I have insomnia AMA

[More2Fly]

I can't remember when I last slept for more than 3 hours in a night (maybe 15 years ago?)
I'm permanently exhausted, sometimes to the point of being ill, but somehow survive, and have a job, a marriage, a baby and drive a car. But I sometimes wonder how I'm even still alive 😭😭😭

Do you usually sleep alone?
I am having sleep issues and my partner is with me about a third of the time, I creep around the bedroom but worry about disturbing him.

Well I had it long before I met DH so it affects me alone or sharing (we're together 8 years now). There's 3 of us currently in the room- DH snoring away beside me (which doesn't help but equally I can't sleep on my own either), and our 12 week old baby fast asleep in her cot beside us! It doesn't seem to disturb either of them 😂

Which cures have you tried?

"Cures"..which unfortunately didn't cure:

• Gave up caffeine years ago
• Lavender (drops, oil, spray)
• Calmomile tea
• Cherry juice
• Magnesium supplements
• Valerian and other natural sleep aids
• Sleeping tablets (5 or 6 different varieties I think)
• Hypnosis
• Accupuncture
• Reflexology
• Sleep clinic (hospital)
• Counselling (but nothing on my mind you talk about anyway)
• CBT
• Mindfulness
• Yoga
• Mediation
• Following all the "Sleep hygiene guidelines about dark cool room, no screens etc- I know I'm on it now but I've a bad cold so up blowing my nose all night anyway!)

Have you done the one where you aren't allowed to lie in bed awake? I'd love to try this but would worry about waking everyone else in the house.

Yeah that one was recommended by sleep clinic. Very impractical I agree! I probably didn't stick with it long enough but would sneak out to other room and watch tv/read but I'd still just be sitting there in the morning cold, lonely and depressed

Do you feel angry/resentful about not being able to sleep? I've often wondered how people cope with life when struggling with insomnia.

Without meaning to be insensitive, I sleep easily, deeply and generally without issue. When my sleep is reduced I turn into a tearful mess unable to cope with anything. If my body was not letting me sleep, I imagine I would be very angry, frustrated and just generally miserable.

I also often think I'd be on top of the housework, laundry, life admin so a little part of me is jealous of those who don't need much sleep rather than those who lie in bed desperate to drop off.

Have you tried melatonin. Gives me about 4.5 hours. But takes about a week to kick in.

I find that it is the deep sleep I lack. Usually get 17-21 minutes according to my fitbit.

Though got to the point of utter exhaustion last month and I slept for 8 hours and had 2 hours deep sleep.

I felt I could conquer the world. I flew through stuff I needed to get done and woke up having lost 3 lbs in weight.

If only I could get those 8 hours every night

That's ok dyslexicnotthick I don't think it's insensitive and yes for years I did feel very frustrated, angry and jealous of people who slept well. I used to hate listening to colleagues moaning about how they were sooo tired as they "only" got asleep at midnight or had one bad night. I'd also hate when people would say "i just couldn't survive on that, I just love my sleep". Well guess what, I love my sleep too and you would survive if you had to.
Some of the things that helped me just accept it and let go of the anger, jealousy etc were when I learnt

• Even just lying there resting can help replenish energy
• That the body can adjust to survive on less sleep and it makes the sleep it does get 'high quality/restorative'

The thing with insomnia is you don't get anything done as you are so exhausted

Yeah oliversmum I take it everyday... can't do any harm I guess.
Oh I know what you mean...I once slept like that after travelling 30 hours from Australia (3 flights), awake straight through about 4 days as we had some big nights out before I left. I think I got 6 or 7 solid hours and i felt like i could conquer the world!

Imagine what we could do if we got a decent night's sleep

My worry is that lack of sleep is linked to dementia.

I have had periods of insomnia before but since I went through the menopause it is like my sleep patterns fell off a cliff

Oh god i hadn't even thought about either menopause - hope you're doing ok

I have had to give up work, some days I don't feel safe driving as the world tilts I am so exhausted.

Wish I could take a pill at night and sleep deeply for 8 hours.

GP only print off the sleep hygiene rules from the internet. I think I need HRT.

I want to know if this insomnia is part of going through the menopause will it get better naturally with time

I had insomnia for 20 years. Could go nights with nothing. Usually got 2-3 hours. Then one day I fell asleep and slept 6 hours. The next night8.

Now that's pretty routine.no idea why. I've tried everything under the sun. Just wanted to give you hope that it could change!

I still live in fear of it coming back.

(My favourite thing when pregnant was people saying 'you wait till you have the baby then you'll know what lack of sleep is' Really????? People can be so ignorant about insomnia and think it's just not sleeping very well.

Yeah GPs can't do much except give you 'sleep tips' and pills. I think it could be a symptom for you Oliversmum - maybe it will settle with time?
Wow that's amazing miltonkeynesmummy that it suddenly went by itself! Yeah I got that too while pregnant.. on the plus side the night feeds are a doddle as I'm awake anyway!

Do you drink wine ? Because that gives me insomnia and the people I know that drink a lot are the same but won't admit it's the wine . I think it's deceptive because it knocks you out but then you wake up after a few hours and can't get back to sleep .

I don’t drink. I have never drunk.

Sometimes I think if I did I could drink myself in to a coma and wake up 10 hours later feeling great it would be good but most likely I would have a stinking hangover and be in the same position

hendricksy yeah that's a good point (for me anyway).. I used to drink wine to try and sleep but if it knocked me out I'd be awake an hour later. Throughout the pregnancy I didn't drink of course but then hormones, discomfort etc probably took over anyway and reduced my sleep to 1 hour a night.
I haven't drank since LO was born (3mths) and I really thought she might tire me to the point of sleeping but no

Does nitol work for you? Dh takes t to combat jet lag when he travels and he is out for the count .. not sure what the implications of it long term are but be nice to get a good night here and there .

Are you actually me op? My insomnia is currently at an all time peak and has been since March. Not more than two hours sleep together since then.
I am so so tired.

hendricksy with insomia it might give you an extra half hour but ultimately nothing works.

You go around knackered all day then get into bed . At best you fall asleep after taking your melatonin or Valerian then wake for example 3 hours later. You are still knackered but you can't fall asleep again. Then your day begins. You wander around like a zombie completely knackered before taking Melatonin or Valerian or whatever pills you use to get that extra 1/2 hour then you wake 3 hours later.

It is absolute torture and not helped by people suggesting a drink mid morning to perk you up.

If you don't take your sleeping aids you are probably on more like 90 minutes sleep.

You have to be careful with nightol it is not meant to be a regular thing. I am sure I read somewhere that it contained something that was detrimental as a lon g term sleep aid