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AMA

I breastfed my child til she was 6yr old AMA

183 replies

needmoresleepnow · 05/09/2018 19:25

DD was breastfed til she was 6. Ask me anything Smile

OP posts:
needmoresleepnow · 06/09/2018 07:11

amazing me too Grin but TBH this has always been the case generally in real life so it's nice to know it's not just because people are scared to challenge me in real life Grin

OP posts:
needmoresleepnow · 06/09/2018 07:13

farout the tooth decay is a topic I have seen a few times and the general consensus is that it not caused by BF but there are mixed opinions and experience on it.

Well done on getting to 4.5yrs!

OP posts:
Lalalalalalaland · 06/09/2018 07:28

Did you have a definite last feed.

My daughter weaned herself just before her 2nd birthday and I always feel sad that I didn't cherish that last feed if that makes any sense!

needmoresleepnow · 06/09/2018 07:30

lala no we didn't it just stopped gradually until I thought oh she's not asked for ages!

OP posts:
StinkySaurus · 06/09/2018 09:11

Hi OP, this is a fab thread to read. I’m a ftm and my current aim is to last to at least a year and then see how it goes from there.

My LO doesn’t have teeth yet.... how did you cope when they arrived?

Also you mentioned it was good with helping with toddler tantrums... how?

Thanks!

oldgimmer78 · 06/09/2018 14:00

oldgimmer Not sure why that made you shudder...

It made me shudder because my dc's adult teeth are all quite big and the thought of them being anywhere near my nipple is enough to make me shudder. I obviously don't care what you do with yours though!

RightyHoChaps · 06/09/2018 14:18

@whyisntgeorgecalledpeteror

We could apply that logic to lots of things though. We eat unfertilised chicken ovulations for instance. How bloody weird.

Ironically, cows are quite happy to be milked. Their udders get very full so they are quite relieved when they're milked (speaking as a daughter of a farmer, who has not once referred to the pumps as 'rape racks Confused)

NiamhNaomh · 06/09/2018 14:35

Rightho speaking as someone who often had to milk themselves, as I was back at work before weaning, I think I speak on behalf of every cow Grin everywhere in saying you’d rather it was the calf that was pumping the milk out of you and not a machine.

Intensive milking is not something cows would introduce if they ruled the world. Grin

RightyHoChaps · 06/09/2018 15:41

@NiamhNaomh

This is true Grin I was of course being a little tongue in cheek with my post.

Maybe PraiseBe needs to be campaigning for calves not to be separated from their mother calves? I must admit I hated that when I was living on the farm... both mum and baby cow cry for each other. Escaped cows are often looking for their little ones Sad

BogstandardBelle · 12/09/2018 07:43

My understanding is biologically, the naturalweaning age of human primate infants is probably somewhere between 4-7yrs, probably closer to the older age.

If a mother or child wean before that age (before the immune system is fully developed, before meat chewing molars have come in) then it’s for cultural reasons. It’s because we’ve invented farming and formula and fridges and routines and “me time” and girls nights out and capitalism and shopping and hobbies and “keeping up with the Jones’” and cities and individualism and fashion and two-income households and standards of living and consumer durables and a million other cultural (not biological) practices that go against natural term bfing.

None of these things are bad (or good) as such - but they represent a cultural norm, not a biological one. Human milk is always an appropriate source of nutritional for human children: it’s our culture that sees it as “icky” or not necessary beyond what we see as babyhood.

So it comes down to personal choice, since we have so many alternatives.

I bf mine to 3 and 4yrs, we weaned earlier than natural term because I was done! That was my choice, made in the knowledge that we have access to good quality food, refrigeration, clean drinking water etc. They would happily have carried on, but I made the choice to stop.

StinkySaurus · 12/09/2018 08:44

@Bogstandardbelle were you able to have nights away from your DC while you were breastfeeding?

BogstandardBelle · 12/09/2018 09:24

Yep... I didn’t choose to when they were really small as ds fed all night and I couldn’t be faffed starting expressing. But after 18 months or so I could be away for 2-3 nights and they’d just pick up where they left off. But tbh I didn’t need to - was a SAHM for several years, and my social life didn’t really involve many overnights away.

I’d probably add “mother and baby being apart from each other” to the list of cultural, not biologically normal, behaviours that we have adopted ;-)

StinkySaurus · 12/09/2018 09:45

That’s really interesting. So at 18 months you could be gone for 2 days and nights not have to feed but your babies would be fine and you could just start up on your return? Really good to hear that that’s an option!

