I'm a hijab wearing Muslim woman, ask me anything!

[hijabijabi]

Happy to answer all questions, but most comfortable with questions about my experiences - I can try to answer questions about Islam but am no expert, and other Muslims may hold different opinions.
I'll only be checking the thread intermittenty, so my answers might not be immediate.

I think some posters are threatened by the OPs quiet self respect.

It challenges you fundamentally. Tgis is no reason to attack her. Unless of course you go about attacking all people of faith???

I wonder if the haters have actually spent time amongst the Muslim community. They may discover it's not all about oppression.

FWIW, I am not Muslim. I don't believe in God.

I have spent many months in various ME countries. I have never experienced anything other than warm hospitality. Never once have I felt disrespected.

I didn't cover my hair, but totally understand why a woman may want to.

Blind faith is far better than blind ignorance and intolerance.

Well, I have to confess that I have similar misgivings about most of the organised religions. I have no problems with people keeping their own faith but I bristle when any kind of faith is forcibly brought into secular situations Our village school’s headteacher has brought about many uncomfortable to me changes in the school’s religious stance. Every time he greets me with ‘peace be with you’ I have to bite my tongue to stop myself from answering with ‘under his eye.’ This OP has attracted many posts on her thread because she has made a number of statements that imply her religion’s superiority and her outward display of that religion in a way that sets her apart from non-hijab wearing women. I did not see the Jewish thread, but if a Jew came on here proclaiming her right to carry out an action that is a symbol of oppression by Judaism elsewhere in the world I would have met her with similarly stiff questioning.

I fly to the Middle East - I see Muslim countries and Israel too. I almost offloaded a Jewish passenger once because he refused to interact with the stewardess in charge of checking boarding cards. Without looking at her he told her he couldn’t speak with a woman, she would have to get a male steward. She told him there were no male stewards on the flight that day so he demanded to see the pilot. Which is where I came in. I informed him that if he could not interact with women then he could not be on our flight as these women were here for his safety and comfort. Faced with speaking to a woman or being told by one with authority to get off her plane he backed down.

I have no patience for religious fundamentalism in any form. My irritation with it stems from many issues, but primarily the fact that as one gets closer to the more fundamental parts of a religion the members acquire a great sense of superiority over the other ‘lesser’ religions who don’t follow their true prophet/father/son/other male entity. This sense of superiority has led to more disharmony across the world than any of the harmony religion is supposed to bring about. In my lifetime Sikhs have attacked Hindus, Jews attacked Muslims and vice versa, Catholics have attacked Protestants, Muslims have attacked Christians, and so on and so on. But the reason Islam reserves a special place for distaste among a considerable number of women is that there is inequality even within the religion itself.

This thread saddens me that the originator is pleased with her freedom to do what she wants yet is not able to see that she copies the dress not of Islam but of the countries that have adopted the extremities of sharia law and use sharia law to disadvantage women. If a person of any other religion came on here and was happy to state that she took part in an action that was a symbol of oppression elsewhere I would be equally as sad.

I was born into a Muslim family. I am also Iranian although no longer live there.

I am eternally grateful for the freedoms England has afforded me as a woman. I am not forced to cover myself, apologise for my sex or hide my form in any way. Unfortunately my fellow female Iranians do not have access to those freedoms as misogyny in Iran reigns supreme. Of course it was not always like this as many have already pointed out on this thread.

I'm afraid OP I cannot agree with your choice to reinforce the misogyny inbuilt within Islam. The veil is an open symbol that women are second class citizens, dirty harlots who need to cover themselves to protect their modesty. To suggest that it brings you closer to god is ludicrous. Clothes do not have that power unless you are a man spouting that bullshit propaganda.

I hope that one day enlightenment will hit Iran but suppression of women gives their politics power. I truly feel sorry for you OP. It's tragic that you cannot see that you are part of the misogyny against women.

Shame on you. I hope you seriously reconsider your actions and I hope that your daughters rebel against the misogyny you so openly support.

FGM is not an exclusively North African tradition, it happens in sub-Saharan Africa too and across the globe. Some of the highest rates are in Somalia (which is a Muslim country) and Indonesia (the most populous Muslim country in the world).

HawkinsIndiana really enlightening post, thank you x

Why should a girl be sexualised at the onset of puberty? How is it right for a ten or eleven year old child be expected to consider their sexual attraction to men (which shouldn't exist at all, of course)? They are children, not objects of desire. Why are boys not viewed in the same way?

Why does Islam condemn gay relationships?

OP do your sons dress modestly? I don't know much about Islamic dresscodes for men.

@HawkinsIndiana a vert sobering post. I hope the OP reads it.

OP and @fuzzywuzzy can you please respond to HawkinsIndiana

OP,

Three questions.
1)
When you are at home does your husband (and sons if you have them) watch TV shows with women whom are not modestly dressed? What happens if a women in a bikini comes on the screen? Do you turn over?

2. Does it concern you that your husband looks at other women who are not modestly dressed? If you can't trust other men not to look at you then surely you can't trust your husband not to look at other women. Does that bother you? Would you prefer to live somewhere where all
   Women dressed modestly?

3. You seem to be contradicting yourself about whether your think it's obligatory to wear a hajib or not. You say it's obligatory to start wearing one at puberty but then go on to say it should be a personal choice. I get the impression that there would be a lot of peer pressure involved in women's decisions to wear the hijab. Is that true or is it genuinely left to an individual to decide.

Personally I can't say I like hijabs as I think they look very old fashioned and I find the whole concept of them slightly disturbing. I find it hard to understand why someone would need to hide their body in such a drastic way. I know there are creepy men about who check out women figures but why give them so much power and control. However, I 100% believe that people should be able to chose what they wear as long as it's not offensive.

