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AMA

I'm a hijab wearing Muslim woman, ask me anything!

469 replies

hijabijabi · 12/07/2018 19:03

Happy to answer all questions, but most comfortable with questions about my experiences - I can try to answer questions about Islam but am no expert, and other Muslims may hold different opinions.
I'll only be checking the thread intermittenty, so my answers might not be immediate.

OP posts:
NoNotheresnolyrics · 13/07/2018 11:22

To the posters who have strong opinions about hijab, thank you for contributing, and I'm sorry you've found my answers so far from satisfactory. I don't feel there is anything more I can say to explain my feelings about it.

Not really an answer is it! Probably because you cannot possibly argue against what we are saying.

LegoPiecesEverywhere · 13/07/2018 11:24

Do you believe that men get 72 virgins in heaven with ‘pear shaped breasts’? If so what about these so called young virgins? What have they done wrong to be sentenced to such a life in heaven?

NoNotheresnolyrics · 13/07/2018 11:25

borlottibeans your post is the height of ignorance and virtue signalling

NoNotheresnolyrics · 13/07/2018 11:26

LegoPiecesEverywhere Women are second class citizens in most religions.

UrsulaPandress · 13/07/2018 11:36

Well this is going well............

I can never understand why people need to have a visible sign of their religious beliefs. Be known by your deeds rather than your attire.

Backinthebox · 13/07/2018 11:40

Can you honestly not see the connection between female oppression and being told to cover up?

A bit of me wants to know which actual words in the Quran say ‘woman should wear a covering on their head,’ because I know that you will not find them. I was educated about this by women who practice Islam but who don’t dress any differently to the other women in the places they live. If there are no actual words, then it is interpretation and that interpretation is almost entirely by men, because they are not the losers here.

Then again, another bit of me thinks that even if actual words were found in a centuries old book it does not mean you actually have to follow them. There are passages in the Bible encouraging all kinds of things that are considered outrageous today. Slavery, genocide, incest and rape are all permitted depending on which bits you read.

Either way, don’t kid yourself.

NoNotheresnolyrics · 13/07/2018 11:41

UrsulaPandress I think it’s an attention seeking thing in this country. My friend, who happens to be a Muslim, doesn’t wear any of these things. She’s adores her religion but doesn’t understand why people feel the need to wear the head coverings etc. She said when her parents moved here from abroad in the 70s none of them bothered with it. Indeed in Iran in the 70s everyone wore what they liked! Apparently the funk club scene in Iran in the 70s was awesome!

The hijab et al is just an attention seeking fashion statement here in the UK and unfortunatly a horrible sign of oppression of women in other countries.

fuzzywuzzy · 13/07/2018 11:44

I’m a born Muslim. I wear Hijab.

Of my sisters one sometimes wear hijab and has experimented with niqab too, but she faced a lot of hostility & abuse from non Muslim people so stopped the niqab, she was frightened her young children would be targeted as well as her and was afraid of being physically attacked.

My youngest sister is a fashionista and is always sporting the latest trendiest haircut and clothes and said she’d wear a hijab if her husband asked her to (he never has, he’s an Arab if that makes a difference).

Middle sister doesn’t wear hijab either.

My parents have never said anything to any of us about it, my brothers ex wife never wore hijab either and nobody batted an eyelid.

I used to wear hijab since primary school, started to properly wear it in secondary school when I learned more about it and felt it is a Islamic requirement.

I have an assortment of Muslim friends, some who wear everything covered up from head to toe, to others who don’t wear hijab.

One of my closest friends doesn’t wear hijab, she finds it very difficult to wear it out and about as she feels she is targeted for abuse when she tried. She lives in a very white area so already sticks out as a brown face.

I have had people yell abuse at me very occasionally, but these days I normally have my white clearly English DP beside me and it really confuses people.

I also try to always be smiley and engaging when I come into contact with people in shops and restaurants. It’s important for me people I meet have a positive impression of me. Because it’s never just me, we’re always judged as a whole, if I do anything negative I can pretty much guarantee my actions will be attributed to all Muslims everywhere.

My children also wear hijab, they chose to themselves, they began by stealing my hijabs and they do crazy funky things with them. I would not force or stop them wearing hijab it’s their choice. I’ve promised to take them shopping for their own hijabs over the summer holiday, they both have preferences for different materials and accessories.

I am very strongly of the ‘there is no compulsion in religion’ thought.
To each their own. And I’d like very much to be left alone to get on with my life instead of being told I’m too stupid to have autonomy over my own sartorial choices and that I need to be forced to uncover by non Muslim people who are of superior of intellect and are trying to forcibly relieve me of some imagined oppression. Or from my own stupidity.

I do not have anything to do with any country but England which is where I was born and bought up, my grandparents are buried here. I have no say in regimes in the Middle East for example. I do campaign for women’s rights and support a lot women’s and children’s charities both domestic and international.

My sartorial choices are no more supporting opressive regimes than any other regular English persons is in support of Donald Trumps for example.

hijabijabi · 13/07/2018 11:46

No one defended me but then it maybe wasn't very obvious to others - yes I woud be nice to feel that others in the vicinity weren't in agreement!