Lessstressedhemum · 12/09/2018 11:52

Stinky, that's absolutely the case. By the time the wee ones are eternal 18 months and 2 years, bf is so well established that a couple of days break makes no difference to your supply. When I stopped nursing, after 17 years of continuous feeding, it literally took months before my body stopped producing milk. All my kids naturally weaned, the youngest was around three and a half or so, the oldest around six and a half. I was actually shocked when DD decided she'd had enough so much younger than the rest!

StinkySaurus · 12/09/2018 12:47

@Lessstressedhemum wow 17 yrs!!!! Did you go to work while breastfeeding? Did that affect it? Also can your 6.5 year old remember? Do they ever talk about missing it?

Sorry for all the questions , I love the idea of natural weaning but know no one in real life who breastfeed past 8 months! X

Lessstressedhemum · 12/09/2018 13:09

Yes, I worked, sometimes full time sometimes part time, but no itdidnt affect the breastfeeding. My kids are all grown up now, Ds1 is 28 and Ds4, the youngest, almost 16. They can remember but it's not Somerset usually talk about, except that they ate all in favour of bf for their own kids should they have any.

BendingSpoons · 12/09/2018 17:31

I've been following this thread but haven't commented yet. Wanted to add my experience in case it is useful for people like Stinky.

I am currently feeding DD 2.5 generally once a day. I've been back at work 3 days since she was 9 months. She was a bottle refuser but had solids, a bit from cups and fed when I was home. I night weaned at 11 months and deliberately cut to 2 feeds a day at about 15 months. I have been away for the odd night (haven't wanted to be away for more) but have sometimes gone longer between feeds when she hasn't wanted to feed e.g. when we had guests staying she was too excited to feed. It is definitely possible to put restrictions on feeding to make it work for you and allow you to carry on feeding longer if that is what you want. I think sometimes there is this idea/concern that if they keep feeding you have to keep following a baby pattern. I am also pregnant again and now contemplating tandem feeding. DD hasn't weaned yet (20 weeks) so we will see what happens!

stargirl1701 · 13/09/2018 07:14

I would say the years after DD2 turned 2 have been the easiest for bf. No night feeds, very stable supply so can away for up to 3 nights/4 days with no uncomfortable engorged feeling, etc.

It makes all the hard work in the beginning really worth it.

StinkySaurus · 13/09/2018 13:59

Thanks guys! Great to hear what it’s like in the toddler years and beyond. Fingers crossed we make it that far!

NiamhNaomh · 13/09/2018 19:23

Stinky I worked from when DS was 5 months. I pumped before I went back and had a pretty decent stash but as it turned out he reverse cycled. They are such clever little beings. He never really took much during the day. After a few months I left half a premade bottle of formula and solid food with his cm because he really didn’t touch milk during the day so there was no point in pumping anymore and he fed through the night. At 16 or so months I night weaned and he fed twice a day and weekends more after that.

I spent so long trying to figure out how it would all work out when we were apart and he figured it out in a few hours. It did help that his cm was an avid breastfeeder and had no concerns about not having a tonne of bottles for such a small baby.

Sleeplikeasloth · 17/09/2018 17:39

Couple of questions here:

  1. given you say that you don't k ow how you'd have got through toddler years without 'boobie', do you think it led to some lazy parenting? Ie if you were using bf to diffuse situations, tantrums etc, rather than having to think about how to best parent to stop it.

  2. you mention feeling touched out, and you became a single parenthood in toddler years. Did your decision to extend breastfeeding contribute do you think? Ie if you had to sleep apart to help facilitate co-sleeping, if it had an effect in intimacy/sex/just time spent together.

Booboostwo · 17/09/2018 21:30

What a bizarre way to frame your first question sleeping! Why would it be lazy to stop tantrums by bf? Why isn’t bf to stop tantrums part of best parenting strategies?

Your second question is inappropriate as well as judgemental. Did you mean to be so rude or is it something that comes naturally to you?

chequeplease · 17/09/2018 21:41

I just wanted to say well done OP! It's good to have this discussion as there are so many preconceptions and a strong stigma.

If people are interested look into Mongolia and their breastfeeding culture. Most mothers feed until 6/natural weaning age there, and it's completely accepted. It's sad how the western world has such skewed views on breastfeeding here.

Aintnothingbutaheartache · 17/09/2018 21:56

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kaytee87 · 18/09/2018 08:16

1) given you say that you don't k ow how you'd have got through toddler years without 'boobie', do you think it led to some lazy parenting? Ie if you were using bf to diffuse situations, tantrums etc, rather than having to think about how to best parent to stop it.

Like distraction, food, a dummy etc or anything else parents use to stop toddler tantrums? Is that lazy parenting?

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