My child is considered an outlier AMA

[RomanyRoots]

I know he/she (which I will alternate) is talented, but have been told this only recently.
Be kind please and AMA

here

I do encourage them to be well rounded, I try hard to keep feet on the ground, and make sure siblings, dh, and extended family do too.

I can't report that it makes much difference though, although the resilience is there already. e.g if he/she isn't chosen for something at school, like a particular slot to have their concerto featured, or audition, or winning a competition, or their composition played by one of the orchestras etc. I think resilience is easy to find in these types of school.
You go in realising there are people better than you, older, more experienced, more talented at certain things.
It's like a boot camp in a way.

I am proud, but not the innate part of the ability, but the hard work, determination, motivation, and dedication.
I struggle after concerts when people say "You must be proud" or the worst "well done" Don't tell me, all I've done is support, tell the child.

BrieAndChilli: yes, with practice the time deaf can become averagely competent, as your results (averagely competent for a school level musician) show.

You won’t get anywhere near a being able to play for a professionL orchestra if you are tone deaf.

There is evidence that it is hours of practice that makes the dufference between a talented musician and a world class First Violin or concert pianist but yes, there is such a thing as talent.

How pissy and grudgey this thread is. My greatest pleasure in watching the Royal Wedding was listening to the extraordinary young cellist. and it is brilliant to know that talented, hard working younger musicians have his heels in sight. The OP’s child is working extremely hard for what they aim to achieve, and deserves cheering on.

The OP comes from a musical family. She will be well aware of the challenges.

"the child is thinking about dominating in a particular way, not at all like Alma, above."

Not like Alma? If it's not in composing or performing music, like Alma, which "particular way" is left to "dominate" the world of music?

This is not an AMA. You don't say anything other than that your child has amazing talent and a works hard. (Not on performing or composing?!)

Well, bravo. Is there going to be any real exchange of information here, or shall we all go home?

cote
which "particular way" is left to "dominate" the world of music?

Definitely performing, composing, arranging etc.
There's more to music than Alma is doing, there are different genre's, instruments, styles within the different genre's.
I think it's great that musicians don't all follow in the same style.
Mine has written works that her peers have performed, they like to do this in their spare time.
I think Alma is very talented and amazing, I have seen the youtube clips before.

“or shall we all go home?”

I think you should, Cote.

Some people have asked questions that interest them and been given answers.

Others have bitched and carped and generally poured rain on the OP’s parade.

OP: how did your child profess from ‘normal’ school to specialist? Was the ‘normal’ school provision of any help or support at all?

I held a Junior sporting record for a few years, competed at national level. School, even a good school with proper facilities, just couldn’t give the right support. School sport served to help me keep fit but was no assistance to skill or the specialist coaching needed. I see the same in the serious musicians at my kids school.

Sorry that sounded a bit snippy, wasn't meant to.
I am off now as he/she has just finished practice for the day and i made him promise I'd do something with them.
I'll come back later, if anybody has got an AMA.
Otherwise, thank you to those who had questions to ask, or comments to make.

OP, I’m not sure you are doing a good job of disguising whether your child is a he or she. Unless you are doing a clever double bluff 🤔

my child is crap at maths, as am I, it must rung in my family AMA

It wouldn't do any harm for us to be kind on this thread. CAHMS referrals are not easy to get and long term involvement is a concern.

Good that the OPs child is at a school now where she is happy and doing well, good that the OP is proud. No need to be snippy about semantics or the wisdom of the thread.

"Good that the OPs child is at a school now where she is happy and doing well, good that the OP is proud. No need to be snippy about semantics or the wisdom of the thread."

Yes, great. Where's the AMA, though? OP isn't prepared to tell us anything about the child, his (her?) talent, what they do, how they do it. or anything else, it seems.

Both of my children were picked up for musical talent at the age of 5 and educated in a special class linked to the conservatoire for exceptionally musical children all through primary school. I would be very interested to learn about OP's child's superlative talent and how it's cultivated.

But OP doesn't want to say anything about "the child", so how is this an AMA?

“what they do, how they do it. or anything else, it seems. “

Yes, she has.

Cote: so has your musically gifted child got an award at the level of the OP’s child? If not, Why not?

Quite. It’s hardly like the op was buttonholed as she walked along the street minding her own business.
She started the thread!

