I'm a traveller- AMA

[Pinkyyy]

I was actually asked on another post to start this thread, I've been debating the idea for a while but usually decide not to because I've seen threads like this turn sour before. Hopefully I can avoid that and actually provide information and educate people on a way of life they may well know very little about.

I invite you to ask any questions you may have, and I will do my best to answer them all honestly. I ask that you don't bother to comment if you're going to bombard me with racism and ignorance. If you'd like to question a common stereotype, by all means go ahead but I will not respond to those who are simply here to be hateful. I also hope you'll respect that I don't like to share too much of my personal details on here, so I'm aiming more to speak about travellers as a a whole and not so much about me personally.

So.... AMA

@DyslexicNotThick you are very welcome, I can assure you that your colleagues won't take offense to you asking questions, they'll likely be happy you're taking the time to get to know about their life. Usually people will use a family members address for their correspondence if they have no fixed address, but it can be quite difficult.
It is acceptable to claim benefits but usually only women would claim them as men claiming them would be seen as not able to earn a good enough living.
I'd say the main differences between Irish travellers and Romany gypsies would be the fact that Irish travellers tend to have much larger families and also that they tend to encourage their daughters to marry much younger. It's common for Irish travellers to marry at around 16, but Romany gypsies usually wait slightly longer.
I'm glad this thread is helpful for you

@DyslexicNotThick girls hobbies are usually keeping the house/trailer clean, socialising with their friends, shopping and whatever interests they have as an individual. Women fighting is common amongst Irish travellers but most gypsies are brought up to believe that women should not fight and if women have a conflict, their husbands will solve it on their behalf, usually with a fight if it's serious enough

Thank you for this thread. I've worked in a couple of schools with a large cohort of traveller children and they are an absolute delight. Polite, kind, good morals and respectful to school property and other children and adults.

Apols if it's a repeat question.

When you were living in a caravan, did you vote? Were there difficulties in doing so?

We had a large Romany community back in my birth county. My question is, how do the parents who dress their kids in matching outfits every day or like they are going to a wedding every day cope? I saw a Mum out shopping with her her 3 girls all dressed exactly the same, same shoes, same bows, they looked amazing. I’m just amazed at the effort that must go into keeping the kids pristine but I appreciate it’s not for everyone.

Hi OP, this is a really interesting thread and a welcome insight into the traveller community. I have had a few bad experiences and would welcome your comments. Firstly, I'd like to say that there is a permanent traveller community not far from where I live, who keep a beautiful site and have done for many years, all the little ones are settled at the local primary and have made friends. They are every bit part of the community as everybody else which is exactly how it should be. However...I live in an area of green belt that has been regularly visited by passing travellers who have shown nothing short of contempt for the surroundings or indeed residents. When the last visit moved on, as a community we had to remove hundreds of bags of rubbish, used sanpro that had been left unwrapped in the woodland, alongside piles of human excrement and dirty nappies, gas canisters, food waste. There was a burnt out caravan left too. It was horrendous. I don't think anybody had an issue with the community stopping on their travels but I can't find an excuse for leaving anywhere like that, especially in such a beautiful environment. I think what I am saying is, I don't get it? Why would anybody want to do that or think that it's acceptable, particularly if they are simply passing through which is largely the case. When you have a travelling community, does nobody take charge of clearing up or leaving the space as they found it? I am just curious because it's something I really struggle with given the visits we have.

I understand from what I've read hear that celibacy/virginity before marriage is important in the traveller community. Girls in particularly seem to be kept close and protected. In the tv programmes this is emphasised but at the same time the girls were allowed to wear very revealing clothes eg very short skirts, bare midriffs ext. I have also seen this in our town. Is this usual? Does it seem contradictory to expect virginity but at the same time allow them to wear what could be perceived as a quite provocative clothing style?

OP do you prefer living in a house and do you miss trailer living?

I can imagine there is a closeness to living in a smaller space.

I've found this thread fascinating too, thank you Pinkyyy. I, too have wondered about the provocative clothes and also, the very sexualised dancing from a young age. I get that the community are very protective of their girls and women, but it seems odd that it goes hand in hand with sexualised behaviour .

I am a very live and let live person and it's good to read a thread like this and have my opinions challenged because unfortunately I, or should I say my DD, had to cope with a really awful experience by a group of traveller girls, and I'll be honest and say that it coloured my opinion so this thread is welcome. I'm sure the incident was down to the rougher element of the traveller community and it's interesting to hear all the experiences on here and an insight from you Pinkyyy.

