I'm a radical unschooler AMA

[OutOfControlSpirals]

I'm a radical unschooling mum, which basically means I've taken the principals of unschooling, where a child is free to learn what they want, when they want, and applied it to every aspect of our lives. So my children have the same freedoms that I do when it comes to eating/sleeping/learning etc.

[SoyDora]

However, you can't deny that saying "because I said so" is a hell of a lot easier than taking the time to listen to your child, understand where rget are coming from, help them to identify their emotions, and work together to find a solution that works

Well yes, you’re right, I imagine it is. I have never said that to my children though. I also take the time to listen to my child, engage with them, work through emotions and find solutions. You seem to be implying that people who don’t parent like you don’t do these things?

[Cutietips]

I agree with user; I don’t think my children would have been motivated the way yours were. But it sounds to be working for your family.

I think it might work for them if they decide to do work where their time is governed by themselves (freelance, self employed etc). Many jobs though are not self directed. I wonder if they would be able to cope with that (and having bosses who like to exert authority by supervising your every waking moment).

[ClaudiaWankleman]

What lives do you imagine your children will grow up to lead? I know that they’ll probably wildly differ, but every parent has a vision of their child’s life path, even if it’s just a fantasy.

What do your family think?

How do your children socialise with others their age?

[rosamore]

How long have you been doing this?

Interested as our children are 6-8 (and 2 months old but I'm not worried about them yet, ha!), have been struggling a lot recently and we very strongly feel that they'll be better in a home-school/un-schooling environment, but we're worried we've left it too late. We want to give priority to improving their language skills and learning about the world, but would probably follow the national curriculum to a certain extent (even just broadly).

Thanks for this thread, it has been very interesting.

[MrsJayy]

Do you think they will manage to conform to working getting a job ? What about higher education have they expressed concern about not going to school

[SoyDora]

Actually your response to my question was more offensive than the initial statement I quoted .
I have nothing against home schooling, people have to do what is right for their children and there isn’t a ‘one size fits all’ approach. My DD is 4 and can read and write before she’s started school, so I fully accept that children don’t need a school environment to learn these things. Implying that all us parents who don’t parent like you say ‘because I said so’ rather than engaging with our children is really bloody offensive though!

[LikesAnimalPark]

Why do so many unschoolers jump ship at 11/12 and go to school? I literally know about 2 unschoolers who didn't decide to go to secondary.

[AssassinatedBeauty]

"However, you can't deny that saying "because I said so" is a hell of a lot easier than taking the time to listen to your child, understand where rget are coming from, help them to identify their emotions, and work together to find a solution that works."

Do you genuinely think that parents who don't homeschool as you do, just tell their children "because I said so"? You seem to have some very judgemental attitudes towards other parents.

[LikesAnimalPark]

Question 2 - are you more Captain Fantastic unschooler or Sandra Dodd unschooler?

[PestymcPestFace]

How do you fund this life style?

Do you work, FT or PT?
Are you supported by the other parent?
Trust fund or benefits?

Most parents do not have the opportunity to do what you are doing.

[madja]

I've actually just pulled my son out of school at 11. He isn't doing well under the school system and I've decided that there many ways to educate as there are kids to be educated. I'm lucky I'm at home and able to do this, and gear everything towards him. There are tons of home schooling group and meet up everywhere, so it's not like he doesn't see people, and has kept in touch with his primary friends.
I'm really interested in unschooling.
Question for op. Where do you go for learning resources, and do you structure the learning at all? (I'm pretty structured, but then I used to be a teacher!)

[OutOfControlSpirals]

In regards to the questions on diet choices, their body, their choice what they put in it. We go grocery shopping together. We write the list before we go, I check in with each child what they want. The 10 year old is quite arty and is currently trying her hand at calligraphy, so it looks quite fancy at the moment! We are not rich, there is only a certain amount each week to spend, so obviously they're not going to insist on loads of junk food if we then can't afford to buy toilet paper! They are also all into their sports so are concious of their health and fitness. That said, the oldest loves to bake, and happily whips up a tray of brownies every couple of days. I often have nights where DH and DS and I are having one meal and the two DDs are having something else. I'm fine with that, and avoid feeling like a short order cook by always cooking more than we need and freezing the excess in single serve portions. All my children are capable of defrosting themselves a dinner. Or, like yesterday when my DD1 absolutely did not want the vegetarian lasagne I was thinking of making for tea, so she offered to cook bangers and mash for us instead.

[Elementtree]

I had to train for four years to get my degree in education. It's also a job where you have to do training courses as well. How did you find out how to teach?

Oh, come off it. Humans weren't on standby waiting for the first one to complete a four year teaching degree.

[Clionba]

My children went to state schools. I never said "because I said so" to my children. Ever. I've also always been present for them and completely engaged with them.

[Hangingaroundtheportal]

In regards to the questions on diet choices, their body, their choice what they put in it.

But you must have set some boundaries around what good choices are?

Given the choice my DD would eat cake, chocolate and crisps all the live long day, even though according to her nursery learning journal she has 'very good knowledge about what constitutes healthy foods'. 😂

[OutOfControlSpirals]

I absolutely do not think that parents who sems their kids to school don't listen to their children or take the time to explain. My example was a poor one, I apologise

[adaline]

So would you let your children eat nothing but junk for a week? A month? Do you let them drink things like alcohol as it's legal at home from age 5?

Do you have any boundaries whatsoever?

[BendydickCuminsnatch]

Adding to the requests for a breakdown of your typical day?

[Clionba]

I'm guessing that you have certain boundaries, and am intrigued at how you set them eg diet, what they drink, what they watch, visit on the Internet etc.?

[OutOfControlSpirals]

Do they run wild around the supermarket? Tbh I've never seen an adult do that. Why would a child do it? When they were little I carried them in a sling and chatted to them, and as they got older and could walk beside me I engaged them in helping me, weighing produce, looking for cheaper items etc. Like all the other parents whose kids weren't being left to run wild. I've walked out of a supermarket mid shop with a small child screaming and sat with them out side until they had calmed down enough to go back in.

[pieceofpurplesky]

How will your marine Loving daughter study marine biology? I am pretty free with my DS and he self regulates a lot - but he goes to school. He loves it. How do you know your children wouldn't and do you think they will thank you in the future?

[OutOfControlSpirals]

Again with the let them eat nothing but junk - we can't afford to buy a months worth of shit food, so if its not in the house, they can't eat it. And they don't want to. Thats not to say they couldn't destroy a block of chocolate in 10 minutes. They can, and they have. And then they have to wait till we next grovery shop. Whats stopping all of you right now from eating chocolate all day every day? The same thing thats stopping them - they don't have it, if they did it wpuld make the sick so they stop.

[SuburbanRhonda]

Do you have a job? Or does your DH?

(I think I know the answer to this one and therefore to the question of why more women aren’t drawn to this style of parenting ....)

[Nicolamarlow1]

With younger children, your own knowledge will be enough for their needs, but what about when they need A levels, if they wish to go to a university? Don't you think they will need specialist teaching at that age?

[adaline]

Again with the let them eat nothing but junk - we can't afford to buy a months worth of shit food, so if its not in the house, they can't eat it.

But what's to stop them spending the monthly budget on crisps, chocolate and cookies, for example? Would you allow them to do that or would you say no?

And what about the alcohol question? As it's perfectly legal for children over age 5 to drink in the home - if they asked for alcohol would you allow them to have some? If yes, how much? And if no, why is that a boundary but staying up until 2am isn't?