If not, why not?? What on earth?

Threads evolve. I don't think the OP intended to be so cagey with her info. It clearly isn't AMA because there's a need for anonymity apparently, it's still been interesting.

Hi, I did start the thread in all earnest tbh.
I've seen numerous threads where people have asked for support with their G&T child, especially the behaviour side of things.
They usually attract some of the comments I have, but in the whole the threads seem to give nothing helpful.

The word outlier was used on dc report, it was meant as a positive, encouraging point due to the dc performances and additional work throughout the year.
I'm made of strong stuff though, and would still like to either help or pass on any small amount of wisdom I've gained over the years, to those who are interested.

Cote I'm sorry if you feel I haven't answered your questions, apart from giving away my child's instruments I thought I'd been pretty forth coming. My dc plays a couple of woodwind instruments, violin, voice, lute, and piano.
Not all to the same standard, some are just played for fun, in free time and dc doesn't own all of the instruments.

Maliali.
My dc peers are from all over the world, quite a few Asian, some from Europe, American etc.
I don't worry, not because I think my dc is better than them but because I know that as long as they are happy it doesn't matter what they end up doing.
My dc doesn't seem worried at all, perhaps the illusion of world domination is a way of not being concerned, I'm not sure.

"Cote: so has your musically gifted child got an award at the level of the OP’s child? If not, Why not?"

Possibly because we don't live in the UK and there is no such thing as "MDS Award" here.

Their musical talent was picked up at nursery at the age of 5 and their primary school education at the special music school was completely free of charge. (Google says that is the point of MDS in the UK - to grant funding to musically gifted children).

OP - If you feel up to answering some questions:

• When was your child's talent picked up?

• What were the signs?

• What does your child do now that it extraordinary in the field of music? (Aside from playing different instruments)

• What is the musical education like? How many hours of what does he study? ( Singing, theory, composition, various instruments)

• Does he have absolute pitch?

• Does he take improvisation lessons?

• How does he feel/act when faced with criticism of his music? Does he believe each piece is perfect as he composes it or is he open to improvements?

• Is there one specific genre or period of music (Baroque, Classical, Jazz, etc) that he is especially obsessed with, even to the point of not wanting to do any other kind of music? Or is he equally interested in all/many kinds of music?

Cote

Yes, you are completely right, it's a completely different system.
My dc was on the G&T list during early primary, but it doesn't mean the same in our schools.
It's nothing like the level associated as G&T to attend a specialist school.
However, school were aware of the fact, but there was little they could offer us.
So dc was taught by dh for a while and other teachers for other aspects/ instruments.
At 11 dc wanted to audition for the school and was successful.
The MDS is exactly how you say, it's a musical education for talented, gifted, dc with potential (however, you want to phrase it) irrespective of family income. The fees are paid on a sliding scale dependant on family income.
I did say this upthread though, for anyone who missed it.

What in Christ’s name is this thread?

AMA my child can play the piano... about as interesting as...
AMA my child can draw an excellent frog.

What questions are you expecting?

Cote

I'll answer what I can, but it is so easy to identify these children by what they do, I'm certainly open to a pm though for anything I can't answer on here. I did think the questions would be different to some asked, so admit to being ill prepared for this.

1. From an outside pov it was primary school singing in church, nobody has ever said dc has perfect pitch, so i don't think so.

I'm not sure if absolute pitch is the same.

We knew dc was good at this stage though, because they were always looking for instruments to play, wouldn't play with toys and seemed on a different planet to peers at school and siblings. We didn't think gifted though, just different.
School said they would sing and hum during class, we all thought was naughtiness, but dc said helped concentration.
I suppose other indicators were seeking out musical programmes on tv and fighting with siblings over the remote. would sooner listen to The Proms, Young musician, musicals, and documentaries.
Has always hated pop music, and would tell us off if we tried to put it on.

Then dc started playing violin with a teacher from the LA, a peri.
grade 3 within 6 months. No great achievement if you practice for up to 2 hours a day, even at 6.5 years old.

The same with singing, grade two without so much as a lesson, then started lessons and by 8/9 was grade 4 standard, distinction.

Then came the main woodwind instrument, took grade 4 within a few months. Once you get to this level on one instrument as you know it's easier musically for additional instruments.

number 3 may have to be a pm, sorry.

