I was a doorstep baby

[doorstep234]

I was left on a doorstep at 3 days old AMA

Who found you? Did they ever trace your birth parents?

I was left on our community ministers door step. I have not managed to trace my biological mother or father. My adoptive parents are amazing.

How do you feel about it?

It was difficult to start with and I struggled. But I firmly believe that it was done out of desperation and love.

when did you find out of were your adoptive parents always open with you?

*or were your adoptive parents always open with you?

How old are you?

is there still a chance of finding your biological parents?

I was made aware I was adopted from around 12 and through lots of questioning my parents eventually told me the truth. They are amazing people and I appreciate that they told me.

I'm my forties. I have tried and done dna testing etc. I'm hoping there is a chance, however it seems likely that one or both are deceased. My birth father might not even have known about me.

Was there anything in the local paper about you? Did you mum leave any keepsake for you, or do you have the clothes you were found in (May have read too many foundling type stories!)

How very brave of you to share this.

Have you ever wondered if you had any siblings? Do you feel you would have benefited from contact with your birth family?

There was a post in our local newspaper, nothing countrywide. And some searches at local hospitals. I have the babygrow and blanket. I believe that she had no other choice or I hope she didn't.

@OurChristmasMiracle I don't feel I have missed out. I had a great childhood and have adoptive siblings. It would be brilliant to complete the puzzle so to speak. But I have had a full and loving life.

Do you have children of your own now?
And if so, did having them stir up any emotions?

I have four gorgeous children. My first pregnancy was difficult. After giving birth and experiencing an overwhelming love, it cemented in my mind that my biological mother must have been desperate and felt she had no other choice. I'm aware that this isn't definitive, the alternative isn't plausible for me. The fact I was left where I would be found by a respected community member also cements this for me.

*it cemented in my mind that my biological mother must have been desperate and felt she had no other choice.

It may not even have been her choice. It’s possible she had no say in what happened to her baby.

I hope you do get some answers though OP. Or at least can make your peace with not finding any x

I have made my peace with my life right now. Any answers will be a bonus. I am grateful for my life with my adoptive parents.

Do you plan to do any more active searching for your parents?

@mnahmnah I have actively searched for 10+ years to no avail. She/they are either dead or don't want to be found. I can't imagine anything worse than finding someone who doesn't want to be found. I have made my peace and I don't want to destroy that for me. I am a firm believer in fate. I would however, like her to know that I have had an amazing life and she gave me the greatest gift.

As the (adoptive) mother of a doorstep baby it heartens me that you sound like you are at peace with your situation. Is there anything you wish your (adoptive) parents had done or said differently or that they did particularly well about explaining and helping you understand your circumstances?

It must have been an emotional 10 years for you! Glad you’ve made your peace.

Drama my parents have been amazing and given me an amazing life. It has taken me a long time to come to terms and accept things. Without them, I do not know where I would have been. I can only thank them for their care and understanding when I wasn't very loving. I completely appreciate their honesty. And I'm sure your child feels it will feel the same xx

Or will feel the same that should have said.

Drama, people like you need so much more recognition. Have your dc searched for their birth parents?

In all honesty there are parts of me who wonder "who am I?"