I live in Japan - Ask Me Anything

[tanitani]

Moved here two years ago to improve my language ability and be a church volunteer. (They provided my visa)
I teach English as my main job.

Thought it would be just 2 years but ten months in met my future husband and now planning to stay forever.

Not sure if any of this is interesting for people but if you have any questions go ahead!

(Also planning a wedding in another culture - fun and definitely interesting.)

Hi OP
I assume you speak Japanese as you teach English . Just kudos for that alone really , lol I cannot even recall basic French .

The wedding planning sounds interesting . Many years ago now, in social studies, we could choose a topic and mine was Weddings round the World but long forgotten their different customs .

Hi! Actually you don’t need any Japanese to teach English, most teachers can’t speak any!
The language schools and schools work by full immersion - so you just go in and do what you do!

I do speak some and continue to learn - my husband to be and I mostly speak in Japanese. Daily conversation is okay but more deeper conversations are tricky - and doing anything official is a pain! (Think council office, hospital etc)
I’m definitely not 100% fluent and would still consider myself a long way off, but trying!

Yeah there are many basic things in wedding planning that are very different here, the dress, when the kiss happens in the ceremony.
Japanese wedding culture is very different (although once the ceremony starts it’s pretty close) and it’s been interesting as we discover what’s different along the way!

How do you fall in love and marry someone with a significant language barrier?

Not sure how to reply directly but regarding language barriers: That’s a good question! Essentially the barrier pushes you to study harder and that eventually leads to understanding and less of a barrier.

When we first met I could already speak some and had just started private lessons. As we talked every day - combined with the lessons I was taking we could gradually speak more and more.
He is the person I understand 100% - when I meet new people with a different dialect or speaking pattern it’s difficult still. Once I’m used to them, it’s okay.

Initially we could only talk about hobbies, what we did that day but talking to him and wanting to know him more pushed me to study harder to learn how to express myself, and understand him.

Hello there,
Does your fiancé speak English? Are his family accepting of you as a foreigner?.What do you love best about Japan and what do you find difficult?

Good luck with all your wedding plans! Exciting times ahead 😊

will you swap with me?
I want to live in Japan......!

Nosily marks place

I imagine life in Japan to be very gentle and calm. This impression is from the few tv programmes I've seen such as the one where the elderly celebrities went to gain a perspective of retirement.
Are the Japanese as polite and timid as we see on tv? Do they have any anti social problems that we have in the UK?
Can you tell us about your day to day life, what you do on weekends etc.
I'd love to visit Japan one day.

@catwithflowers

Hi! He can speak basic conversation English - he is studying in his spare time as he wants to talk with my parents more and of course I want to switch to English when I’m tired! Lol.

I was really nervous about meeting his family - I had heard horror stories but his family were really accepting and we have a great relationship. Apparently he had always said he wanted to marry a foreigner one day (Hermione in Harry Potter sparked the interest apparently).
His family is very easy going and close, not so strict on some of the usual cultural traditions and I feel very lucky and blessed to have them.
His mum and sister helped me choose my wedding dress!

My favourite thing is the city I live in is SO affordable and you can really have a fun life on a budget.

I’m used to most things now so nothing’s particularly difficult day-to-day but anything at the council office, or anything official is still difficult to get through. The bank is pretty tricky to navigate still!
There is a super polite form of Japanese called Keigo which is difficult to understand but is used in those type of settings.
As you’re a customer they don’t use casual japanese because that wouldn’t be polite, but it’s difficult to process sometimes!

@DeadBod

Ahhh it’s definitely not calm - it’s a very busy place with a very demanding work culture.
Anything with a system works perfectly though! The transport system is so reliable it’s beuaitful - there’s never a delay!

Due to the pressure in society there are social issues like overwork, family life is challenging due to this and if you search hikkomori, sometimes people just shut down and withdraw from society if it’s too much.

That said, Japanese people really are so polite and kind. It’s a very ordered and structured society which has negatives, such as above, but also positives in the fact that things just get done!

At the moment weekends are wedding prep related but me and my fiancée often go for dinner, shopping, karaoke and other things. Karaoke in Japan really is an amazing experience!!

On Sundays we go to church and then often to get food after, or just chill out.

Monday - Friday I work at a few locations teaching English. Having conversations all day is pretty draining so in the evening I’m a Netflix queen!

Also McDonalds delivery here! I do miss oxo vegetable stock though - always ask my mum to send some.
And japanese deodorant does nothing for foreigners! It’s a frequent request in my “care packages”.

@Harriedharriet

Do it! It’s definitely home now and I love it - even though there are negatives, but there are about any country.

Living here is definitely different to holidaying here but it’s a great experience to live in another country and learn another language.