The education is amazing, I love how they manage to make individual programmes for the dc.

The school day varies quite considerably but ito individual instrumental lessons they have 1.5 hours per week on first/ joint study, 30 mins on second study, which for most is Piano. Then an additional 30 mins if they have a third study.

sorry, will be back, small family emergency.

Ask me anything. By pm only.

Thanks for answering Romany. You have a very positive attitude which will be a great help no matter what your DC ends up doing. As you say, if they’re happy that’s what matters. I really hope they do end up having the career they really want and are working so hard for.

Thanks Maliali.

There are a lot of people wanting to enter the industry, many will have to settle for second best, I'm aware of this as I know Musicians at all levels, doing lots of different work.
Dc is very lucky to come from a musical background, and it have been part of their culture from birth. I can remember asking the midwife about noise from loud acoustic instruments, because they went everywhere with us.

Cote, apologies.

In addition to the individual instrumental lessons, some depending on programme will have an individual harmony lesson (mine does) some also have improvisation classes, mine has been studying improvisation from about 6, not formally but asked lots of questions and started taking an interest. Has played with many leading Jazz ensembles and Musicians, due to family connections, being there and being ready if asked.

The academic school day is between 9am and 4.30pm, they have a long lunch to eat, perform, chill, homework, fit in an ad hoc thing like school photo's, medical appointment, interview for school, Alex tech, audition, just normal stuff.
They take 8 GCSE's and 2 /3 A levels, Music obviously compulsory at both levels.
I can't tell you how many hours they spend at each subject but I 100% know that it is the min requirement to study that subject.
Parents should know this when their dc start the school, I found out from the website.
Throughout the day they can have an academic lesson followed by a musical activity, or lesson, or class. There are compulsory choirs for all children just whole year for those who don't want to sing. The others can have school year, lower school (7-9) middle (10 -11) and 6th form
There is a chamber choir, concert choir, various ensembles for singers.
Mine does about 3 iirc.
Theory classes aren't compulsory after grade 5, some continue if it's necessary, but theory is embedded into every ensemble rehearsal of which there are many. These are either during the day or alternated with prep during the evenings.

Preferences with mine varies a lot. Many dc play an instrument and want to gain a place in an orchestra or be a soloist, or be a singer, mine hasn't decided yet.
Obviously you would think main instrument, but if they are equally good at two and enjoy different genres, it can be more tricky.
Mine varies also depending on what they are working on at that time.
They can think they are 100% going towards this, tell you about their future lifestyle, not in a dreamy way, but this is what is happening, planned in detail.
Then next year something could happen, some opportunity that makes dc think that this is also as good as the feeling of performing for the last thing.
Didn't always take criticism well, but with age and experience it isn't an issue now and just part of dc daily routine at school, and can see the importance of listening.

This has been a fascinating thread, thank you for starting it.

It's been a very interesting window into the mindset of very talented students- it sounds like your son/dd is both talented, works incredibly hard (puts in the hours) and has immense self-belief. There's no reason to think that can't translate into a successful, even exceptional career. I've also noticed that people at this level of success are often quite good at being adaptive if they need to be, and just swap to becoming vaguely obsessional about their next new goal- so if your child can't be a world famous musician, then they may modify this dedication in a different area- some sports people can swap between sports and become world class in the second one. I have a friend who dropped out of conservatorie and became highly achieving in their second career very quickly so they are now 'world-renown' in their field in a different way.

Without huge self-belief (as well as doubts etc) you aren't ever going to sell out a concert hall.

Indeed, some might say those with huge self-belief and contacts/immense work ethic often do well, even in classical music- there are plenty of examples of musicians who are not, to my mind, the best of their generation but their combination of self-belief and moderate talent and immense work and luck propels them forward (Russell Watson or even Lesley Garrett for example).

One thing I don't get from your thread is to what extent you and your husband who is a musician propelled your child forward, or did they just propel themselves forward with their interest/dedication. It's interesting that your child didn't start training in, say, the piano til later than a lot of children start, which suggests it was not coming from you and you weren't drilling them in the violin or whatever from the age of 3!

Your child is an outlier- and people won't react well to that, unless of course they become successful in which case everyone will be saying they always believed in them and how amazing they always thought they were.

I wish you the best with it all.