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Original poster

I was an obese child

38 replies

Singingtherapy · 21/08/2018 17:06

Around 10 stone by the time I left primary school. This was despite my mother's best efforts. I have a huge amount of sympathy for overweight children and their parents as it's so much harder to control than people think. Ask away

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ASAS · 21/08/2018 17:09

What meals did you eat at home? What snacks did you eat? What do you feed your child if you have one?

kalinkafoxtrot45 · 21/08/2018 17:10

How is your weight now?

I was an obese child too, but went through puberty very early and ended up pretty much my adult weight and build by the end of primary.

vitaminC · 21/08/2018 17:11

Do you feel any resentment towards your parents for allowing you to end up in that state? Or for not doing anything about it sooner?

Original poster
Singingtherapy · 21/08/2018 17:16

My mum cooked from scratch every night. All healthy stuff. We did have a small chocolate bar or pudding most nights, generally something light like half a banana with a scoop of ice cream. It didn't seem any different to how my friends ate.

I'm overweight now and really struggle.

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Original poster
Singingtherapy · 21/08/2018 17:19

I have 2 teenagers, they're both a healthy weight although dd2 is at the top end of normal. My biggest wish for them was always that they'd escape what I went through. I watched their diet very closely when they were little but never made an issue about it and never ever mentioned if I thought they'd put on weight.

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Original poster
Singingtherapy · 21/08/2018 17:24

My mother did everything that so called experts would advise. Cook healthy food, sign me up for exercise activities, explain to me that she was not letting me have seconds because I was too fat already. It made me eat in secret. So I don't resent my mother. I blame the widely held myth that children don't need psychological support in addressing their eating habits.

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NotTheWayISeeIt · 21/08/2018 17:35

That's really heavy. Were you physically fit? Why is it that you think you were overweight?
Did you have snacks in the house?

MrsGrindah · 21/08/2018 17:40

Oh God OP me too. And it’s really not as simple as most people think. But I think I was quite a lazy child , and parents were busy working so didn’t but have time to “ make” me active. We ate an excellent diet though , but on reflection my portions were too big. I still carry all the trauma and stigma with me though and have been a yo-yo dieter all my life. Currently 10 pounds overweight but that’s mainly due to starvation. God knows what size I’d have been if McDonald’s etc existed when I was a kid!

NotTheWayISeeIt · 21/08/2018 17:42

What food did you eat in secret?

MongerTruffle · 21/08/2018 17:45

I was 90kg/14st when I was 14, so I too understand how difficult it is. I went down to a healthy weight in four months through what would now be called a keto diet.

Original poster
Singingtherapy · 21/08/2018 18:18

What food did you eat in secret?

Chocolate bought with my pocket money, other people's leftovers when no one was looking, as much as I could persuade friends and family to serve me when I was eating outside the house, snacks which my friends brought to school but didn't want.

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Original poster
Singingtherapy · 21/08/2018 18:28

were you physically fit? Why is it that you think you were overweight?

No I was hopelessly unfit.
I truly believe I had something resembling an eating disorder from a very young age. I craved food literally all the time. That's what makes me sympathise with parents who do their best but don't know how to help the child themselves. The notion that behind every fat child is a parent serving up pie and chips every night is a myth as far as I'm concerned.

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zzzzz · 21/08/2018 18:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Singingtherapy · 21/08/2018 19:00

zzzzz bear in mind it was the 70s (I'm 50 now). The norm, if my friends' families were representative, was a home cooked meal followed by a typical 70s pudding. Arctic roll, angel delight, tinned fruit and ice cream. Only a small portion, probably around 150 calories.

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kalinkafoxtrot45 · 21/08/2018 21:42

Were you expected to clear your plate?

MrsGrindah · 21/08/2018 21:45

Me too! I’m 48 and recognise that diet.. good home cooked food but always a little treat and generous portions!

MrsGrindah · 21/08/2018 21:45

Oh yes you had to clear your plate to be deemed “ a good eater”

dontbringmedown · 21/08/2018 21:47

Were you the only fat child in the class? (in the seventies to be overweight wasn't the norm)
Were you teased and bullied because of it?

MrsGrindah · 21/08/2018 21:48

I remember Mum , bless her, putting us all on a diet of only salads but they were the most luxurious salads ever! With plenty of bread and butter to fill us up “ but it’s granary bread!” Even so I remember losing half a stone...

MrsGrindah · 21/08/2018 21:49

Sorry OP..didn’t mean to take over your thread!

user1494670108 · 21/08/2018 21:56

You sound like my kids now, top end of healthy on a good month but generally they both are overweight. Despite home cooked food, best efforts at portion control and keeping them as fit and active as I can.
At the same time I try not to make a big deal out of it, it's a complete and utter minefield

zzzzz · 21/08/2018 21:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Titsywoo · 21/08/2018 22:08

My son is leaving primary school at around the same weight. There was a year when he was definitely overeating and I do blame myself for not being stricter but I had my own issues (parents who used to bribe and shame me into losing weight from the age of 11) and didn't want him to end up with the same issues I do. My DS is also very inactive. He is autistic and dyspraxic and hates most physical activity. He is obsessed with food but eats a great variety and is probably healthier than his thin sister who hates most veg. He is growing into his weight now and I hope he gets to a more normal weight by the end of puberty. I do push him to exercise now and watch what he eats. He actually eats a lot less than his friends but the inactivity makes it harder.

I'm sorry you are still struggling with your weight. I am convinced there is a genetic element to the weight issues. My brothers were both skinny but I was chubby until just after puberty. All the women on my dads side of the family are. I still have issues with my weight now and am currently obese. DD looks more like DH and has his long legs, DS looks like me and has my figure (but in a boy way!). I think he has my fat genes. I know it sounds like an excuse but I do believe it. It doesn't stop me limiting his intake though - I know being fat isn't great. There's a fine line when it comes to helping someone get to a healthy weight and not damaging their self-esteem.

I hate the threads on here saying it is child abuse and being horrified at fat kids. We aren't all idiots who feed our kids McDonalds and coke all day long. It isn't always that simple. Some of us are trying our best.

OhWifey · 21/08/2018 22:09

My almost five year old is 40kg. She's a medical mystery on many levels; lots of stuff going on with her brain, joints, muscles, cognition. Part of what's going on in her brain is life threatening but it's the obesity that keeps us awake at night. There's absolutely nothing we can do to prevent the gain (top consultants in agreement) except the obvious of v healthy diet, small portions etc. I have two questions:

  1. How can we prevent her from having food issues and secret eating when we have to work so hard to limit calorie intake?
  2. How can we bear support a high self esteem to develop? This is our number 1 priority.
She has a cracking personality. We are hoping this will carry her, but socially she's completely at sea with other children.
Original poster
Singingtherapy · 21/08/2018 22:31

Went out for a couple of hours and came back to some really interesting posts. It's such a complicated issue.
I can't remember if I was actually told I had to clear my plate. It wasn't an issue because I always cleared it without being told to!

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