OP posts:
GorgonLondon · 13/07/2018 11:47

Have a look at these Iranian fashion shoots from the 1970s
www.boredpanda.com/iranian-women-fashion-1970-before-islamic-revolution-iran/

And an Iranian female historian talks about the history of feminism
www.telegraph.co.uk/women/womens-life/11970733/Islam-feminism-and-the-truth-about-women-in-Iran.html

And see these pictures and stories of women in Afghanistan before and after the Taliban
www.amnesty.org.uk/womens-rights-afghanistan-history

Nuffaluff · 13/07/2018 11:47

The hijab et al is just an attention seeking fashion statement here in the UK and unfortunatly a horrible sign of oppression of women in other countries.
Perhaps you should start your own thread if you already know all the answers.
‘I’m a non-hijab wearing non-Muslim who knows everything there is to know about being a Muslim woman because I have one Muslim friend. Ask me anything.’

DayManChampionOfTheSun · 13/07/2018 11:50

Hi OP

If you did have a daughter and she didn't want to wear one, would that be a problem for you? What if your children chose not to follow Islam?

NoNotheresnolyrics · 13/07/2018 11:53

Nuffaluff I don’t know everything but I am allowed to voice my opinion. Woman in this country fought for our rights, it distresses me that some woman are allowing us to be seen as less than men, something to be covered, restricted....

hijabijabi · 13/07/2018 11:54

No one defended me but then it maybe wasn't very obvious to others - yes I woud be nice to feel that others in the vicinity weren't in agreement!

OP posts:
hijabijabi · 13/07/2018 11:57

day I wouldn't like it but would accept their choices.
nono being covered up doesn't equate to being less thn men.

OP posts:
SecretlyChartreuse · 13/07/2018 12:00

What was your religious “status” (for lack of a better word) before you converted? Were you baptised, confirmed (or equivalent)?

VickieCherry · 13/07/2018 12:01

You say you have friends who wear the niqab - how do you feel about that?

I ask because I went to uni in Leicester, and both my next door neighbors wrote the niqab. I found it odd and quite sad that I couldn't recognise them in the street, and had no idea what they looked like. I did, of course, recognise their husbands.

I have no problem with someone choosing to wear a head covering. No-one complains about nuns, and it was common for women and men to wear headscarves and hats until quite recently. But I do feel uncomfortable with a face covering and wonder why anyone would choose to cut themselves off like that.

Immigrantsong · 13/07/2018 12:03

OP stop being so obtuse. You have been given several evidence from loads of PPs as to how Islam and other religions oppress women. You are living in a western country and enjoy certain privileges. What about your fellow Muslim sisters that live under Sharia law and suffer? How can you not get it? And if you are so proud Islam, why not choose to live in a Muslim country? Islam in the 70s like others have said in certain countries was quite liberal. Things now are very radical in these very countries. I know of families that are at a loss as to why their children are choosing to wear the hijab as they never used to. It's in my opinion due to a loss of identity and a need to belong. But done in a way that aids radicalisation and the spread of it.

Oliversmumsarmy · 13/07/2018 12:08

my parents aren't Muslim so no issues there, my husband would be horrified! Equally I'd be horrified if he suddenly gave up something that I see as an integral part of our faith

But you must have given up something that was part of your original faith or no faith.

Why did you have to convert (or revert as Islam believes all babies are born muslim. Apparently)
Why not your husband.

It is not unheard of. Friend married a Muslim who gave it up. Children brought up Christian. He has never been near a Mosque for 20+ years.

Female friend similar. Divorced now. Don't think she owns anything longer than a short skirt and definitely doesn't practice Islam.

Backinthebox · 13/07/2018 12:10

I saw a documentary recently about female circumsicion wher the woman carrying out the procedure on a baby said it was essential for the baby to enter Islam. OP, have you had your clitoris cut off and your labia sewn shut? If not, do you feel this hampers your ability to be a good Muslim?

hijabijabi · 13/07/2018 12:13

immigrant i've been quite clear that I don't agree with women being forced to wear hijab.
I'd be happy to live in some Musim countries but I do think the UK is a good place to be Muslim as religious rights are protected.

secretly my family are atheists so I wasn't baptised or anything.

Vickie i respect the decision my friends have made to wear niqab, but i wouldn't wear it myself in the UK, I wouldn't be able to do my job if I did. I agree that it seperates people, though the women i know who wear do me positive contribution to society, though in limited sphere.

OP posts:
Happypenguin1 · 13/07/2018 12:14

Ignore the people attacking you for choosing to follow your own take on your own faith, you're not too blame for others being forced to wear a hijab.

UrsulaPandress · 13/07/2018 12:14

Going back to my original question re the niqab - how do children recognise their mothers? I am thinking about the children I see being taken to school by women in niqabs. At the end of the school day how would a child know which was its mother?

Backinthebox · 13/07/2018 12:15

Btw I should add that I feel as uncomfortable about the OP being suggested to go and live in another country as I do about the OP’s adopting of oppressive cultures here in our country. If the OP wishes to wear her hijab here in her home country so be it. But let her do so in the full knowledge that her actions carried out freely in a free country have implications for less free women elsewhere in the world, even if she chooses to ignore than. It is that choice - to ignore her oppressed sisters and to plead ignorance over it, not her choice of clothing - that I judge her for.

hijabijabi · 13/07/2018 12:16

Olivers my husband and I were both Muslim prior to meeting so neither of use gave anything up, other than the usual compromises that come with marriage!

backinthebox female circumcision does not come from Islam, it's a cultural practise in some Muslim countries, I am very much opposed to it.

OP posts: