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AMA

I'm a surrogate - AMA (if it hasn't been done before?!)

55 replies

MinecraftMother · 30/08/2018 21:23

So, ask away! If you like, whatever...

OP posts:
MinecraftMother · 31/08/2018 23:20

Too kind, too kind!

You are very welcome and I truly hope you find your matches soon, all x

OP posts:
PerfectlyPosed · 01/09/2018 07:29

How do you find a match? Do you sign up to an agency? Is there an approval process for both the parents and the surrogate?

MinecraftMother · 01/09/2018 08:19

I didn't know the parents prior to the surrogacy.

I thought about egg donation but didn't like the thought of it.

So my thoughts strayed to surrogacy.

I did a shit-ton of research. I met IPs and surrogates. I read and read and read. Books. Articles. Forums. I went through it with my husband piece by piece.

Once I knew I wanted to do it I got in touch with COTS and surrogacy UK. I spoke with them at length (they are the ones that put me in touch with the IPs and surros).

I joined COTS and then things get started, they send you profiles of parents and you choose one set to work with.

In the meantime I was on the Facebook groups. I matched independently in the end via the groups with John and Anne (not their real names). We spent a long time (9 months) 'dating' as couples, if that makes sense?

Then they joined COTS too once we officially matched so that they could see us through the process. Most importantly they provide the agreement (like a contract but not enforceable) and sit down with you all and take you through it step by step. It throws up issues you
Might not have though of such as abortion, expenses, contact, the birth etc etc.

These days (old gimmer alert) surrogates match Uber quickly and this is a massive mistake, I believe. They also don't think about agreements etc. I think this is because they are on this pink cloud of happiness and they don't want practicalities to bring them down (can you spot I'm a lawyer?!).

So I didn't start out doing it for friends but in the end that's exactly what happened.

We're seeing them all next week actually and I cannot wait.

OP posts:
heartsease68 · 01/09/2018 22:21

minecraft

I would have instinctively agreed with you that quick matches are a bad idea. But on the facebook groups I have seen so many long-standing friendships fall apart unexpectedly while quick matches between alert, intelligent couples are happily done and dusted in a year. Sometimes extending the matching time seems to ramp up the emotional intensity.

MinecraftMother · 02/09/2018 00:54

Yes I suppose it just comes down to the individuals concerned.

OP posts:
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