I am a 26 year old Mother of 2 and I have never had a job AMA

[Procrastinate92]

Anybody have a question?

People can't give an useful answer about a situation in a country that is different to theirs.
This is ‘ask me anything’ the poster doesn’t want answers about her situation. She isn’t the one asking the questions.

@CastleOfGlass OP has explained her partner works full time. OP caring for the children enables him to do this.

Presumably the Irish tax payer picks up the tab for education. No idea about the Irish health care or benefits system. BECAUSE I DON'T LIVE THERE. Neither do most of the people who post on here.

Hi @Procrastinate92 I don't really have a question but just thought I'd tell you you're not alone.
I'm 24 have 2 DCs (3 and 5mo) and wont be going back to work as its not viable.
I have no particular qualifications and worked an unskilled job in the evenings before DC2 which meant me and DP were like ships in the night he'd walk through the door I'd pass DS over and if be out off to work and we never saw each other.
I'd like to do something once DC2 is in free childcare but I have no particular interests or skills and really don't know what career I could attempt to pursue.

So yeah...there you go

When I was a sahm I did some studying from home in the evenings- I wanted to be a midwife or nurse but didn't have gcse science so did this from home and then did some voluntary work in health care - you'll need this to have a shot at midwifery as it's very competitive so it's worth planning when you could do this . I haven't ended up doing nurse training as it doesn't fit with my family right now but I have a paid job in the nhs working with children which I love and the volunteering and studying helped me get this ... sorry not a question as such but just wanted to say it's good to keep your eye on the future as there's a long time when your kids wil be grown up and you can work

Isn't it strange people laying into OP when only a generation ago this was the done thing for women?

As someone who works part time so I can be home with my children during the day, I really do feel like I see the best and worst of both worlds. I honestly cannot believe how bitter and vindictive people are towards parents who stay home to care for their lives. When did raising your children get seen as something menial and worthless?! Why is a parent's worth only considered in their financial contribution? Honestly, this depresses me so much!

Presumably the Irish tax payer picks up the tab for education. No idea about the Irish health care or benefits system. BECAUSE I DON'T LIVE THERE. Neither do most of the people who post on here.

We’ll seeing as it’s AMA perhaps you could use the opportunity to ask

I think it is jealousy Fatted. But many of those people could choose the same if they wanted to!
There are sacrifices either way. For me being home with DC whilst young felt right and was worth risks to pension, sharing a car, risking ending up alone and screwed etc. For others they give up time with DC but gain in career terms, independence etc.

I don’t think people value being a SAHP enough. It’s a rewarding, hard but hugely important job.

You are not ‘just’ a mum! I’ve given up a very successful career to look after my children at home. I am so proud I have this opportunity while they are young. I already feel sad about how I will have much less control over what they are exposed to at school. My little boy is so polite and I think that’s down to me being there to teach him everyday.

a sponger is merely someone who soaks it all up without giving back. If you don't pay taxes, you don't give back.

No - actually if you don't pay a significant whack of higher rate tax, you don't give back. Have an average income? Have a couple of kids who go to state schools? You take more out of the system than you put in. (Just do the back of a fag packet maths if the cost of an average school place is £5k pa).

On that basis, most people are "spongers" in your terms.

Do you ever feel guilt/gratitude - for the fact that others have worked to pay for you to get into this position - though for this I do presume your education was taxpayer funded, your 2 children born into a taxpayer paid healthcare environment

Primary and secondary education is free in Ireland (bar a 'voluntary' contribution and the cost of books and uniform). It's the same for everyone unless you go private. The healthcare system is a mix of public and private. Public is fairly crap, not because of the care provided but the long waiting times to access. Most people who work have private health insurance to allow them to be seen more quickly/more options for treatment etc.

The OP hasn't explained how they cover the costs of accommodation which is v v expensive in Ireland. I'm not sure how they would manage to support a family of four on minimum wage without any benefits except child benefit (which everyone with kids gets regardless of income).

Bluntness100 - We tried for 3 years to conceive, so your judgement is highly misguided

I would have loved the luxury of staying home with my kids (3&4 now) but simply couldn't afford it ☹️ we both need to work to stay afloat

I know some people can't wait to get back to work but for me personally I'd much rather be investing my time in my little ones - having all those free days to do as we please

We live in renter accommodation. My partner is an educated man, up until 5 months ago he had a high paying job, the company in worked for went bankrupt. He took a job in a different field that pays very badly while he is looking for work in his skilled field which pays significantly more. Thank god we have been very good savers over the years and the money we have saved is allowing us to pay our rent each month (€575).

The numbers would suggest you were 20 when you fell pregnant. When you say you were at college, do you mean university? Because 20 is quite old for what is considered ‘college’ where I am.

blinisurge seems to think there are no Irish MNers on here. Funny since there's a Craicnet.

I was 19 when I fell pregnant, and I was in my 2nd year of a degree. My partner was also in university. He stayed and worked weekends and evenings

Hi Procrastinate I'm assuming you live outside of Dublin? That's a decent rent level compared to the crazy prices here.

I think you should check out what you are entitled to. Your partner is looking for work and the time you'll be claiming is likely limited, even leaving that aside if you are entitled to more from the State you should claim it and protect your savings.

Yes we live in a smaller non-commuter county. That is average rent for here. Yes I will be contacting citizens advice in the morning.

In Ireland, we use the word college to mean third-level education. Different to its meaning in the uk

Presumably the Irish tax payer picks up the tab for education.

Hummm do you know how expenive so called free education is in Ireland?

You know those lovely free colouring pencils/feltips/pencils/pens/highlighters/white board pens/personal white boards/head phones for the computer your UK school provides? That the Uk tax payer "picks up the tab for" Irish parents buy them for their child at the start of the year and are expected to keep replacing through out the year.

You know those lovely lovely exercise books that the school provide for free? Irish parents are expected to buy them over the summer holidays and send them covered and labeled in to school on the first day of the new year

You know those lovely texts books that the school magically update every few years? And texts to study in english?
Yes Irish parents are expected to buy them every year too (i know schools are increasinly moving towards book rental schemes but many schools still include text books and readers on their book lists)

You know that lovely free photocopying that allows your children to do worksheets or even being letters home? ...... oh yes irish parents pay for that at tge start of the year.

You know that lovely paint your kids use to nake pretty pictures to stick on your fridge..

Oh yes .....paid for by the irish parents too.

Plus the cost of school uniform, often even more logoed than in the uk, plus the not so "volentry contributions" that can be up to €400 in secondry school.

Op just a side note to stop the your being "goady" cos you havent decoaired you live in ireland comments prehaps report the tread asking MNHQ to change the title to "I'm an irish 26 year old mother of two whoscnever had a job" or even better "im an Irish SAHM"

Being a sahm is the most difficult but most rewarding job there is

She’s not exactly down in the mines, is she? Come on, we can appreciate the sacrifices of motherhood without pablum like this, can’t we?

That said, I’m currently a SAHM and hate it. Worst job for me personally, but wouldn’t say it’s the hardest job out there. Love my DC, but it can be so boring and isolating. Working on changing that though.

@NaughtToThreeSadOnions - I don't know enough about the Irish education system. Or the health system or the benefits system. Despite having an Irish Mum. Which is why any question I ask the op is pointless. I have no idea how she affords anything. I don't know if her dp pays tax on all he earns either.