I am a 26 year old Mother of 2 and I have never had a job AMA

[Procrastinate92]

Anybody have a question?

The Great thing about having your children young is that you’ve still loads of time to get a career once they’re grown. As long as you don’t keep having more every few years! otherwise you’re just always raising children until the grandchildren come!

gamerwidow - my aunt was similar. First baby at 19 and second at 20. SAHM until they went to uni and she did too. Now a principle of a large London school. Loves her career but adored looking after her children at home and has no regrets.

Does being the sole earner have any negative effect on your dh?

Not so much a question but an abservation- when I was little 30 years ago, none of the mums in my area (highlands) worked. When I was 10 my mum went back to work to help fund me going to private school and all the other mums were a bit . How times change!

Good luck with everything OP- hope you enjoy midwifery if that’s what you choose to do.

Who subsidises your living costs? Do you live with family or something? Because one income of minimum wage isn't enough to house, feed and clothe 4 people.

SanseL

I think you meant "I'm a sponger AMA”

How is she a sponger? She said she doesn’t claim anything.

I think Sansel is just nasty. She isn’t sponging, she is raising her children. Probably one of the most creative and fulfilling “jobs”. Good for her if that’s what she’s chosen to do.

San don’t be such a nasty article.

I would love to go back to college to study midwifery, not possible at the minute

OP do you think you’ll manage to get back to college to do that at some point? Do you have a plan or are you just hopeful?

Do you feel embarrassed about your situation?

Do you claim HAP or rent allowance? Do you claim FIS?

ODFO SanseL, didnt you read the thread?

I had my kids young too and only worked for short time. I had 5 DC and husband worked away. I went back to professional training in mid 30s and have at least 25 years to have a fulfilling career. Being at home allowed me to gain qualifications to get this career. I loved every year at home it felt.right to me. Enjoy!

I'm clearly not a sponger as I have said we are not claiming social welfare.
And yes sometimes I am embarrassed in social situations when people are talking about their jobs and I don't have one, sometimes I lie and say I mind kids in my home, depends who I'm talking to.
Our kids are 5 and 10 months.
I will contact citizens advice on Monday about our entitlements.
I studied social care in college.
I really do hope to back to college to study midwifery, hopefully this will be sooner rather than later!
Can't answer all questions as right now I have a very cranky teething baby who just climbed out of her cot and in beside us in bed!
Thank you for all the lovely positive comments!

Op. I really don’t get why you would feel awkward.
Being a sahm is the most difficult but most rewarding job there is.
Also You’re still really young. You have plenty of time to get back to work. Just enjoy your time with your dc. Lots would actually love to be in your situation. Raising children young then when they’re off to school it’s time for you to concentrate on what you enjoy.

It is curious though. The age of your children would indicate that as soon as your oldest was off to school, you had another child, which has effectively stopped you working again.

Even now your plan is to go back to college and not immediately simply work if and when the time comes.

Do you genuinely want to work or does the idea scare you?

Midwifery is a 4 year course. You get summers off but during term time you will be on the wards 50% of the time. That means weekends and nights.

It's not impossible by any means but realistically the only parents who do it have a lot of support from grandparents.

Also there is a Back To Education allowance which is great as it's weekly and really helps, BUT to get it you need to have been seeking Job Seekers Allowance (or Benefit, can never remember which) for 12 months prior to the course commencement. As you claim nothing, you will he entitled to nothing. You are not "available for work ".

Regardless of what ever course you end up doing, I would get on social welfare pronto.

Do you ever feel guilt/gratitude - for the fact that others have worked to pay for you to get into this position - though for this I do presume your education was taxpayer funded, your 2 children born into a taxpayer paid healthcare environment?

Paying your own way is not just about not taking from the system - it is also about giving back.

Bluntness (apt name). Why do you assume the op was able to perfectly time her pregnancies that way? She may have had a struggle conceiving a second time. Also, she is young so had is able to wait so there was a nice age gap between her children who will both benefit from having focussed time with her. It is working wonderfully for our boys with a similar age gap.

She is not a sponger, she is making one of the best contributions to society: raising its next generation. What is wrong with having a family young and then getting out there and working? What is the difference between that and working young, having kids later and being a SAHM then if it works for her and her family? I get she is leaving herself a bit vulnerable if her partner left but the tone of a lot of these posts suggests that is not really the posters' concern.

OP, honestly though I would claim the benefits and save them for a rainy day e.g. if your other half was sick or injured or (hopefully not) left you.

The Op lives in Ireland. It's a different country with different rules. And a bit goady to post this without declaring that you live in a different country, op.

And a bit goady to post this without declaring that you live in a different country, op

How is it? We're you hoping you could come here to harp on about benefits and were sorely dissapointed?

Nope. Nice try at judging me.
People can't give an useful answer about a situation in a country that is different to theirs.

I think you meant "I'm a sponger AMA

Err yes sansel a sponger who doesnt claim anything, maybe actally read the thread before judging

It is curious though. The age of your children would indicate that as soon as your oldest was off to school, you had another child, which has effectively stopped you working again.

Believe it or not, not everyone's life revolves around paid work! For some people with a choice family is priority! There are plenty of other contributions one can make. And why should she go back to any old job? I made sure I caught up on my education. People shouldn't have to slave away for crap money to make others rich these days!

Don't need to "claim" anything to be a sponger -

a sponger is merely someone who soaks it all up without giving back. If you don't pay taxes, you don't give back.

I don't understand why you posted tbh. You say you don't claim anything; yet ignore questions of how you afford to keep 4 people off one minimum wage a month. What exactly were you looking for people to ask?

Nobody cares if you work or not so why not answer the questions that are actually relevant? Or did you just post so people could judge you and give you the chance to hit back

Castle of glass they pay their taxes as a family. Also if the OP wasn’t doing the childcare they wouldn’t have any money to buy stuff and the amount they contribute in VAT would massively decrease.
Individuals contribute to society in more than just income tax.