I'm a Ballet Mum, ask me anything

[dancelikeeverybodyswatching]

For over 15 years I ferried dd to ballet classes, sewed things, learned how to do buns, chaperoned, agonised over vocational training, met wonderful people (and some awful ones), bit my nails during auditions, watched a friend's dc go all the way to the very top of the profession and if there's anything you want to find out about being the parent of a ballet dancer, ask away

Do you have other children? If so how did the logistics work to give all the time they need? Just the one for me, but I've got friends with more, I've no idea how they managed - you often see kids waiting in the changing areas for their own class to start, while their siblings' class is in progress. It helps if they just do dance classes and not competitions as well I guess. OK if they all like dance I suppose, but if you had one dancer and one into a completely different thing like swimming, it would be pretty tough being in two places at once.

Are ballet mums a new phenomenon? I have, many years ago, trained with royal ballet. In my whole dancing life, my mum or Dad just dropped me off and left me to it! I don't remember any pressure until I was dancing en pointe and, by that stage responsible for hair etc. I have sons, so quite possible the whole scene has changed and I've missed it!

I have a DD age 10 who is pushing for more and more dancing lessons. Her teacher says she has real talent, but I'm not sure if that's just to get me to pay for more lessons! They do United Teachers of Dance exams, she's just passed grade 2 in both ballet and tap.

I genuinely have no idea what direction these things go in. If she genuinely is talented do we look at vocational schools? She would be keen, me less so, but she's reasonably academic so I would hope that doing dancing now while she can, she could do something else later. I genuinely have no idea how it all "works". I could ask her teacher but I don't want to look like a complete idiot or come across as a pushy parent....

Are ballet mums a new phenomenon? No, not really. There's ballet mums and 'ballet mums' and I hope I fell in the former category responsible for providing finance, transport, assorted kit and form-filling. The pushy BM's can be a force to be reckoned with, but it does seem more prevalent if competitions are featured. Then it's all sourcing tiaras and tutus, sequins galore and travelling the country every few weeks. You do sometimes get people standing over their offspring in the audition waiting areas and directing stretching operations Not my style. I've watched Dance Moms and programmes about the UK disco freestyle scene, and the emphasis is different - those parents aren't like the parents I knew through dd's ballet. well there might have been the odd one

Ah, that explains it, thank you. I didn't do competitions. Loved my ballet days, and still feel so honoured to have been taught by some incredible dancers. I would encourage anyone to look at the Royal Ballet summer school, as it's a fantastic experience, and a real taste of life as a dancer.

Did she go Vocational? Dd is just ending Year 11 but an injury means she won’t go much higher in ballet. She is however staying on for Upper School but will have a more dance/MT focus (she never wanted to be a ballerina anyway but we couldn’t access enough local training)

SocksRock More isn't necessarily better. Does her dance teacher have a good track record of getting ballet students into full-time classical training or good quality associate programmes? How many hours dance a week does your dd do? You can PM me if you prefer.

Ratbagrassy - when Dd was dancing locally Ds was dragged along. He wouldn’t take part in extra curricular. However he now has become serious about drama/singing. I simply couldn’t have accommodated both if Dd hadn’t gone away to vocational school.

AH - it's me

Thanks @dancelike I think it would be difficult if one child got heavily involved in any time consuming hobby / future career for the other child. How do you think this changed you?

How do you think this changed you? That's not easy to answer. Would we do it all again? Yes, probably. Would we do it differently? With the benefit of hindsight, yes to that too. I think I would listen to my gut instinct a lot more than I did before. If you feel something's not right, or that something else might be a better choice, you need to act on it rather than going along with what you are told.

If she genuinely is talented do we look at vocational schools? That is a possibility, perhaps at first it might be worth looking at associate programmes (there are quite a few around the country) and also at things like one-off workshops and summer schools. You're a bit late to apply for summer schools this year though. There is also English Youth Ballet - have a look at their website.
I could ask her teacher but I don't want to look like a complete idiot or come across as a pushy parent... You probably do need to ask the teacher's advice really, because if she does have a lot of potential, she will need the teacher on board to help and support her.

You absolutely have not missed the boat, if she loves it let her do it! If her passion withers and dies after a year or so its still a great experience, but if she has her heart set on it consistently then push her to keep training! For a professional carreer you want to start very young, 3/4 is perfect, and if she is talented maybe think about ballet school when she's 11? You only live once, but also don't forget about her academics - ballet is a short career so prepare her for a life after dance