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Original poster

pronouns on booking form

281 replies

Iamawomanofconstantsorrow · 13/10/2026 15:01

What would you put in a form when it demands you fill in the pronoun box or it won't submit, and there is a danger said pronouns will be printed on the name badges? It's a professional conference.

OP posts:
SirChenjins · 13/10/2026 17:45

alcovecupboards · 13/10/2026 17:40

So then you could just put 'N/A' or 'no thank you' in the box. Good lord, it doesn't need to be a drama.

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They don't need to ask - they're not necessary in order for adults to function in the workplace, in the same way they don't need to ask for your marital status, religion, or favourite colour.

BerryTwister · 13/10/2026 17:48

TransParentlyAnnoyed · 13/10/2026 16:51

Lmao, "danger,," "submit". It's a form, not a kidnapping.

Actually hilarious.

Pronouns are incredibly helpful, especially these days when so many younger people, cis and trans, have ambiguous names and appearances. It's often hard to work out whether Jazz, Phoenix or Sid identify as male or female, and you may encounter names culturally unfamiliar to you. My friends Leslie and Jol both use pronouns in their email signatures so people will know they're women. Both are cis.

There's so much evil in the world to be fought. Making very basic accommodations and being polite to people different to you, is not violence.

@TransParentlyAnnoyed women are women, men are men. No need for the word cis.

Dontcallmescarface · 13/10/2026 17:56

GreenwayHouse · 13/10/2026 16:06

I was asked my pronouns in a meeting for the first time ever the other day. I said that I don’t do the pronoun thing and they could call me whatever they wanted. The person asking looked appalled.
It was all nonsense anyway because no one was going to be referring to me in the third person in the meeting.

Afterwards, I thought I should have said “he/him” in a very serious voice just to see what they did, as I’m clearly a woman and that would have been a piss take.

Edited to add that I’ve recently changed organisations. My new organisation provides healthcare. And it’s quite scary how many senior people don’t seem to know the difference between a man and a woman.

Edited

I replied to the "what pronouns do you use?" question with " I/me are what I use when referring to myself, if you need to talk about me when I'm not there you can use my first name".

SerendipityJane · 13/10/2026 17:58

alcovecupboards · 13/10/2026 17:40

So then you could just put 'N/A' or 'no thank you' in the box. Good lord, it doesn't need to be a drama.

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Some boxes have been engineered to force a response that isn't "N/A".

SerendipityJane · 13/10/2026 17:59

SirChenjins · 13/10/2026 17:45

They don't need to ask - they're not necessary in order for adults to function in the workplace, in the same way they don't need to ask for your marital status, religion, or favourite colour.

Edited
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Or sexuality ....

SirChenjins · 13/10/2026 18:02

SerendipityJane · 13/10/2026 17:59

Or sexuality ....

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Definitely

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 13/10/2026 18:06

Making very basic accommodations and being polite to people different to you, is not violence.

Neither is thinking that insisting on pronouns is a load of old wank. Funny how the politeness is only ever expected to go one way.

leperol · 13/10/2026 18:10

I did put "Why?" in the mandatory box once. Didn't get an answer 😊

SerendipityJane · 13/10/2026 18:16

leperol · 13/10/2026 18:10

I did put "Why?" in the mandatory box once. Didn't get an answer 😊

A lot of outfits tend to use US based software which has wised up to such tricks and only lets you select from a very carefully curated list.

The only way we will ever put a stake through the heart of this bollocks is to engage with it with such boundless enthusiasm so as to make them wish they had never started.

Changing pronouns mid meeting is one. Remember you have the "right" to raise merry hell if anyone tries to erase your identity.

All of this shit irritates me, as I started fighting it in the early 80s.

RapidOnsetGenderCritic · 13/10/2026 19:18

Capricorn/Gemini

RareGoalsVerge · 13/10/2026 19:24

Iamawomanofconstantsorrow · 13/10/2026 15:30

There is no option of N/A, it's not a tick box, it's a box you can write whatever you like in.

I can therefore write N/A, but it's annoying not to be able to decline to write anything.

Write "making this question obligatory is a direct contravention of Yogyakarta Principle 6 and amounts to an inappropriate demand for information that should be free for individuals to disclose or not according to their choice"

ahagwearsapointybonnet · 13/10/2026 19:27

Zimunya · 13/10/2026 15:46

I only ever quote Principle 6, for the reasons you have outlined. But Principle 6 still has it's uses.

