I live in Saudi Arabia. AMA!

[Shmithecat]

I still hear so many daft claims about certain aspects of living in KSA. Happy to confirm or deny what you've been told!

delphguelph
So could you go to the mall in jeans, for example? Or would you have to wear an abaya?
I could, but I prefer the abaya... I've seen a few women in trousers and baggy tops since MBS said abayas weren't neccessary but not sure if I'm brave enough to do it myself yet. I see many women at Riyadh and Jeddah airports in standard western clothes though and have done for years.

Do you had a maid /nanny?

No. I have a cleaner who comes 3 times a week. I don't work and only have one child so no need for a nanny.

Do you miss the green of England?

Very much so. There's nothing like it.

The dryness and lack of trees and greenery would get to me after a while I think.

On the streets outside it is barren. But there's so much construction and development happening at the moment, I think it will remain that way for a while yet.

Moussemoose
No opinions on human rights abuses in Yemen then?

Why don't we just cut out the middle man and you tell me what I should think?

Could you visit other areas of Saudi? Are there 'holiday' places you could travel to?

Rita the unemployment here is awful. Loads of local people without jobs (around 13%), yet a massive expat workforce. Trouble is most of the expats either do very specialised roles, that Saudis dont yet have the capability and training to do, or jobs which they don't fancy - manual labour. They already are forcing out the expats, and pushing in local labour - there is program called Saudisation. Several job roles are now exclusively reserved for Saudi nationals - off the top of my head, anything hire car related, some retail roles, all human resources plus loads more.

The kids are fairly separated from Saudi ideals. Expat kids are not entitled to attend national (state) schools, so are all in international schools. The only saudi kids attending are those with parents who want to expose their kids to other cultures (and can afford the fees!). They tend not to be the most reserved.

Delph technically, you can go to the mall in Jeans. In reality, it is very very rare to see anyone not in an abaya.

We don't have any paid help. We did have a cleaner in the UK, but both worked FT. Here I have the time the kids are at school to cook, clean etc.

Yes, I miss the green. Date palms just dont cut it!

BeachyUmbrella
Could you visit other areas of Saudi? Are there 'holiday' places you could travel to?

Yes! We go to Yanbu (yes, it's a place..) to visit friends - it's quiet, peaceful and pretty by the Royal Commission areas and they have the most amazing flower festival. The Corniche in Jeddah has and is still going under major renovation. Its lovely, especially at night. There are also private beach hotel resorts near Jeddah too.

Mecca and Medina are still off limits to non Muslims. Its a shame as I'd love to visit. But Bahrain from Riyadh is only a 5 hour drive so doable for a weekend away.

Love the idea of a holiday in YANBU

In a hypothetical scenario if your DH best you black and blue tonight would you be able to leave?

Would he be arrested?

Could he stop you leaving the country with your D.C.?

I suspect he could take on 3 extra wives one of whom could be 12 and would have rights to the existing child so it is quite a risky thing to do to go out to these places particularly if you don't earn any money and are totally reliant on the man.

Sevendown
In a hypothetical scenario if your DH best you black and blue tonight would you be able to leave?
Would he be arrested?
Could he stop you leaving the country with your D.C.?

Good questions... whilst there is now laws against domestic abuse (very recent, only since 2013), I honestly don't know the answers... There is a hotline to report abuse but whether expats can use it or not, I don't know. Under normal circumstances I can't leave the country without his permission as he is my sponsor and has to authorise both mine and ds' exit visa... I'm not far from the British Embassy though and I could also approach his company (not a Saudi company) to help? I've never thought about it tbh.

How do you justify tolerating their appalling human rights just so you can make money? Do you ever feel guilty? Not snide, genuinely wondering if it just becomes worth it.

Xenia
I suspect he could take on 3 extra wives one of whom could be 12 and would have rights to the existing child so it is quite a risky thing to do to go out to these places particularly if you don't earn any money and are totally reliant on the man.

No..we're not Muslim, none of that applies to us.

Thanks OP, this is so fascinating.

How did you get to meet people when you first moved there? Do you only socialise with the people who live in your compound? How do you choose where to live? How many houses are in your compound? Where does your driver live and what does he do when you don't need to be driven anywhere?

MillieMoodle
Thanks OP, this is so fascinating.
How did you get to meet people when you first moved there?

I needed a dentist soon after I first arrived in Jeddah. Was recommend one by the compound admin lady and I've been friends with the dentist ever since. Parties or gatherings for no reason are quite common so you then meet other people. Mainly compound residents but some people are invited in from outside. And then through the local vet, I met more people, as animal crazy as me. A German paediatric oncologist, a Saudi dentist, then other friends through the job I had. Its fairly easy as long as you put yourself out there.

