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AMA

I'm a gender critical young person - AMA.

49 replies

Th0ughtCriminal · 28/04/2019 19:40

As the title says, I'm a gender critical young person (currently in sixth form).

I've been lurking for ages and doing a lot reading through Feminism Chat. Not sure if I would label myself a feminist (I don't tend to label myself as anything, to be honest), but I do find myself agreeing with the vast majority of what is said on here - especially on trans/gender issues.

I was about 13 when all of this sort of stuff kicked off, and for a couple of years I was pretty much indoctrinated into believing TWAW and that I should support everything trans etc. Then a few things happened in my school and I started to question what I was being told - and then I found MN, where my eyes were opened to what is really going on.

For the past couple of years now I've been firmly gender critical. My (small group of) friends largely agree with me, but we aren't really vocal about it because it wouldn't go down well.

So, I wanted to start this thread because I don't really get the chance to share my viewpoint in real life. Ask me anything :)

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EndoplasmicReticulum · 28/04/2019 19:53

When you say you were " indoctrinated" do you mean at school?

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AllTheWhoresOfMalta · 28/04/2019 19:55

Have you got any trans kids at your school? If you do what is the general feeling about it amongst your peers? I’m a former teacher and the school I was at started to get a few in my final few years. Was unheard of when I went into teaching in the mid noughties.

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OhHolyJesus · 28/04/2019 19:56

You say it wouldn't go down well if you were to be openly GC, what are your fears?

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ByGrabtharsHammarWhatASaving · 28/04/2019 19:57

a few things happened in my school and I started to question what I was being told

What happened?

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Isitweekendyet · 28/04/2019 19:58

What is gender critical?
What is TWAW?
What happened at school?

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Th0ughtCriminal · 28/04/2019 20:03

Endoplasmic Yes, mostly at school and then also by things on social media that were shared by friends/peers.

At school we had loads of assemblies on LGBT things, which were actually only about the T (and more genders), and every single PSHE class was about how to be nice to transgender/non binary people because "suicide rates/bullying/victims etc".

With social media, it was like you were cool and popular if you were non binary, or trans, or genderfluid. And if you weren't any of these things, or you didn't support this, then you were ostracized from friend groups. Also, YouTube videos of people's transitions influenced me a lot into believing that this movement was totally harmless.

This still happens all the time within the social circles of my younger siblings.

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2BthatUnnoticed · 28/04/2019 20:12

(Not sure how old sixth form is) This is the Mum in me talking but.. do your parents know you posted here and are they fine with it?

I’d want to know if my child was talking to adults online (not matter how nice they all may be!).

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Prawnofthepatriarchy · 28/04/2019 20:13

Are you at a mixed school? And if so, does it have single sex loos?

At school we had loads of assemblies on LGBT things, which were actually only about the T (and more genders), and every single PSHE class was about how to be nice to transgender/non binary people because "suicide rates/bullying/victims etc".

That sounds like indoctrination - and boring with it. Do you think being force fed this crap helped form your gender critical views?

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Prawnofthepatriarchy · 28/04/2019 20:15

Sixth form is 16+, 2BthatUnnoticed, so I'd think OP is well within her rights to engage here.

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RepealTheGRA · 28/04/2019 20:16

What area of the country are you in?

At school we had loads of assemblies on LGBT things, which were actually only about the T (and more genders), and every single PSHE class was about how to be nice to transgender/non binary people because "suicide rates/bullying/victims etc

Sounds shit even by ‘woke’ standards.

2BthatUnnoticed

16/17/18

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Th0ughtCriminal · 28/04/2019 20:18

All There are absolutely loads of trans/non binary/genderfluid kids at my sixth form, and there were quite a few in my secondary school too. I think that quite a large proportion of people my age support/agree with what is going on and are pretty vocal about it, but the ones who don't just keep their heads down.

Holy Well, at my sixth form all of the walls are covered in "trans right are human rights" sort of stuff, and the "LGBT Society" only ever talks about trans things. Most of the teachers are very pro-trans and there's lots of Stonewall/Mermaids charity stuff going on too. I guess I'm worried about people directing verbal abuse at me. I get a few shitty comments anyway because I have short hair, wear "boys" clothes etc, but they're nothing to what I'd get if I started speaking about this.

Grabthars In a biology class I was asked about the sex chromosomes by the teacher. I said "XX is female, XY is male" and a person who identified as non binary started verbally abusing me, spread rumours about me, told people that I'd made them self harm etc. Not very nice. And then on an Instagram post the caption was something like "answer this: can transwomen claim womanhood?" and I said no, because they were raised male and don't know what it's like to be female - and again, I received insults and comments for stating facts.

Isit Gender critical = believing that gender is a social construct that harms people (particularly women) by reinforcing sex-based stereotypes, relates to the current trans movement.
TWAW = the belief that transwomen are women (they aren't).
What happened at school = see above.

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Th0ughtCriminal · 28/04/2019 20:22

2B My mum is aware of what I do on the internet, and she's okay with it. Also, seeing as most people my age aren't willing to talk about this then I don't really have anywhere else to go.

Prawn Yes, but there are also "Gender neutral" toilets, and if a student identifies as trans they are free to use whatever bathroom they want to.
And, eventually, yes. At first I went along with it all, bit eventually there comes a point when the idea of changing sex and there being 89 genders becomes ridiculous.

Repeal North West (ish).

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2BthatUnnoticed · 28/04/2019 20:28

Thanks Prawn and Rufus, OP it’s an interesting discussion.

When I was at school, homophobia was unfortunately still quite bad, girls called “leso” etc. Has that stigma, particularly for girls, decreased?

