I'm a male submissive ama

[Andr5w]

Good afternoon all.

A couple of conversations recently when dating has shown that there seem to be a lot of assumptions and stereotypes of the sort of lifestyle and role that I have enjoyed.

To be fair, there are plenty of experiences with individuals who give the lifestyle a bad name, but I like to think that not all of us live up to that bad reputation.

Also I like to think of myself as fairly 'normal'.

Anyway for those interested or curious, go ahead and ask away, I'm always open and totally honest.

why are you on mumsnet?

@EdWinchester I had a really 'normal' childhood with two fantastic parents who did everything they could to support me and bring me up proper.

I mean throughout life we all have our experiences and quirks and none of us are perfect - but there really isn't a single experience or negative element that I can identify as the reason I enjoy what I enjoy.

Though without having been introduced to the lifestyle by someone else, I might never have been able to give what I felt I enjoyed a name, might never have explored it and discovered how great I could be.

So in that sense I think a lot of us have the potential to enjoy elements of kink, but that for many reasons we never realise to call it kink or never think to explore those feelings.

No questions but this is so far from my life and I find it fascinating.

Do you find it difficult finding partners? I understand that male subbies are the biggest group and female doms the smallest, which must be frustrating.

I always think people into this stuff must have.

A huge misconception. Not helped by the trope of mainstream erotica in which the brooding Dom has a terrible secret and it's always sexual abuse.

@Pornauthor I don't tend to have too many partners so its not all that often that I'm looking.

I have always been lucky and never really struggled to meet like minded people.

On face value there are a lot of male submissives compared to female Dominants but in my experience a significant number of these are really just fantasists: they may have seen some online videos and thought it looked hot, they may just be lazy and think that being submissive means not having to do any of the work.

These types are readily spotted by experienced dominants whilst those of us ( if i may be so bold to include myself in this) who are more "genuine" get on with making great connections.

Often it's those submissives in the former group who complain most loudly about their being too many submissives and not enough dominants.

There are clearly many more subs than Doms. I don't know anyone who disagrees with this.

As someone else asked... why are you on mumsnet?

@CrochetBelle I find many of the discussions on Mumsnet really informative and interesting and enjoy reading them.

Do people in "the scene" generally find life partners, or is it mostly just sex, either ons or friends with benefits? I imagine it must be much harder to find some you love and want to marry, have a family with etc, who is also the yin to your particular BDSM yang. Does it happen?

@Wishuponastarr it definitely happens. Like any relationship there are often compromises and in any scenario finding a perfect match is rare.

Just due to time and life commitments I think the scene tends towards those who are single, slightly older or have more flexible relationships