I must admit that my only knowledge of Japanese homes is seen on movies like The Grudge, The Ring etc . Are all houses like that ,with sliding doors inside and do people have beds on the floor as shown on said movies?

What food do you like there apart from McDonalds?!
Do you love the stationery?
Is the deodorant the rock crystal stuff?

Hello there, this has been an interesting morning read thank you. What is your home like? Is it tiny with clever storage? Do you follow Marie Kondo :) Also have you had thr chance to wear a kimono?

@WhentheRabbitsWentWild

Love your username!

The older houses are like that - my fiancée’s grandmother house in the countryside is.
However newer houses will still have sliding doors but will be more modern and not so “grudgy”.

If I remember right after a certain amount of years buildings must be rebuilt or at least carefully maintained - this is quite strict so as to protect from earthquakes.

The toilet is always separate from the bathroom and the bathroom has a drain in the floor - so you can splash water everywhere. The shower isn’t a separate shower how they’re built in the UK. I’m explaining it terribly but if you google it you can see.
Many people use beds but also the futon on the floor - my husband does. It’s way more comfortable than you think - families tend to cosleep until around 10 years old so often they’ll have a big bed on the floor where everyone shares. Then they’ll roll it up and put it away in the morning.

@Noteventhebestdrummer

Oh the food!!! I’m vegetarian which makes things difficult but I love tofu. I love sushi - there are cucumber and egg options and tempura is so tasty!
My favourite meal is called kitsune udon which is noodles in broth with a large slice of fried tofu.
Japanese food is so tasty - and I’ve really got used to having rice with everything. They tend to eat lots of small dishes together rather than one main dish.
Also love something called Miso Kyuri which is slices of cucumber with miso sauce and sesame seeds.

Yes the stationery is adorable!!! Sensible options are also available but I LOVE looking at stationery here.

The deodorant is just really weak here, apparently japanese people don’t sweat in the same way or as much as we do? So it’s fine for them but does nothing for me. Japanese summers are extremely hot so it’s necessary!

@TipseyTorvey

There’s a summer kimono called yukata and the kimono. I’ve worn both and I own a yukata. (It’s just lighter)
The kimono is fairly tight so you have to take small steps - it makes me feel so dainty. I have a picture somewhere.
My home is an older house with 4 floors, a sharehouse which is still unusual in japan. Most people can afford to live alone if they wish.
It’s very cold in winter (no central heating) and hot in summer! When I move to husband’s house he lives in a new build so it’ll be much warmer.
I recently watched Marie Kondo on Netflix! She’s quite a special case but generally japanese homes are very tidy. They’re usually fairly small so storage does have to clever, but Japanese people don’t seem to have as much knickknacks as we do? My friends’ houses do seem neat and tidy - my room not so much.

I should probably add - we’ve process the legal side of our marriage but not had the wedding ceremony yet.
So I keep switching between calling him my husband or fiancée. Sorry if it confused anyone. Definitely only the one person!

Thanks OP

The username . I read a childrens book my then infants DD brought home called Carrot Tops and Cotton Tails . Involves the early "history" of veg and rabbit . Its a great book actually for kids , very funny (well I found it so anyway) so my username is dedicated to said book

Thank you for the info, it's very interesting

@DeadBod No problem!

Hi tanitani

I'm 25 years ahead of you - came to Japan 27 years ago to teach English for a couple of years, met my DH and have been here ever since. There are a few MNers in Japan, we had a thread on the Living Overseas board a while back but its inactive now, I think.

Congrats on the upcoming wedding! very exciting.
Will you wear a wedding kimono as well as a dress?

Oh I lived in Japan in the early 90’s. In Hiroshima-ken in a town that was seen as a little bit inaka.

Loved it, such an amazing place to live. My only regret is not staying longer. Enjoy.

@TanteRose

Oh really? I did wonder if there were any other people there, or international marriages.

I'll just be wearing the dress - was going to do a Kimono for the reception but to save money we decided just to do the dress.
But we will do the traditional photoshoot in kimono after I think!

@Devilishpyjamas Oh great! I'd love to explore more, I haven't been down that way yet. I'm a city girl so live in the one of the larger cities, although not one of the main ones.
How long did you live here?

Yep, I suppose I could try and revive that thread...

do you know about the foreign wives group in Japan? I'll PM you a link if you want

@TanteRose
Oh I don't know __ I do have other foreign wife friends or foreign wife-to-be but only a couple.
Can you speak Japanese too?

yes i have a degree in Japanese and Linguistics, and am a translator & editor by profession.

Will PM you the link for AFWJ (Association of foreign wives of Japanese) - its good for info and meet-up etc.