@WhyDontYouComeOnOver you're welcome. It's great to know so many people don't have a poor opinion of us

@safariboot I have never voted so I'm not sure on that one, sorry

@2boysnamedR I'm sure if you saw them by the end of the day, they wouldn't be pristine anymore lol. I think it's quite easy to dress children in matching outfits, and they are taught from an early age how to stay clean and behave appropriately

@TheFormidableMrsC I think the best way for me to comment would be to say that you've obviously had both positive and negative experiences with travellers, which shows you that we are not all the same. The poor behaviour you and your community had to deal with was in no way acceptable (and actually very disgusting) but is only the behaviour of a small minority

@shiningstar2 all families have a different outlook on this. Some families make their daughters dress appropriately, others are happy for them to dress provocatively. It's common for Irish traveling girls to wear skimpy outfits and not so common amongst romanies. I do agree it's quite. Contradiction, but I was raised to be not allowed to wear too revealing clothes

@Snog I much prefer living in a house, although it was a strange adjustment. It's a totally different life in a trailer, I don't really miss it as a whole but there are certain aspects I do miss

@Roussette thank you. What's interesting to me is that most of the negative stereotypes are ones that have been placed upon us do to the behaviour of a select few. The sexy clothing and dancing is one of the things that is more related to Irish travellers, and has something to do with appealing to possible husbands- it's not to my taste, but equally the boys will go topless to appeal to the girls. Its very sad that your DD had an awful experience but I would say that young girls of all cultures can sometimes be so mean, it's sad that this encounter tarred your opinion on all travellers due to the actions of a few girls

What a great thread; thank you, Pinkyy!

I originate from the north-east, and it's interesting that some Geordie words apparently have Romany roots - "gadgie" (man, usually oldish) and "charver/chavvy" (lad) in particular.

@FairNotFair thank you, I'm glad you like it! Its amazing how some of our words work their way into other languages. We use chavvy to mean child and also in the way you use it too

Surely any girl or woman can dress how they want, feel comfortable, express themselves how they want and have innocent fun without it being judged as sexually provocative or to entice men? To think otherwise has connotations of victim blaming and the belief that men only have one-track minds and can't control themselves.
Choice of clothing has nothing to do with virginity or an active sex life in any culture.
Young women up and down the country go out clubbing in what can only be described as underwear and should be safe to do so, if anything traveller girls are even safer as when they do it, they're surrounded by friends and family.

Its 'very sad that your DD had an awful experience but I would say that young girls of all cultures can sometimes be so mean, it's sad that this encounter tarred your opinion on all travellers due to the actions of a few girls

You are so right because hang on a minute, it could've been a group of yorkshire girls or London girls or girls from Germany or whatever. So what I'm saying is... you, as part of the traveller community, have to fight against prejudice all the time and if it had been a party of girls from Germany that had done what happened to DD, I doubt I would have stereotyped. Unfair really. Which is why this thread is useful!

The community will not thrive culturally or in any other way
it seems to me that the 'winners' in this type of community are the males who who are towards the top of the hierarchy, they have a large amount of power and control...far more than they could ever get away with in mainstream culture.

Those below them in the hierarchy are all trained and conditioned to support anything which benefits the males at the top

I think the rose-tinted perspective is inevitable, in traditional communities there tends to be a strong sense of loyalty, and so speaking out will be critical in any way would feel 'wrong'

OP has taken the position of advocate, I don't imagine she would want to be a 'whistleblower', any faults lie in the 'bad' part of The traveller community, not the 'real' traveller community

My impression of the traveller community is still pretty negative. I think the issue is that the decent, considerate members of the traveller community won’t stand out as being travellers. The ones we notice are the men who rip off old ladies with dodgy driveway jobs, the ones who leave local playing fields covered in rubbish, the family at Disneyland who pushed in the queue and then forced the ride to stop because they decided to jump off the boat in it’s a small world....

Every community has bad eggs but it seems proportionally there are more with travellers.

Surely the good eggs realise that the bad eggs are really spoiling things for everyone?

the men are very keen to police the behaviour of the women, why don't they police the behaviour of the bad eggs?

Or is it the case that the sense of fear intimidation and threat created by the bad eggs actually gives everyone in the traveller community a sense of status and power?

@BlancheM you are trying to use the beliefs of your culture and force them upon mine, we have a completely different outlook than you on that topic. But yes, girls do feel safe because they are always surrounded by friends and family

@NottonightJosepheen I have actually covered most of the things you mentioned on this thread. I do not think that I am answering this thread with rose tinted glasses, I have been honest and I have often expressed my distaste for some aspects of our lifestyle. Similar to the PP, you are projecting your views onto a community where they simply do not fit and it just comes across as ignorance and unwillingness to get to educate yourself enough to understand it.
The ambitions of travellers appear sad to you, because they are not what you were raised to believe. The ambitions of non-travellers seem sad to me also (spending around a quarter of your life in education for example) but I am not closed minded enough to realise that this is your culture. It is in fact so important that you think without this education, we are doomed to be illiterate, which is not the case.
I would welcome you to show me the evidence to support the claims of mental health problems etc being higher amongst travellers

@Roussette you are exactly right and thank you for opening up. Often we sadly don't even bother to try and change the way people think, because the prejudice is so common that it would consume our entire life

@Wordthe yes, the males are generally on top. But the thing is there is a great balance and the treatment of women does a lot in making us feel equally (if not more) important and valued

@5lnaBed I wonder how you are able to judge the proportion when as you said, you don't notice the 'well behaved' travellers

@Wordthe I don't feel that I am playing advocate at all, and I have actually said negative things about traveller life. I'm not sure why the bad behaviour of certain travellers is our responsibility to fix, any more than the bad behaviour of non-travellers is yours

No I'm not. My culture is irrelevant, not that I've mentioned it.

What part of what I said have you taken the wrong way?