I didn't know I was pregnant until 26 weeks...AMA

[Pepperpug]

Probably the most interesting thing that has happened to me and I want to get involved with AMA

Once we had come to terms with it the worry started, up to that point I had been smoking, drinking, eating everything you shouldn't, exercising like crazy, using sun beds, traveling to Zika prone countries plus goodness knows what else you shouldn't do during pregnancy. I thought there was no way on Earth I hadn't caused some kind of damage,

We booked to go for a private scan and I have never in my life been so nervous as I was as I waited to be called in, however, it went well and they said they could see no obvious problems but as it was quite late there were some things they could no longer tel from the scan... they also told us that it was a boy.

I was 33 at the time, DS is now 20 months and without a doubt the best thing that has ever happened to me. I enjoy being a parent (most of the time) and I surprised myself at how well I took to it.

My pregnancy continued to be pretty easy all the way through but I paid for it in labour...it was horrific to say the least.

noselimit how did things turn out for you?

Well it was around 18 years ago.

DC literally changed me. I have learned so much from them, and their younger siblings. I also was drinking and smoking right up until I found out! DC was absolutely fine, has grown up to be a decent person, no underlying health issues due to my lack of early care and is off to University very soon!

Also, I was very early days with my now DH. He took it really well, we got married when DC was 18 months!

These kind of stories never fail to amaze me. To think that you wouldn't know is always astonishing, as the physical signs were there for me very early on. Were there no changes to your breasts, could you not feel the fluttering early movement? Anyway, everyone is different, and this seems to have had a very happy outcome!

Glad to hear you are happy. This would be my worst nightmare!

@clionba: Never fails to amaze me too! I appreciate not everyone gets morning sickness, but even without that, I had that unmistakable, there's something growing in me weird bloated feeling early on.. Then the flutters and prodding... I think it's lovely what you said OP about your son hiding away in there until it was too late I'm so surprised because especially as you were slim, you didn't feel movement until that point. Was DS quite a small baby or did he make up for his hiding away until the third trimester? Did you ever have a big bump or did you stay small throughout? I was a size 8 when I got pregnant with my first DC and was also tiny up until about 27 weeks (but still had an unmistakable bump!) but then I suddenly ballooned and DD was 8lbs 8oz.

And yes, glad everything worked out for the best Your mum sounds so supportive.

Pepperpug I was about 20 when I actually found out but by the time I got an appointment I was 25.5 I only thought I was about 6 weeks 😂😂 xx

These are very significant physiological changes that impact the whole body. Did you think that everything was just as usual? Was there any sense that you might have been in denial a bit? (not a criticism, a very genuine question)

Wow OP it never ceases to amaze me either! Are you still with his Dad? If so do you feel you've resolved a lot of your issues?

OP, did you find the medical staff of other people didn’t believe you?

A friend of a friend didn’t find out she was pregnant until most of the way through her pregnancy. Sadly her partner didn’t believe her that she hadn’t known for so long and broke up with her. I’m not sure what the full details were but it wasn’t good. My friend had to be her birthing partner. I think the dad ended up being around for the child but not a great dad.

My best friends sister has MS and gave birth to twins on the toilet (first on toilet second bathroom floor) didn't know she was pregnant and certainly not with twins. It made the local papers at the time

I do enjoy finding out how common this truly is.

I found out at 30weeks and had DD 6weeks later.

Were the doctors ever convinced on how far you were? Although DD was deemed premature during her hospital stay none of her doctors were actually convinced she was. She was just very low birth weight.

Also, do you struggle now sometimes with the emotional side of not having known? People often say to be 'how could you not know?' But I truly didn't and still struggle with that now. I am paranoid and do pregnancy test monthly just in case.

Sorry, it's nice to know other people have been through similar

@noselimit We have the same story! I also found out how far along I was at the initial termination appointment. DC is now early 20s and I'm happily married to the One Night Stand who got me pregnant! Gave up drinking and smoking the day I found out and, luckily, DC is completely healthy, although really dislikes alcohol and always has. So, in that way, I figure I did a good thing!

The weird bit was the subsequent pregnancies and realising how incredibly long they seem when you find out from the start.

Would you have another one?

Following

@Pepperpug I have just found out also at 24/25 weeks.

I am worried beyond belief. What was the process for you in terms of scans/ appointments and the like?

I am also worried that I will go even earlier than expected or am further on than doctor can tell

Did you change your lifestyle soon as you found out?

So they can still do the anomaly scans but maybe not be able to tell as much?

How much were you smoking and drinking?

@firsttimer2018 I'm sure OP will be able to give you a really good answer having been there herself, but this is my experience... I found out early on that I was pregnant, but they found out at the 20 week scan that there was a small anomaly. I have been having regular scans ever since. Had one at 24 weeks 5 days and the sonographer said it was more detailed than the 20 week scan. They can look for all the same things! They're likely to give you a detailed scan :) the scans are incredible. They can check the blood flow in and out of the heart, the brain, the placenta etc! If you can afford it, you can have a test called NIPT that is the not accurate test for Down's syndrome and other chromosomal abnormalities (if you really hunt there are places that do it for just under £300).

I recommend you phone and book in to antenatal classes ASAP (if you want them) as they book up quickly!

Best of luck and hope OP can help you out a little with her experience also.

@firsttimer2018 *more accurate, not 'not accurate' - doh!

@UniqueMeta thank you

Any input from anyone is very welcome. I just can't help beating myself up for not knowing and I want to do absolutely everything I can from now on to give baby the best start possible

Were you taking the pill while you were pregnant then?!

I hada similar experience. I was over 20 weeks when we found out but I don't know by how much. The difference is that I had been to the doctor numerous time saying I felt pregnant, despite having had a period every month (as the OP said, they were lighter but still realistic as periods), having taken a number of negative pregnancy tests and being on the pill. I felt very sick but lost a lot of weight and felt incredibly tired. Doctors did numerous blood tests and even suggested leukemia but always refused to test for pregnancy, even though I begged them to .

At one point I was leaking milk from my boobs, quite a lot, and they still said I couldn't be pregnant, due to the pill, negative tests and regular periods.

Within a couple of weeks of that I sprouted a bump what felt like very suddenly - one day flat stomach, the next round and hard, and started feeling movements. Fortunately this time when I went to the doctor there was a new one, a locum I hadn't seen before. He went straight to listen for a heartbeat and found one immediately. He said that in his opinion I would be too late for the legal termination date. I was terrified and panicked. I pointed out that on my notes it would show I had visited the doctor at least eight times asking them to confirm a pregnancy and that despite at least five blood tests, none had done so. I then threatened to leave his office and go straight to the nearest lawyer to start some kind of legal action, and also to the press.

Given that my notes were very clear and showed I had been insistent and been ignored every time, he agreed that previous doctors had been extremely negligent and managed to get me an abortion booked in for within two days. I don't know how far along I was and while I'm not proud of happy about having had to abort, I know it wouldn't have been the right thing to have the baby.