Do you only socialise with the people who live in your compound?

Mainly. Sometimes at other compounds though coffee mornings etc. Its a bit like a multi national WI really.

How do you choose where to live?

Either it's allocated by the company or you get an allowance and choose yourself.

How many houses are in your compound?

1200 ish. Pretty big.

Where does your driver live and what does he do when you don't need to be driven anywhere?

He lives outside the compound, fairly near by. He's allocated to dh by dhs company. He drives dh to work, but he doesn't have to do anything if I don't need him until it's time to drive dh home again. I think he just goes back home to spend time with his wife?

Interesting thread. I was also in KSA as a child. All sounds familiar. Not to highjack the thread but prevailing cultural norms had no negative influence on me as a child. I think what you learn at home and school prevails. YY to the freedom as a child. You could roam the compound from morning until night with an independence I could only wish for my UK raised children now.

Have you any Saudi friends/acquaintances OP? What surprised you or went against your expectations when you first went out to live there?

KarlDilkington
How do you justify tolerating their appalling human rights just so you can make money? Do you ever feel guilty? Not snide, genuinely wondering if it just becomes worth it.

No, I don't feel guilty. We're making sure our ds has the best start in life. I will never feel guilty about that. My dh works fucking hard in a very stressful job. There are human rights violations in every country in the world. At what level does it become morally reprehensible to make a living?

I've really enjoyed your thread, OP. You've been very measured and informative. My husband was in KSA briefly. I remember him saying that every night the restaurants in his local area had hooks outside on the walls and all unsold food would be packaged up and hung out for the needy to take. The people are generous and very friendly.

Sorry if this has been asked and I've missed it. What's your house like, is it quite big or more like an apartment? The compound looks beautiful, have you got any more photos of it? Is food much more expensive to buy there compared to the UK?

KarlDilkington I've never seen anyone on here with a name like mine before, hello!

Fascinating thread, thanks OP.

You say you go out alone all the time- do you mean with your driver, rather than walking out of the compound and down to the local shops?

Is it possible for your family to come over to visit?

What was your UK life like?

Was it a hard decision to go to the KSA?

How many years will it take earning in KSA to be mortgage free in the UK? (Are we thinking about London or Leeds prices!?)

The thread is AMA - I'm asking you questions.

You could call the thread 'ask me questions that don't make me look like I'm in for the money with no concern about human rights', but you didn't.

Lots of countries have human rights abuses the KSA is one of the worst - it really is. Both KSA and Yemen are in Amnesty Internationals top 10 human rights hot spots. I mention Yemen because the KSA is complicit in the civil war there.

If you choose to live and take money from one of the worst countries for human rights abuses in the world you must expect more than a raised eyebrow.

famousfour
Interesting thread. I was also in KSA as a child. All sounds familiar. Not to highjack the thread but prevailing cultural norms had no negative influence on me as a child. I think what you learn at home and school prevails. YY to the freedom as a child. You could roam the compound from morning until night with an independence I could only wish for my UK raised children now.
Have you any Saudi friends/acquaintances OP? What surprised you or went against your expectations when you first went out to live there?

I have a few Saudi acquaintances. I was surprised at the older generation the most - how tolerant, liberal and hardworking they are. The younger generation however need a swift kick up the arse.

DearMrDilkington
Sorry if this has been asked and I've missed it. What's your house like, is it quite big or more like an apartment? The compound looks beautiful, have you got any more photos of it? Is food much more expensive to buy there compared to the UK?

It's big-ish. 200sqm maybe? Very American style open plan. Not my thing but it's not paid for by us and is more than enough for the 3 of us and our pets. We did have a 300sqm 3 bed house once and it was too big. Huge rooms, you couldn't fill them up! Our house we have now is considered small by some expat standards but our compound is fairly new - as with all builds, plots are getting smaller so they can fit more units in. But the facilities are excellent. I'll dig out some more pictures in a few mins.

Food - if it's grown or sourced locally it's cheap. If it's imported, the price goes up. On the whole, about the same as the UK.

Wow you've actually changed my opinion.
Tbh all you hear is it is backwards and a horrible place but how you put it, it doesn't sound a bed of roses but it sounds a million times better then I heard.

Do you ever think women will have equal rights?
What changes would you like to see in the next 10 years?
If you could only change one law what would it be?

Also think you're getting a hard time, you don't choose the laws and traditions and are just trying to do your best for your family.

Just a thanks to the OP who is getting such a hard time. This is super interesting.