Good things about being a feminist

All right. I'll do it.

I can't think straight.

Someone start a thread on the eco-parenting/modern convenience and womens work please?
I've been thinking about it a lot and would like a big discussion.

Yes I also meant to say that's a better way of putting it takver. I mean, there's a reason why all the chemical kitchen/bathroom crap is marketed at all those lucky ladies out there.

Takver totally agree about what you said about modern conveniences as a way of covering up sexism in a relationship. The same goes for hiring a cleaner in many cases. SOme men (not all) don't mind which woman is cleaning up after them, as long as they're not doing it themselves.

Oh yes, Elephants -irrational or emotional really make me

Good luck to both of you with the impending babies!

Yeah, I never expect my DP or male firends/family to "man up".

On the bad things list can we put having a full-scale row because my DP unthinkingly used "irrational" to describe my view on something we were disagreeing on. At least I was able to explain why using a word like that cut me to the quick.

Good luck SkaterGrrrl. I must admit, it has been a challenge - the hormones made everything a bit more 'exciting' too. I remember being all unexpectedly gooey feeling over my new DS, and there was a bit of me looking on thinking 'gosh - you are a staunch feminist trainee historian in your other life - what has happened to you?'.
Be gentle on yourself is the best advice I can think of.
Blackcurrents is right. I don't know if you have a partner, but if they are 'feminist allied' it helps enourmously.

SkaterGrrrrl that's exactly the position I'm in, too - I'll be interested to hear about your experiences. I've found having a feminist-allied DH is enormously useful, in terms of the kind of support I've had during the pg, and the kind of birth I and we want for the PFB... I've heard a lot of people moan about how their DH just doesn't get it, and what can you expect from men, eh - and I think: well you can expect them to be reasonable human beings, can't you? It amazes me how few people see just how bad the patriarchy is for men!

More good things about being a feminist: Following on from sprogger's post, treating the men in my life equally and having high expectations of them.

This includes not damaging DH with stereotyped expectations of how he should behave or what he should be. Knowing if DC1 is a son I won't damage him with any of that "Boys don't cry" gendering nonsense.

Welcome to the feminism folder socks!

I'm about to have my first baby and am very interested to see how it affects the balance of power in our relationship, with me not earning for a year & whether the household chores will fall to me.

I know what you mean about the completely new light, notenoughsocks - for me, one of the best things about being a feminist was realising that no, I wasn't bonkers - the world WAS actually stacked against women, because we live in a patriarchy. It was a relief to know I wasn't going mad

Thanks, pebbles, for that. Also - - forgot that one, - about seeing sexism EVERYWHERE.

Takver, I think the thing about feminism is that it is such a broad broad church - one feminist can completley contradict another and still both be feminists (IMHO). On the plus side, I like to think this is cos we are an open minded bunch and still working stuff out for ourselves. On the negative side, the bickering sometimes does sometimes do my head in.

Anyhow, enough of the difficulties now. Sorry to have done this on a 'best of' thread.

Best thing for me is that as I understood more about feminism I came to see the world in a compleltelty new light. Yes, it has made me quite annoyed, but also much more comfortable with me and confident about who I am (don't mean to sound so sickly but there it is).

Thats very true - perhaps an alternate way to see it, I think, is that a lot of 'modern conveniences' are a way of denying sexism within the family - trying to make the problem go away rather than confronting the issue of the way work is shared.

...to name but two, threelittlepebbles.

Totally agree, Takver. I wasn't saying it happens in all cases at all.

To put it another way, if you have either a very "traditional" setup with a SAHM and a man who goes out to work, or an undercurrent of sexism in the family, moving to a more eco-friendly lifestyle could definitely become chiefly the woman's burden.

This is mainly I suppose because many of these lifestyle changes are based around food and cleaning. More home cooking, fewer chemical products (which usually make cleaning faster, toxicity aside ), washing nappies rather than chucking them. It's the domestic sphere stuff I guess.

Definitely worth a thread, notenough - I'd argue the problem is mainstream capitalist/industrial society, rather than the eco-lifestyle (ie the divorce between life/work)

Advantages of feminism - its part of who I am, and about being a person, rather than some second class being.

Having said that, many of the threads on here have made me wonder (for the first time in my life, and not in a good way) whether I am a feminist in other peoples' sense.

You are right, elephants, eco life styles almost invariably involve more work. Before DS came along, me and DP used to share the domestic chores. But, having a baby has really shown up the gender differences/expectations and how intertwined everything really is.

My choice to breasfeed (and I have no regrets) means that I am now at home till end of mat leave and DP is out all day (he had to go back after months paternity). I do as much as I can around the home so we get some time out in the evening. Have discussed all this v.thourougly with DP if you are wondering.

But all the time I am busy doing all of these things - loving being with my son mixed up with bordom, sense of drudgedom and wishing for childcare, etc. etc. my feminist self is wondering what can be done.

Anyhow, the subject is really too big for here. Thanks for suggestion though Elephants. I would be v.interested to see what replies came up - when I next have half a day spare and am feeling brave, I will start a thread on it.

Great things about being a feminist?

Being right.

That's enough for me

I think that's an unfair generalisation, Elephants - I know an awful lot of hard core eco types (living in huts/benders, no power etc) and I would say that typically they have much less of a gender division of labour than in 'mainstream' society. Largely I suspect because of not being tied into the whole mortgage/job/consumption cycle, so much easier to just split things equally.