What's your approach to learning about feminism?

"at university, seeing how thick the boys were and yet they still had the temerity to hog the discussions with their commonplace observations"

And "I KNOW!"

God, debates were a joke. And they wonder why more women don't get involved in politics: having to listen to more self-inflated tossbags opining about their oh-so-well-thought-out views (not) - enough of that in their day-to-day lives perhaps?

I think along with my parent's hideous, dysfunctional marriage, going to a v. high achieving all girls school made me a feminist.

We had loads of discussions about feminism, sexism etc., without a load of boys shouting us down and telling us we were ugly because we were saying that.

Then at university, seeing how thick the boys were and yet they still had the temerity to hog the discussions with their commonplace observations.

Then at work where the mediocre men were paid more than the brilliant women and were more senior than them and then had the cheek to pontificate about meritocracy as they hadn't clocked the fact that they were nowhere near as good as most of the women.

Did a bit of reading (The Women's Room, Natasha Walter, Melissa Benn, Greer - not v. much). Then Mumsnet and Dittany.

Ah, thank you!

"i'm really surprised i'm not gay"

YOu know I think the majority of men are gay because all women are so beautiful, all of them, and yet men don't realise it. They expect women to be in make up and heels and shit, but any woman with a nice personality grows on you and ends up looking beautiful (and vice versa). I always wonder why men believe women need to be improved in some way.
Am I gay?
I do rather fancy men, though. So obviously not.

I was taught feminist history by the rebel history teacher at my very sexist girls school ( only allowed textiles and cooking, no metal or woodwork) noly allowed to wear skirts...

My parents brought me up to believe i could do what ever I wanted to do...
With my daughter not buying her the pink toys, buying the multicoloured ones. Correcting my very sexist FIL in the comments he makes to her...

with my son ( which I think actually is more important) not making him conform to male stereotypes and teaching him that men and women are equal..

swallowedaFly, I know exactly what you mean about the oppressive kitchen. That was my father's side. My mother broke out of it all and was very frowned upon.

Yes, I was very shocked that Memoirs of a Geisha turned out to be written by a man. Golding did a very good job indeed.

(The problem is he pissed off the Japanese with it (I live in Japan: DH hated the film Sayuri where Watanabe is made out to be some sort of paedo). The Japanese woman that Golding interviewed to get the info from was annoyed that he'd made the geisha world appear like some sort of sex trade when it wasn't actually like that. But then which reporter or novelist hasn't bent the truth? . I still think he did a good job writing life through a woman's perspective.)

Dostoevsky: just WOW at giving prostitutes a human face and writing about the despair of a young teen pushed into prostitution by her father to feed her younger siblings

Hmm...Madame Bovary: a woman driven to madness by the social constraints imposed upon her.

THere aren't that many, of course...

vesuvia I didn't really answer your OP because I jumped in here with some suggestions for RibenaBerry.

My exposure to feminism has been:

TV (started with the BBC3 documentaries)

then mainly web (blogs and MN) and some books

Not really much discussion with friends and family as I am trying to make sure I have my facts/arguments in place first.

"Does your partner actively encourage your feminist research and reading, and debate your feminism findings with you, including threads from this forum?"

I wouldn't say "actively encourages" - but he is interested as long as every conversation is not about Feminism .

"Has your approach changed over time?" - well I pretty much thought Feminism had achieved its aims , it just wasn't in my radar. I am now on board with the "Equality Illusion" school of thought.

Me too! Although I was thinking earlier - I think we're so used to the norm being women in competition with each other, that when you don't feel that, but just feel affection and pride in other women's achievements, you might wonder if you're gay? Does that sound mad? I mean, I get excited about meeting a fascinating, brilliant woman just as much as I get excited about meeting a fascinating, brilliant man. Which should be normal I suppose. But in fact you're so used to associating "admiration" with something that only men deserve, it makes you a bit confused?

I suppose what I mean is, maybe feminism makes us so much fonder of women that sometimes (used as we are to only admiring male qualities - which for straight women would be bound up with sexual attraction) we confuse our totally platonic feelings with loving ones?

Me too, despite my best efforts. Marriage is a tricky one. From a young age, I thought it was bizarre and not for me and I could never understand how anyone could go through the ceremonies attached to it. I did get married, for all sorts of reasons, though at the time I had reservations, not about dp, but about buying into the institution. I still do TBH, though we're in a happy and equal relationship. I didn't have a 'wedding' and there was no giving away, white dress stuff and there was no name change of course, still, I wonder ...

Sakura- what other male writers/books do you recommend? I never read books by men (ok maybe Bill Bryson) because I thought they couldn't possibly understand the female perspective. But I'd like to be proved wrong.

Sexist upbringing; boys sat in the front of the car as of right and girls in the back and I remember being absolutely furious about this and even more furious that I couldn't do anything about it, especially as the boy in the front was a bully. But I was also encouraged to do well at school and go to university and that was my salvation. I see the world through gendered eyes, have done since I started reading feminist theory and history. I still read a lot and think more about it than ever really since I had dc. Have feminist friends and go to a feminist group, but lots of people in my life don't really get it (not dh thankfully).

I was really impressed with Stephen King's Dolores Clairbourne. Imagine a man tackling a novel about child molestation, a mother who killed her husband when she found out, then the novelist taking the woman's side and showing the world what it was like to be a woman in that situation. that's real talent, I think.

from novels. I just read and read and read throughout my childhood, and I think the best literature and art, even those written by men, are transcendent. I think DOstoyevski and Stephen king have done a lot for women, for example. ANd people actually listen to them, because they're men . In fact I've always found the best male novelists, anyone truly brilliant, not to be sexist. It's the less brilliant writers that feel threatened by women and it shows in their work.
I was also aware of oppressive sexism everywhere around me, all the time and it just got worse and worse the older I got.

RB Equality Illusion is an 'easy' read (I mean not too technical, it is NOT an easy read in other respects!) Reclaiming the F Word is also good - they both cover similar ground but in different ways. I like Greer but can find her, well, a bit strident, but I guess if she didn't go all out the trail wouldn't be blazed (whether you agree with everything she says or not...!

Tabouleh - thank you. I am frankly a bit terrified by my own thread.

I'm going to order The Equality Illusion first I think. I have small kids, so I'm not necessarily the fastest reader so I think I'll do one at a time. Would love to discuss things with people on here as a I do.

On TFE, I tried it a few years ago and lost it a bit. As you know, I'm finding the same thing with TWW. Maybe if I go back to it after some other reading I will get on better, but at the moment I just find that going on about womb art seems a bit, well, abstract. I am very much a practical person and I would work from the practical down to issues like the number of words for womb, not the other way round.

As RibenaBerry's thread has got to derailed, I decided to invite her over to here to discuss some books I've read recently.

RibenaBerry - I think that you will really enjoy The Equality Illusion and Living Dolls.

You were finding The Whole Women a bit tough going. I have The Female Eunuch from the library and it is challenging and thought provoking but I'm glad I read the other two first.

I think that it is useful to read current literature that you can immediately identify with and then start to investigate the historic texts.