Good things about being a feminist

OrdinarySAHM half the things you describe as 'female' are social constructions. Woemn ARE NOT on average better at shopping/housework/childcare....it's just those are the roles we have been pushed into. I have no problem with womeone being a SAHM - that is your choice, but your description of a female I find alienating becuase I am none of those things. So having spent years with the pressure of having to look 'pretty' and girly and all the time feeling like a total fraud, being able to say I am not wearing make up, tottering along on high shoes, and making sure my knickers and bra match is frankly a relief....

I am a SAHM, obviously

"just realised that I have implied that being a SAHM is unfeminist - I didn't mean that, but it isn't pushing the boundaries of what women do in the way that succeeding in a male-dominated career is.)"

Actually, being a radical feminist and a SAHM is pushing the boundaries of what women do

"just realised that I have implied that being a SAHM is unfeminist - I didn't mean that, but it isn't pushing the boundaries of what women do in the way that succeeding in a male-dominated career is.)"

Actually, being a feminist and a SAHM is pushing the boundaries of what women do

Did you know that the leg models they use for tights and stocking ads are men?

(worried about the QI flashing lights now )

BigWeeHag, shaving was just an example, but if a woman feels she wants to shave eg her legs, because it accentuates the beautiful shape of a woman's legs and she wants to enjoy what she has as a woman and show it off, then it is sad if she feels she shouldn't because she doesn't want to let down the feminist cause. If she doesn't want to shave then that is fair enough.

I have never seen blonde pubes.

Not that I'm asking to see yours BigWeeHag, but I always have to share that when it comes up in conversation.

OrdinarySAHm, why is it sad if women don't shave? Men don't.

I will always be that as a person of natural blondeness (dyed purple for my own amusement) I will never have enough underarm hair to look like a PROPER feminist. Or pubes. It's a tragedy, I tell you.

I certainly don't reject traditional feminine activities. Baking and knitting etc. are fucking important.

Cleaning is necessary, but shouldn't take up all your time and if both partners work, then both partners should share the housework.

I reject high heels. I don't want to suffer and distort my muscles and skeleton to be beautiful. I think my feet and my wiggle are fine as they are.

It's just not true that women are more sociable, there's been studies done.
Gossipy women is another stick to beat us with.

I certainly don't look down on SAHM, I am one.

Feminism makes me feel quite insecure actually. I am doing what I want to do and what I prefer to do - being a SAHM, but I feel looked down upon by feminists and feel pressure to have a proper career and earn lots of money, and that I am thought of as weak if I rely on my DH to earn the money (he relies on me too - to look after the children and do the cooking and cleaning).

I think it is sad if feminism encourages women not to make the best of their female features eg physical ones, by not shaving, not wearing heels, makeup etc (these things seem to be suggested as characteristics of feminists on this thread). I find the differences that make females female, beautiful, and think those differences should be celebrated. I also find the differences that make males male attractive and think those differences should be celebrated.

Some 'brands' of feminism seem to be 'female-hating' to me, as they encourage women to be less like women and more like men. What is so wrong with being female, women are great! I find them to be on average, more aesthetically beautiful than men, more graceful, more emotionally expressive, better at empathy and sympathy, better at talking and being sociable, better at organising all the little things at the same time that keep things running smoothly, better to go shopping with, better at housework, better at childcare, better at using sensitivity when it is required etc etc (got to stop typing at some point) (not necessarily in that order of importance). I find men to be on average better than women at a whole load of other things, which are just as important things.

Things that it used to be thought traditionally that women were better than men at eg housework, childcare, caring roles etc, now seem to be scorned by feminists and thought of as demeaning. Someone has to do those things though! I can't see that they are demeaning if they are things that need to be done. If you make your DH do the housework because you feel it goes against feminism for you to do it, do you then disrespect him for doing it?

I accept that lots of women don't feel like doing things that were considered traditionally to be women's things, and that some women like doing things that were traditionally thought of as men's things and I agree with the 'brand' of feminism which thinks women should be given opportunities to do those things if they want to, but I don't agree with the 'brand' of feminism which would think I was crap for wanting to do the things that were traditionally thought of as women's things.

I'm quite confused over the definition of feminism. Depending on what the definition is, I may or may not agree with it, but I've received confusing messages about it. Some of them I don't agree with.

I don't know what number we're up to but for me the best thing about feminism is - realising that women age and it's ok!! The people who are fucked up about it are the weirdos, for a while there I thought I was the only one who didn't see it as a problem!

That's another sad thing actually isn't it.

That women are brought up to adorn themselves and make themselves look as pretty as possible, and that when you are young and your skin is smooth you can have fun with all teh glitter and sparkles and trying things out and wearing weird colours and whathaveyou.

Then when you've really got the hang of it and see it as quite an imaginative thing to do ie you have taken what society tells you to do and found some fun in it, then you have to stop doing it in case you look like "mutton dressed as lamb".

Why can't women have glittery eyeshadow when they get older? Why? That gets a "snoffair" in my book

That's brill Bertie.

I could do with some glitter actually ISNT.
I stopped wearing it cos I felt too old.

I love my mooncup too bertie, found out about it on MN.

Having a place where women can talk about all this stuff is brilliant. I mean in RL I never discuss sanitary protection with people. Not since school.

It is odd that a bit of hair on a leg is considered a sign of a total lack of personal care, hygeine, grooming, effort, it's the end of the world isn't it.

Weird.

When I was at school I remember when we were about 13 or 14 one of my darker haired classmates saying that she shaved her legs every single morning. At that age. I mean FGS. It's probably even worse now

I read the OP as meaning "How has feminism enhanced YOUR life"

And TBH I am a very new feminist - only just coming to listen to the ideas about it really. I just remember someone (who would definitely describe herself as a feminist) showing me something ages ago which made me realise how much loathing I had for my period and how ridiculous that was. And introducing me to the notion of a menstrual cup - which I finally got round to getting a few months back, and it has transformed me

So I don't know whether I am a feminist or not but feminism has made my life better in that way, most notably.

My boss and I spent an afternoon discussing length of leg and underarm hair the other day - just amazing how we had internalised all sorts of messages about how women should look....following day her hairy knees were on show (I don't do shorts so thats my excuse!!)

I like the fact that feminists don't look or behave in any set way, but all have a common desire, a better deal for women.

HOORAY!!!

And there's nothing wrong with a spot of hair dye...

It's much cheaper being a feminist.

I've been resisting the pull of Boots a great deal more since I started reading this board frequently.

I must admit to buying a hair dye today though.
It's not the aging I dislike, but the being 'worn down' by the shitty position this society leaves mothers in.

Seeing everything as it is is very wearing though, and makes me sad. Misogyny everywhere.

Hooray for blackduck feeling confident!

First i roffled at SSMs last post then I felt all warm and cheerful at yours blackduck.

I love this topic

For me it is about being comfortable in my own skin. And yes that largely (for me)means no high shoes, make up, waxing etc etc. It just isn't me ane never was and I spent a HUGE chunk of my growing up feeling I was abnormal, so for me, being able to say this is me, take me or leave me, is it.