I'm a traveller- AMA

[Pinkyyy]

I was actually asked on another post to start this thread, I've been debating the idea for a while but usually decide not to because I've seen threads like this turn sour before. Hopefully I can avoid that and actually provide information and educate people on a way of life they may well know very little about.

I invite you to ask any questions you may have, and I will do my best to answer them all honestly. I ask that you don't bother to comment if you're going to bombard me with racism and ignorance. If you'd like to question a common stereotype, by all means go ahead but I will not respond to those who are simply here to be hateful. I also hope you'll respect that I don't like to share too much of my personal details on here, so I'm aiming more to speak about travellers as a a whole and not so much about me personally.

So.... AMA

@romanyroots sorry missed your reply before posting...

He moved about a lot. Australia and back, had a family over there and one back here, I was hoping you’d say yes that’s definitely a gypsy name. It would make so much sense.

It must me a nightmare trying to chase previous generations.

Greensleeves.

YES, here. have seen more, but can't remember where, will look for you.
romanygenes.com/penfoldorchard-fami/4525261773

Greensleves

There are lots in the BMD's at the side. I'm an idiot

No questions pinkyyy I just want to say thank you for such an interesting thread.

Last summer I took my son to the park & there was only one other child there apart from us. I ended up chatting to the mum while the kids played and she mentioned she was a traveller. I didn't ask any questions because I didn't want to be rude but my over riding memory of the encounter was that her dd was much much better behaved than my son who was being an absolute toad that day.

Perhaps someone will be able to answer something for me? In my culture it's seen as rude to ask someone how much something costs, but people (especially teenagers) in yours will often compliment someone on something, then ask how much it cost. Is that socially acceptable? I
OP
This is super rude in my culture. I am shock at people asking others about salaries or how much a house or something is

Ohhhh I have another question OP
You say the children don't go to school, yet you are obviously very good at writing and all

Do they get home schooled? What if they wanted to gain some qualifications in something?

Thank you 😃

@cantkeepawayforever there are definitely now enough sites and that is part of the problem, but some travellers wouldn't live on one even given the opportunity because they love their life on the road. They would more than likely clean up after themselves

@RedrumMurder I have never done an ancestry or DNA test, maybe I will one day it would be interesting

@Greensleeves I've heard of the orchard family, there are some in the south of London

@OutComeTheWolves you are so welcome. I'm sure her little one wasn't so perfect all the time so don't worry, all children play up at times. She wouldn't have minded you asking questions, she would have been happy you showed an interest

@planespotting I'm glad that's the case. Perhaps it's a class thing too? Sorry maybe I wasn't clear in one of my previous answers, but my children do go to school, they are currently in primary school. I think I'll send them to secondary and if they make the decision that they want to leave, then they can. I'd like them to have some qualifications so that they are prepared for whatever direction they want their life to go in

@cantkeepawayforever that should say not enough sites

What a fascinating thread, thank you. I must confess I was very ignorant of all this, and didn't realise how many travellers were "settled". Unfortunately I only have experience of the worst type of travellers who give you all a bad name. Locally we have terrible trouble with them arriving and camping on local greens or car parks, staying until they are eventually legally removed & leaving behind piles of excrement & rubbish. The local shops have to close because the children are all robbing, the local pubs and restaurants close because they refuse to pay. I often wonder why they choose to live this sort of life, it must be no fun at all being hated & forever moved on.
However, thank you (again), for making me realise that not all travellers are like this.
Having said all that, I think it is very hard for other folk to understand the schooling thing, but I do see some of your points.

@Furrycushion you are very welcome and thank you for taking the time to read it. I think there is sadly a very vicious cycle going on where travellers are met with hostility and prejudice wherever they seem to go, so in turn have no respect for the places/people around them. I am sure if you arrived somewhere and met with such a poor welcome that businesses were willing to close, just to keep you out, you would always be able to be the bigger person. I don't in any way condone it but I do try to see more than one side. I'm quite surprised that so many people report finding excrement left behind, because as far as I've always known, those on the road don't do their business so close to their homes.

Wouldn't always be the bigger person*

True, which is kind of what I was saying, it must be awful to feel so unwanted, but then... as you say, maybe a vicious circle.
Definitely human excrement from the ones who visited us. The area around the trees had to be roped off for some weeks. Used nappies too...

@Furrycushion I'd say it's more awful for the ones of us who don't behave in that way, but are still brought down because of the stereotypes that causes.
I'm sure you can agree that it takes a certain type of person to want to live, surrounded by their own excrement and that that certainly isn't the case for majority of travellers

What about diet, is it typically healthy or otherwise or does it really vary with families? Again another thing with the 3 yo boy at ds class, he had a tin of red bull or bottle of pop every week & sweets too.

There seems to be a shame? Of bodily functions, or maybe denial is a better word, e.g. low breastfeeding, no period/cancer talk etc. I was wondering if there was a denial of lifestyle choice affecting health, or maybe a reluctance to see GP with complaints in the community? Is there any belief in herbal or alternative medicine?

Is there a certain distance that road travellers want to toilet from the trailer? Do any that you know of take a portaloo with them? What would happen if a woman was outside in the bushes at the toilet & a man came out?

