I'm a Ballet Mum, ask me anything

[dancelikeeverybodyswatching]

For over 15 years I ferried dd to ballet classes, sewed things, learned how to do buns, chaperoned, agonised over vocational training, met wonderful people (and some awful ones), bit my nails during auditions, watched a friend's dc go all the way to the very top of the profession and if there's anything you want to find out about being the parent of a ballet dancer, ask away

My DD has been ballet dancing from 2.5 and really enjoys it. Seems to have a natural talent to. The teachers keep moving her up groups so she is with much older children.

Did you find that as she got higher up so to speak and became more and more disciplined with it she still has the same enjoyment/passion for it? Or does it just become serious? ( Hope this makes sense)

Also any Hun tips much appreciated. Am getting better each week but exams are next week and would love to nail it. Also just done my first lot of chaperoning recently. Exhausting isn't it?!

X

Should read bun tips? *Too

Dr is going to her first summer school aged 9 this year. Any experience on what she should take with her?

How do/did you cope with the awful teachers and parents? We've just left a dance school after what was almost emotional abuse from the teacher.

I'm hoping we've left all that behind us (fingers crossed), nice friendly, decent school, decent associates, coming up to vocational school audition stage in the next year or so, but the politics, favouritism and petty jealousy has, at times, made me wish DD had never chosen to go down this path.

DD is 8 and a good little dancer. She got distinction in her first modern exam, a merit in her first ballet exam and recently another merit in the next modern exam. How difficult is it to achieve distinctions? I sound like a pushy parent here I know. Of course I think my DD is amazing!!

Mynameisnot - you don't necessarily need to, but weekly private lessons and working through the grade, or elements of the grade, daily is my experience of what some distinction students do. We also bought a home barre, a stretch barre etc etc

Owlettele re the discipline and getting serious - as she moved up and the classes became more disciplined, her enthusiasm, self-discipline and determination increased to match. None of it was led by me - she was the one with all the motivation. The students take it extremely seriously and will forego parties & special occasions and things so they don't miss class. The more advanced the class, the more formal it becomes, and some kids thrive on that, some don't!!

Buns ballet buns are usually high up on the back of the head, and fairly flat. You need to put the hair in a high ponytail first, some people use a nit comb to get the hair on the head completely smooth, we never bothered with that much effort. Twist the hair into a long rope, and twirl it round and round the base of the ponytail into a flat round pad. Use long hair pins (the old-fashioned sort), and put a bun net or hair net over the top. There are loads of tutorials on youtube, but make sure its a ballet bun and not one of the ones that looks like a doorknob Dancewear shops sell the nets and pins, or you can get good nets from Boots, and the long pins from Primark or Tescos. Finish it all off with loads of hairspray, the spritz ones are better than aerosols.

Summer schools Any experience on what she should take with her
Most of them will send you a list of things to take.
As well as what's on the list I'd suggest: more tights than they say on the list, spare ballet shoes, a leotard for every day, extra black leggings (in our experience, these go missing more often than anything else. The older ones usually take a black leotard to wear for the display/parents' watching on the last day, a short chiffon skirt, loads of hair stuff, and she might like to practice doing a bun herself before she goes.
Most vocational schools have a ban on aerosols so it will need to be spritz hairspray and rollon deodorants.
A named water bottle, cuddly toy or game, pen, paper, and check whether they allow phones or not, that's pretty much it really.
When you drop her off, or on the last day, there may be merchandise so take cash with you.

TillyPlace sorry to hear about your experience with the dance teacher, and I hope that things go well at the new school.
It's not easy dealing with other parents sometimes, but it's pretty much the same anywhere there's a competitive element. Other people will think their kid is better than yours. I found the best way was to smile, always be pleasant, pretend to be interested in their opinions, praise their dc's achievements and I never volunteered information about my own dd's progress unless asked a direct question. Even then, it's better to play down any successes.
Dealing with awful teachers - only one way really. Take your child and your money elsewhere.

How difficult is it to achieve distinctions? Loads of factors aside from your dc's innate ability, some will naturally find things easier than others, so will have a head start. Really performing and showing a love of dance is something that the examiners like to see, and it does gain marks. Some people are really good 'performers', others are better technically and it can depend on the examiner's personal preference. Don't get too hung up on distinctions, it is after all, only the opinion of one person, on one day.
I would always have a little present to give to my dd when she came out of the exam, and tell her well done and that I was proud of her. That was the important bit - that she'd done her best and been rewarded already, so weeks later when the results came out, she wasn't bothered what mark she'd got.

weekly private lessons - a lot of schools don't offer this.

Why did you not withdraw your DD from this batshit world?

When you have a dc set on a professional career, and the talent to achieve it, the decision isn't yours to take.

Don't take this as rude but if she dropped ballet tomorrow would you have anything else?

She had to quit through injury in the end, but she's a qualified professional dancer and an ARAD.
When they go into full-time training there has to be a plan B because so many things can go pear-shaped, and it is a relatively short career anyway so they all make plans what to do when they stop dancing.

would you have anything else? Yes, I do now, and I did then.

What do you value more; exam results or festival medals?

What do you value more; exam results or festival medals?
She never went to a school that did festivals, there aren't all that many round here funnily enough, so she never really entered competitions or anything like that, other than the occasional RAD one.

What is the optimum age for them to start lessons? My dd is 3 and currently wants to be a ballerina. She's not a graceful child and I'd prefer to wait and see whether she maintains the desire to be a ballerina but wonder if we haven't already missed the boat in terms of getting her started.

Any tips for dealing with pushy, bitchy, competitive ballet mums?

I was going to ask about competitions too. They take up a big part of our time, and to the pp I'd say exam results, depending on the standard or type of competition. Some of the local festivals are very poor or varying standard, especially.

Did she take part in The Genée then?

What is the optimum age for them to start lessons? Don't worry, you haven't missed the boat, they don't all start out when they are tots. I know one girl who didn't start till she was 8 or 9 and she's a ballet teacher now.
Any tips for dealing with pushy, bitchy, competitive ballet mums? Haha, be polite, don't get drawn into the saga and keep out of their way!!! Most ballet mums aren't your typical pushy parent anyway, I met a few, but not loads.
endehors she did the Genee Dance Challenge one year but was one of the youngest in her section so she did it for the experience really. She also qualified for the Phyllis Beddells, but then went and did her Adv2 exam just before the application deadline, so she couldn't enter any more. They got rid of YBDY the year she was old enough to enter You're right about some festivals/comps, well that's what I've heard anyway.

Dd has been going to ballet classes for a while. She has done some exams with the Allied Dance Association. I was wondering if this is going to lead to anything, I'm not sure what all the ballet schools, exam boards are people mention on here. Do all the exam boards test to the same level?

Do you have other children? If so how did the logistics work to give all the time they need?

Do all the exam boards test to the same level? Yes - and no.
Each examining body has its own syllabus and system of training (and different levels of teaching qualifications), and there are different grade boundaries between them. At the end of the day, it is the quality of teaching from the individual teacher which makes the difference, and it doesn't really matter which syllabus is taught. Some schools, particularly teaching the Russian style, don't do exams at all.

Thanks dancelike, that's really helpful