It was how I had been raised

Thank you so much for responding. It's fascinating.

May I ask more questions?

I had no idea about the concept leaving the education early to go into low skilled jobs. Did you find a gender divide there ie. were women more likely to be pushed towards this choice? I knew a Jehovah witness who had a successful business hence the question. His wife didn't work however. I appreciate that's a small sample to make that judgement so wanted to check on this.

Also, if not too personal, how did you leave? Did you have to hide your intention, leave without telling anyone or was it an open declaration that you were leaving and you had to deal with the reaction there and then?

Did your parents/community try to persuade you to stay?

Hey bright 👋

I have spoken quite a bit on here at times on my upbringing as a witness, I’m tired tonight but give me a shout if you ever want a chat.