Sorry, I feel a bit like when my ds went through a phase of talking about pee & poo constantly but it's fascinating. And thank you for all the replies 😁

@buckeejit travellers diet to be honest is awful for the most part. We eat takeaways on a regular basis, and like you said, sweets and fizzy pop are readily available even for children. I find that because they have access to it, they don't pig out or overeat which is why there isn't a huge problem with obesity. Obviously we do cook, but we wouldn't likely prepare a salad and meals are usually more meat and carbs based.
There isn't really a denial of bodily functions, they just aren't openly discussed. People will go to the GP and take medication as normal, I don't believe people are into herbal or alternative medicines.
There isn't really a certain distance away, but unfortunately my experience of life on the road is very limited as I only experienced it briefly as a child so I can't really remember. They don't usually take a portaloo with them though, I'm sure on that.
Don't worry, I did say AMA you're very welcome

Do most travellers only really socialise/work with etc other travellers? I guess the work part you already answered as you've said about most travellers being self-employed, or at least the men. You said a lot of traveller women are employed now - does that tend to be in their husbands/families' businesses, or are they often employed elsewhere? I did read the whole thread but over a few sessions so sorry if I've forgotten and you've already answered my questions .

I feel like I could ask 5 million questions though! I've never really had the opportunity to socialise with a traveller before, unless I didn't realise. I think I'm fairly good at recognising them though due to things like dress and accent and certainly there have been fairly visible Romany and Irish traveller populations in both of the cities and surrounding areas of those cities that I've lived in. But always see them in large groups together socialising - obviously fine and most people socialise with people they have things in common with - but I've never really met one to have discussions with, e.g. at work, in the pub, at uni, or anything, unless I didn't recognise them as such and they didn't mention it, which is also possible.

Pinkyyy, surely your point about poor diet goes some way towards explaining low traveller life expectancy?

I’ve really enjoyed reading this thread Pinkyyy, thank you.
Like many others, my experiences have been pretty diabolical to honest. I had been such a left wing do gooder when I first worked with traveling community but it left me with such a bitter taste in my mouth.
The level of domestic violence was truly astonishing and sadly there was a very high level of sexual abuse against children but the attitude to this was like nothing I had ever encountered before. All hushed up ie used as a flippant insult.
Are either of these things you have seen within your community?

RomanyRoots I think it’s amazing you are taking such an interest in the history and your family sound like really interesting people! I always found it so strange that pride was such a big thing within the communities I worked with yet none of them had any interest in their roots or the history of their families.

Yoga

This perplexed me too, and when I asked was told they don't look to the past.
Christmas Eve mine all take over the village church, there's hardly room for many more people. They never go any other time, but it's when they remember their dead.
I think very similar to the word cancer that they don't speak (I didn't know this), perhaps it's another omen, fear, tradition.
I have no idea what the locals think of them, I'm told the family are held in respect, but I'm in a different area, so not sure.

I do love the history, but have always been interested in social history.
At present I'm learning about Gypsy folklore, this fascinates me and it was great to see I had some colourful character ancestors, documented too.

@RomanyRoots I’ve just started watching a series on YouTube called Gypsey Kids, have you seen it? It’s not at all as “shock tv” as most of the C4 documentaries. Aside from some of the obvious, like education, it seems an enviable and outdoorsy life for children.
There’s a mix of Irish travelers and Romany gypseys and the show goes back and forth, you can really see the difference so it does make a lot of sense of the “ya and them” vibe I was getting from OP.
I’m in Ireland so I do wonder is that why my experience was so negative.

*gypsy

Sorry it's taken me a while to get back to you

@MeadowHay for the most part we only tend to socialise or work with other travellers. Of course the men who work in construction will work on the houses of non-travellers, and they will often employee non-travellers too. Women usually do jobs such as housekeeping, retail etc. Don't worry at all, it's a very long thread!
I do think we are quite easily recognisable, but then I'm not sure whether that's just because I'm a gypsy myself. It's sad that you haven't had the opportunity to socialise with one of us, but like I said we usually mix without our community, for a number of reasons.

@Parthenope that could well be very true. I always thought that our more active lifestyle balanced it out somewhat, but it must have a negative impact at some point

@YogaWannabe you're very welcome and I'm glad you've enjoyed it. It's sad that your experiences have been so bad, and I hope you're able to have some positive ones in the future. I think the domestic violence levels are no higher than in your community, and if a woman ever experiences it she will usually walk away from her marriage and be welcomed home with open arms and lots of support. I'm surprised you mentioned sexual abuse towards children as if any man (or woman) in my community was found to be doing this he would probably be dealt with very severely.

Just to add to your discussion @YogaWannabe and @RomanyRoots people very often don't look to the past which is why I don't know all that much about my heritage. On occasion some of the old people will reminisce about old times, others will walk away as they don't believe in talking about the past. Perhaps this is why some of the traditions are lost in time.

I'm glad you were able to see that there really is quite a divide between Irish travellers and Romany gypsies, I think some people got the impression that I was just using this to blame things on them, when that's really not the case.