I think the same about nuns habits too so I think my reservations are more garment based than religion based.

Ugh sorry for the typos and poor English

In regards to hawksinindias post I don't know how many times I can reiterate the fact that I don't agree with and would not attempt to justify the policies of Muslim countries.
I am well aware that had I been born somewhere like Iran, I may well have rejected Islam. I wasn't - I had the opportunity to learn about Islam away from oppressive political regimes and cultural practises that have no basis in Islam, and I'm very grateful for this.
I have seen first hand some of the things that women suffer in Muslim countries, and it has no justification.

Hijab - I believe strongly that it is a personal obligation, not one to be enforced by outide agencies, in the same way that praying 5 times a day is. Sorry for any confusion. I would always express my opinion if asked (that it is a personal obligation) but have many friends who don't wear it, and I would never be critical of their decision.

My sons are young at the moment but I will teach them to adhere to the Islamic rules of modesty, in dress, and the way they interact with ALL women.

It has been said a couple of times that I feel I'm superior to other women - I'm not sure what I've said to suggest that, but I most certainly don't think that. I have never suggested a women be ashamed of the way she dresses, no matter what she wears, but at least two people on this thread have told me that I should be ashamed of my choice to cover myself.

Crystal

1. No, he doesn't, we generally don't watch TV and if we do watch anything he would turn away if he saw something like that.

1. I'm confident that my husband doesn't look at any women more than he needs to for practical or polite reasons - not something I even think about really.

1. Think I answered that above.

It's common that converts to any religion or group are more zealous than those born in them. This is because they want to show themselves to be e.g. a "good" Muslim and concretely differentiate themselves from non-believers. As inner change is not that "visible", they are keen in visual and behavioural cues to signal their "virtues". Converts will be the ones that are the most rigid and unbending, as they are fascinate to learn and absorb this new thing and signal it to others.

I find converts wearing hijabs, niqabs and the likes very sad and anger-inducing. Every one who "chooses" to wear something like that makes the practice more prevalent, drip by drip, and more the "born" and expected. We are born naked and covering our bodies to the point which isn't practical or natural is just unnecessary and regrettable. It is not women's job to cover up for men!

Converts are people who were list and looking for answers. Islam has many set in stone rules, which our western lives lack. It's hard to live with a burden of choices, so some choose to be "told" what to do, thus relegating their freedoms for "comforting" and certain rules. This is also why converts are more likely to take all the rules (even those up to interpretation) literally. It's a clear and safe path. When previously you would worry e.g. about your career or attractiveness, you now only need to worry about putting your scarf on, reciting prayers five times a day in a certain direction, as well as saying "under his eye" and "by his mercy" in as many situations as you can shoehorn it to.

"common", not "born"!

And "lost", not "list" - apologies!

OP, thank you for answering my questions 😊

I can't understand why someone would feel obliged to wear a hijab but I also
don't understand the thinking behind many of the 'rules' and traditions in all sorts of religion so it's not too surprising. I'm all for being a moral and charitable person but I can't be doing with all the other requirements. Luckily for me I'm an atheist. I have to hope I'm not wrong and
end up in hell 🤨

OP I hate to break it to you but those Muslim countries you are clearly trying to distance yourself from are the countries responsible for the birth of Islam and its later growth/development. It is entirely hypocritical in my opinion for you to try and distance yourself from the birthplace of Islam (Saudi Arabia) which has an open and and unapologetic disregard for womens' rights and feminism. You are Muslim and you can't ignore the importance of the Middle East or the religion that you have chosen to follow.

I am sure it's very nice for you to live in your little pious bubble with complete disregard for your Muslim sisters who are oppressed daily for simply being beautiful or talented or strong. Cover them, hide them, imprison them - their beauty is a threat.

I urge you to question your beliefs and the message that you currently send to all women when you put that god ugly piece of fabric on your head. You may be proud that it makes you stand out as a "good" Muslim. But know this, for many Muslim women it shows that you stand in solidarity with the men that suppress them daily. Or that you stand in solidarity with those women who don't have the luxury of choice or education to truly understand that women are equal to men.

Oh and if you don't want men looking then don't try and standout in a country that is enlightened about womens' rights. A women wearing a full Islamic veil will get far more attention walking the streets of London than a women wearing a pair of trousers and a t-shirt. I am currently on holiday and the women wearing a Burkini get far more attention from men and women than those wearing a thong bikini. The irony is clearly lost on them. In fact I saw a woman today wearing a headscarf and t-shirt with the slogan "open and easy". She clearly had no clue what those words really meant but oh the irony.

I beg you, please don't go back to the dark ages. Enlighten yourself. Be proud of your form, your hair and your status in the world. More importantly be proud of your sex. Don't be an apologist for being a woman and everything that being a woman entails. Don't let the misogynists win.

Crystal I'd rather end up in hell than heaven if heaven is going to be full of clerics and holier than though religious bigots imposing their outdated beliefs on me even when I am dead.

I'd rather burn burn burn.

Ah. You don't watch tv.

HawksIndiana well according to Eastern Orthodox theology heaven and hell are not places but ones own reaction to being in the presence of God.

@hawkinsindiana I am in awe of you, your voice and testimony!

@HawkinsIndiana - thank you so much for your posts. Intelligent, sobering and enlightening. Good luck to you and other women challenging these misogynist rules. When I see little primary school girls in our town wearing hijabs, I find it depressing.

Dieantword I did not know that. That's an interesting way to look at it.

You've probably guessed anyway but I have had my own religious conversion . I'm now an atheist and believe that when we die that's it. Human beings in my opinion think too highly of their importance/role in the Earth lifecycle. Of course if I am wrong and I do end up in a physical hell as supported by Islam or some other softer version of it - I can't imagine that it will be all bad as most of my friends will also be there.