Family Solicitor - AMA

[fedup877]

Wide awake and had some amazing advice on here and just nice to have someone to listen, so I want to share my advice if I can!

I deal with family law (divorce, children etc) so if you have any questions feel free to ask!

[PinkMug32]

How did you get into doing family? Would you recommend it? How do you deal with such emotional and tough situations as your job? Does it ever impact on your personal life/life at home?

I ask as a current law student aspiring to work in family.

[HirplesWithHaggis]

Is there any training available on dv issues which don't involve physical violence? I'm thinking of emotional/psychological/financial abuse, coercive control. Things that don't leave a mark.

[fedup877]

PinkMug - In my final year at uni I chose family and criminal as my majors. After my LPC I got a training contract at a family law firm and it went from there really. It's not meant to affect us personally but of course it does, the reality of divorce, people losing children/contact and child abuse is harrowing, but I get through it by concentrating on the fact that I'm helping make things right. It's a worthwhile career and much more prospects as most people tend to want to work in criminal or corporate. Every day is different!

Hirples - When I was training it wasn't as "out there" as it is now, coercive control is a recent legislation so we are now seeing more and more of it, if that makes sense? With children involved it is always taken very seriously, even if they're just witnesses. Feel free to pm

[WhyBird2k]

How do you deal with family meetings where siblings or relatives are in dispute, especially related to wills and estates.

[fedup877]

WhyBird - I don't tend to handle wills and estates

[HirplesWithHaggis]

Thanks, fedup, it wasn't relating to me but I do appreciate the offer. I had just observed that when my female friend split with her ex and these issues arose, her SHL (female) "got it" straight away. When something similar happened with my DS and his ex (she being the controlling party), his lawyer (also female) didn't "see" it at all. So I wondered if there was training on these matters, especially since (as you say) legal recognition of coercive control is a new thing. :)

[HirplesWithHaggis]

Wrong thread! I read some of that one, you absolutely have my sympathy.

[fedup877]

apologies that shouldve gone on my other thread

[RayneDance]

In divorce do grandparent get a say when they see their gc. Is this ever likely to be mooted

Can grandparents do this now.

[stormymcstormface]

What do you reccomend for contact in cases where dv is proven?

[stormymcstormface]

All the advice I’ve received is just to try and avoid court...

[BarbaraofSevillle]

Do you really give free half hour consultations, like many on Mumset often suggest?

[Annielorrie]

Hi, I left a long thread about me not being able to find a solicitor to help me with
A, advice about my husband trying to change our deeds from Joint Tenancy to Joint Tenancy in Common behind me back (so he can leave his half of our home to his children)
B, I cannot find a solicitor who would be willing to help me with divorce proceedings.
I have no money of my own, I am 62, I cannot get a job because of ill health, and no employers will take me on because of it.
My husband controls me with money, I get money to buy our food, but if I need anything else I have to ask him. I have been told that I qualify for legal aid, but they told me I cannot get it because I half own the house.

Is there any way of getting around this? My husband knows the predicament I am in, he refuses to sell the house, he has retired and would not be able to raise the money to buy me out, so I am stuck.
Is there any help I could get?

He thinks I am being greedy if he dies before me, as it stands the house would go to me and vice versa, but he has accused me of in his own words “wanting to sell the house and live a life of luxury” yeah, seeing as the house is only worth £140,000,00 that is not likely!
I would have to sell to be able to live any sort of life, there is no way I could afford to stay in a 3 bedroomed house, as much as I would love to.
Every where I turn it I get doors closed in my face, I am well and truly stuck.
There is no way I could walk away and let him keep my half of the house, I would not be able to find somewhere to live, the council has told me if I walk out I would be making myself homeless, so they would not house me.
And anyway, I paid half of the house by doing 3 jobs for 5 years (when I was able to work) and I have put 30 years into this house 😕
I get the feeling he is hoping I will back down and walk away, leaving him to keep the house ☹️

[fedup877]

Hirples - thank you :) new guidelines are being issued around coercive control but it takes a while before it filters through to everyone, but yes it's now being pushed more

[fedup877]

Rayne - grandparents have no automatic rights. They can apply to the court for permission to apply for a contact order. It's a long drawn out process but the court will usually allow contact as long as it is in the child's best interests. They do not have the same rights as a parent and they must ask permission from a judge to apply for a contact order. (contact orders now come under the COA child arrangements order, but for ease I say contact)

[fedup877]

Stormy - That's a very complex process and depends on circumstances. Generally speaking, if the abuse was partner on partner, then the offending partner would still be allowed access to the children. However if there is a real risk of harm and agencies become involved, the court may order that contact takes place in a children's centre (contact centre). Again without specifics it is hard to advise as such. The law is currently changing to prevent violent partners having unsupervised access but it's still in the works - feel free to pm if you need more specific advice.

[fedup877]

Barbaro - yes, free half hour or free hour depending where in the country you are

[fedup877]

Unemployed - honesty is the best policy and if I think a client is unreasonable I will say straight away, as I need my advice to be realistic, so if I think they are trying to obtain something that isn't likely I have to tell them.

[fedup877]

Annie - I can help you please pm me.

[PatchworkElmer]

Hi OP- on the Grandparent note- DH’s family are awful people. We haven’t seen them for 5 years now- in which time we’ve got married, and had DS.

They’ve recently found it about DS, and have started sending him gifts. Am I right in thinking that becad they’ve never had any contact with DS, and haven’t see us for years, they are unlikely to be granted anything now?

[fedup877]

Patchwork - they can ask permission to apply for a contact order but you're right, the court will look at the level of relationship they currently have with your DS, how it will benefit him, the likelihood of any abuse or harm. You would contest the application and it would go a full hearing - I can't make any guarantees, no solicitor should, but contact in this situation IMO is towards the least likely end of the scale.

[PatchworkElmer]

Thank you! Sorry about the atrocious spelling in my post- I was distracted by a toddler.

Another from me- is there anything you wish people would do, but they never do before it’s too late? Like, getting power of attorney set up?

[PatchworkElmer]

Hugely relieved by your first response. This would make me more guarded about having a relationship with them in the future, in case they used this to access DS. Maybe it’s best if we all just maintain NC.