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That's still giving the message "you should follow [all] these Principles, they're good practice", though. There are plenty of other reasons you could give - even just "have you considered this might make trans-identifying/questioning people feel pressured to state pronouns before they're ready?" if you must put it from that viewpoint, without promoting those horrendous "principles".

Boiledbeetle · 13/10/2026 19:38

alcovecupboards · 13/10/2026 17:43

Nothing convinces me more that people don't have jobs than half the suggestions on here.

One of the joys of being a lady of independent means!

ahagwearsapointybonnet · 13/10/2026 19:44

RareGoalsVerge · 13/10/2026 19:24

Write "making this question obligatory is a direct contravention of Yogyakarta Principle 6 and amounts to an inappropriate demand for information that should be free for individuals to disclose or not according to their choice"

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Aaaarghhh! 😱
(See previous replies!)

GreyskySexRealistsky · 13/10/2026 20:16

Boiledbeetle · 13/10/2026 19:38

One of the joys of being a lady of independent means!

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When you say "independent means" you're referring to that funding from the American far right, aren't you?

You know you were supposed to share that, don't you? Don't you??

SirChenjins · 13/10/2026 20:29

Boiledbeetle · 13/10/2026 19:38

One of the joys of being a lady of independent means!

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You're JKR aren't you? I bloody knew it!!

RogueFemale · 13/10/2026 21:36

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 13/10/2026 18:06

Making very basic accommodations and being polite to people different to you, is not violence.

Neither is thinking that insisting on pronouns is a load of old wank. Funny how the politeness is only ever expected to go one way.

Quite.

RogueFemale · 13/10/2026 21:40

alcovecupboards · 13/10/2026 17:43

Nothing convinces me more that people don't have jobs than half the suggestions on here.

Shocking how we're not all kept silenced by perpetual drudgery and childbirth.

MyrtleLion · 13/10/2026 21:46

LadyChilli · 13/10/2026 17:34

Why do people need to know that they are female? We have managed this for years when dealing with foreign colleagues whose names we do not easily recognise as indicating one sex or another, without supplying pronouns to each other. The reality is unless we are ordering PPE or similar it doesn't actually matter what sex someone is. And even PPE is not a great example because in my experience as a woman we just get men's PPE anyway.

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Proper fitting PPE is actually very important for women because it is mostly designed for men. Mostly it’s too big and needs to be ruched up and it prevents women being able to do their jobs properly.

Denim4ever · 13/10/2026 21:52

SausageRoll2020 · 13/10/2026 16:01

Someone I used to work with chose She / Her Majesty 👑

Tugs forlock

itstoolateforsnacks · 13/10/2026 22:02

TransParentlyAnnoyed · 13/10/2026 16:51

Lmao, "danger,," "submit". It's a form, not a kidnapping.

Actually hilarious.

Pronouns are incredibly helpful, especially these days when so many younger people, cis and trans, have ambiguous names and appearances. It's often hard to work out whether Jazz, Phoenix or Sid identify as male or female, and you may encounter names culturally unfamiliar to you. My friends Leslie and Jol both use pronouns in their email signatures so people will know they're women. Both are cis.

There's so much evil in the world to be fought. Making very basic accommodations and being polite to people different to you, is not violence.

That’s nice for Leslie and Jol. I totally agree with you that basic accommodations and politeness are important. So why not accommodate women who don’t like the whole state your pronoun thing? Genuinely, please explain.

SeasideWalkaroundStore · 13/10/2026 22:12

"Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateaturipukakapiki/Maungahoronukupokaiwhenuakitanatahu"

And if they refuse to acknowledge your pronoun identity in full, they are hateful bigots who deserve to be cancelled.

Boiledbeetle · 13/10/2026 22:17

GreyskySexRealistsky · 13/10/2026 20:16

When you say "independent means" you're referring to that funding from the American far right, aren't you?

You know you were supposed to share that, don't you? Don't you??

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Of course.

Define 'share'.

Only if your definition 100% matches mine will the first digit in the vault code be handed over.

Boiledbeetle · 13/10/2026 22:18

SirChenjins · 13/10/2026 20:29

You're JKR aren't you? I bloody knew it!!

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No, but I lend her my superyacht sometimes.

RedCatta · 13/10/2026 22:22

Ah, it’s just the pronouns you’d like people to use when discussing or referring to you :)