Good things about being a feminist

Where does it say that feminists have to do those things though? And that if they don't they're not feminists?

People were saying how they felt about it, not how everybody has to behave in order to join some kind of gang.

When you read these threads surely you realise that the regulars and occasionals who identify themselves as feminists often disagree on things?

Also my leg and armpit hair are so long, they are a bit troublesome. I'd like to be able to plait them, but am concerned that this would be considered a grooming activity and therefore anti-feminist.

I suppose it is more the prescriptions about what a feminist ought not do.

I have always considered myself to be at least equal to any man. I have excelled at a career in a male dominated industry and have always believed in equality and womans rights, spoken up where I have observed discrimination and generally, IMO, behaved in a "feminist" manner.

I then read these forums and realise that I am not actually a feminist because, amongst other things, I highlight my hair, wear high heals, hate getting my period, feel flattered if a man (or of course a woman) comments on my appearance, enjoy a bit of light spanking in the bedroom, get a brazillian every 6 weeks and changed my name when I got married.

And then I want to bang my head against the wall when I hear woman say "but why don't people want to be regarded as a 'feminist'"

I was also upset about having to divorce my husband and go and live in a lesbian commune.

Oh well.

Yuno I find that once I had really thought about things and found out some more about it, there was an awful lot going on around me all the time to get worked up about. Which can be quite tiring

Nancydrew what on this thread are the prescriptions about what feminists have to do?

I think this thread sums up the answer to the "why so many female critics of feminism"....it just makes "feminism" seem so prescribed and implies you only fit in if you adhere to a certain set of stereotypes.

I like being able to meet life on my own terms - within certain constraints due to the responsibilities that I myself have chosen and willingly bear

For me, feminism has always revolved around economic independence. Without economic equality, the rest is so much horseshit.

Are there bad things about being a Feminist then?

YES! I would give my right arm for pretty comfortable shoes. These were supposed to be the happy medium (I'm off proper heels since the kids) but my heels were not happy.

I often think that women who do the whole female prettification thing must be hard as fuck pain-threshold-wise. Hobbling shoes, having the hair ripped out of all the most sensitive areas, blow-drying hair for hours (it kills my arms after a while), all that heat so close to the skin, eye makeup and perming and dying and other things that make your eyes sting like a bastard (that may just be me ), having beauty treatments done that mean you have to restrict your behaviour/mobility for hours (or even DAYS) otehrwise it goes wrong.... All of these things are painful and difficult, I am genuinely quite awed (and not really in a good way) at the things people will go through...

On the shoes though, men used to wear heels didn't they. In those days though i expect many shoes were handmade so they probably fitted better.

My new shoes are so pretty though...

My lovely new shoes ripped my feet to shreds the other day

And they weren't even that high!

I took this as a light-hearted celebratory type thread, anyway.

What i like is that identifying myself as a feminist means that i can find somewhere like this to post about things that upset me and I don't have to have huge arguments/setting out of stalls/that sort of thing first.

hahaha SSM

Why would anyone want to write a list of why feminists (a group of women who don't know each other and don't necessarily agree on much) are better than "non-feminists" (a group of women who don't know each other and etc)? Why? Agree with those saying it's a thread to celebrate the differences that feminism has made to our lives.

For example I want to keep my name if I get married, for many reasons. If I wasn't a feminist and didn't know about feminism I would probably feel I had to, because of "tradition". Because I'm a feminist, I know I don't have to. What that's got to do with slagging off other women I don't know.

Self respect, self esteem and a sense of fairness. Being a role model for my children and an equal partner to my husband.

Feeling connected to other women throughout time and different places as well as in the present through shared understanding and values.

i dont feel like a fully qualified feminist yet, i feel like one in training (well i am lurking round here alot) but to me feminism means if you want to do something or not do something because of your own free choice and not because society or any man dictates. if i feel like wearing a short skirt with high heels and glitter on my eyelashes, i will, if i feel like getting on a scrambler and cutting tracks through a muddy field i will. teh two are not mutually exclusive (although i can forsee difficulty in wearing a short skirt and heels on a scrambler, but glitter would work ) as hobbies of a feminist.

To get back to the point

(15) A fantastic relationship with DH. I so glad that I was taught to think highly enough of myself to be able to turn down all the men that came before because they weren't up to scratch in their various ways. And now that I have DH, I'm glad that I have enough self respect to ensure my needs are provided for in our relationship as well as his.

(Disclaimer: It is noted that feminists and non-feminists alike can have positive personal relationships and these are not exclusively the domain of feminist women )

This thread is becoming odd. The point is not that all feminists don't wear heels or that all feminists enjoy their periods. The point is that for the individual poster who made each remark, that is what feminism meant for her - it has given her the opportunity to do things differently from how she would have done them if she had not become a feminist. It is about her individual feelings.

It is not a criticism of people who are not feminists, or people who wear high heeled shoes.