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PlinkPlink · 28/04/2019 20:30

Do you feel discussions like this are best kept for later in life? Teens already have so much going on without thinking about whether they feel like they're a man or a woman.

As a teacher I saw a lot of teens jump on the bandwagon with what's trendy and what's not, whats popular and what's not.

Do you think that some of your peers that identify as non-binary/trans/insert whatever gender in here, have done so because they've observed it's cool or edgy or gets attention?

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PencilsInSpace · 28/04/2019 20:32

Have you noticed much change in the general climate since you were 13? Is it getting easier to be gender critical, more difficult, about the same?

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RepealTheGRA · 28/04/2019 20:39

Thanks OP

What do you think concerned adults can do to improve this situation for you and indeed all young people?

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Time40 · 28/04/2019 20:42

I get a few shitty comments anyway because I have short hair, wear "boys" clothes etc

That's a shame, OP. I'd be interested to know what sort of comments you have had directed at you, though. Have you felt any pressure yourself to say that you are trans?

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Lettera · 28/04/2019 20:44

Hi OP, thank you for starting this thread.

Are there many out lesbians at your school? Is it accepted that lesbians are females who are exclusively attracted to other females?

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nauticant · 28/04/2019 20:45

Do you ever worry that if you're views become known among your peers, you'll find yourself being Ralph at the end of The Lord of the Flies?

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Persifleur · 28/04/2019 20:48

Thanks for posting! May I ask 2 questions?

What was it, if you can identify anything in particular, that made you question the prevailing orthodoxy?
Apart from the criticism you've mentioned (and that sounds difficult) are there other sanctions that worry you?

You young people! Absolutely brilliant!

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ByGrabtharsHammarWhatASaving · 28/04/2019 20:49

In a biology class I was asked about the sex chromosomes by the teacher. I said "XX is female, XY is male" and a person who identified as non binary started verbally abusing me

What was your teachers response to this? Was the student disciplined for abusing you? Did the teacher support that you'd given the correct answer to the question?

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Daughterofmabel · 28/04/2019 20:56

Hi OP. Its interesting reading whats you have to say. It must be rubbish not being able to talk to your peers about your views when this is the time you most need them. Do you have any sort of social life?

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Th0ughtCriminal · 28/04/2019 21:07

2B The stigma around being gay has decreased imo, however it's still there and it's a lot worse for females. If you're a gay male then it's viewed as cool and special - "gay best friend", being "camp" and all that - but if you're a gay female there's still a lot of negativity associated with it.

Plink Definitely. I'd go as far as to say that the majority of "trans/non binary/whatever" kids at my school do it because it's cool. It gets people attention, which they may previously may not have had. There are a few people who do suffer with dysphoria (myself included, but I don't ID as trans), but these people keep a low profile.

Pencils I think it's become more difficult. When all this started there were a variety of different opinions, but now it's everywhere and it's being pushed as fact, so if you disagree you don't just have a different opinion - you're a bigot/inciting violence.

Repeal That's a hard question actually, because I could sit and list everything wrong going on but struggle to come up with viable solutions. However one thing is that I think that teenagers need more reassurance. That it's okay to feel lost, or confused. That everyone struggles with the changes that puberty/growing up brings. That it's okay to not conform to stereotypes. I think this would at least somewhat help people see that they don't need a label or to change themselves.

Time I get homophobic slurs quite a lot. I'm not gay, or bisexual, but people look at me and assume things. If people read me as a girl I get "dyke/lesbo". If people read me as a boy I get "fag". I've also "tranny". In the bathrooms people tell me to get out, or that I'm in the wrong place. People come up to me and ask rude, invasive questions, and there are so many rumours about me that I find it quite funny the stuff people come up with. It isn't just me who gets this - anyone who doesn't look/act "right" gets it. And yes, I have felt/do feel a lot of pressure to ID as trans. I struggle with dysphoria anyway, and it's not easy trying to navigate how I'm feeling/why I'm feeling this way with people incessantly telling me I'm this or that.

Lettera No, not many at all. I could probably list 3 or 4 lesbians off the top of my head. I'm not sure what the answer to that question is from the students, but the teachers promote Stonewall so I'm guessing that they think lesbians should be attracted to transwomen.

nauticant I've never read Lord of the Flies, but I bought it a couple of weeks ago and am planning to start reading it tomorrow. But I'm guessing from the way you phrased that question that the answer will be "yes"?

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OhHolyJesus · 28/04/2019 21:11

I just wanted to say thank you OP.
Thank you for starting this thread, for being brave, for sticking to what you know is true.

From what you've said so far I can only imagine how hard it must be for you to be GC when all that surrounds you is Kool Aid to the core. It just be very hard for you to express any opinions, you must have to be so careful. I'm not surprised you've come hear for some open discussion and conversation!

Your story is what I fear for kids and young adults. You sound like you have a clear mindset and I'm glad that as a gender non conforming young person you are not bowing to pressure and keeping yourself safe in a close-knit group of friends.

If you ever felt you could I hope your story can be publicised further and people can learn from your experiences. Your voice is valid. Stay strong.

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nauticant · 28/04/2019 21:16

Without wanting to sound like I'm lecturing you OP, you might find some interesting parallels when you read Lord of the Flies. Also, in case you've not read 1984, I'd say that's an essential read to get a perspective on what's currently going on. Animal Farm too, but 1984 has the more striking parallels.

None of these are cheery books.

It's great to read your posts and see that critical thinking still has a foothold in sixthformers.

Thanks

Flip

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