Can we talk about bisexuality?

How do you not get this when you say you’ve “been mixing in lesbian, women's, feminist and LGB circles for 40 years” and “been to thousands of women's events.”

Nike
Just Do It

was a huge advert campaign.

The T-shirt is a play on words,

Dike
Just Do Her

Spelled it Dike instead of Dyke so you get the allusion to Nike.
Doing someone is slang for having sex with them.

I'm bi and I must admit I often feel unwelcome amongst lesbians. Trying to on line date on lesbian sites and I have transwomen really pushing to meet up or talk when I'm not interested. Very male pushy attitude. Then actual lesbians saying they only want to date lesbians. No one is interested in me except men with kink, or so it feels.

But I remember a good lesbian friend who dated a bi women who was really hurt when that woman went back to men. She spoke about feeling like an experiment and used. I imagine that's a contributing factor for why some lesbians won't date bi women.

I think if it's an LGB even then bisexuals should NOT be bringing a straight partner.

I've mostly been with men because I've been funnelled into that. And men are pushy where I've never even had a woman approach me. There is a hole in a community for bi women who are with men out of ease or internalised homophobia. It certainly feels lonely as we don't fit anywhere really. But if I was attending an LGB even I would never bring a straight partner as it would impact the feel of the event for everyone. Also having dated men I would never want straight men there because from my experience they like the idea of girl on girl action and make my history and trying to work out what I am a kink for male gratification.

If I want to date men I have most places for that. If I want to mix within straight community again many many places for that. Working out who I am and how I relate to women is not easy to do and that's why i do feel part of LGB but not with a male partner in tow. Definitely keep heterosexual couples out the LBG events OP.

Well you don't seem to want them there @JoyousGreyOrca. I don't disagree with you about bringing male partners, but this is the point that is being made, although groups say in theory that they are for bisexual women, lesbians don't want us there. It might be the spicy straight type bisexual women that lesbians particularly object to, but it affects all of us.

Went to a group today and there were more bi women with husbands than lesbians. So no idea why you all think you are not welcome.

I'm just confirming that I've just chatted to @TheColourOutOfSpace - it's great she's getting together a group of bisexual women, I encourage anyone else to get in touch if you'd like a space of our own!

Hello! A reminder to any bisexual women on this thread who are looking for a support and social group for bi women who understand that humans come in two sexes - drop me a message. 😊

At work - will get back to you later. On Twitter. Including the LGB Alliance account itself at times I seem to recall, but definitely in replies to that account.

My very first experience talking to lesbians, at a bus station, after London Pride 1999. One had a t-shirt that said "DIKE Just Do Her" and I complimented it because it was funny and apt.

I don’t keep screenshots of hatred aimed towards me. That would be a surprising thing to do.
Bi-phobia is real. It is rampant on Mumsnet as well where bi people are continued told that they will obviously cheat.
The women who went on about her male partner was, I suspect, very tedious. And clearly not what the group was for. But that doesn’t seem to me like a reason to exclude all bi people. Merely a reason to exclude all tediously irritating people who can’t keep focused on the group aims. And I would totally support that.

Do you have a link/screenshot?

Senior members and supporters on Twitter have posted around the idea that bi people are in denial/need to pick a team/are mostly spicy straight/trend following sheep.

We already know that bi women face higher rates of DV (from men, I hasten to add) than both lesbians and straight women. This might be a causal factor.

Again I hear echoes of the transgender interlopers who say that any lesbian who refuses to contemplate sex with a person with a penis is behaving like a racist.

I'm trying to make it clear that I recognise a difference between "I don't date bis, so no thanks" and open disgust that I've dared to set foot in a space that is allegedly for me.

I already don't go into lesbian spaces unless it's explicit that bi women are allowed there.

That was absolutely not the impression I got as a bi woman at the most recent LGB conference. I felt very included.

I have some of the situations that created the lesbian community of old just gone though @Pluvia? When I think about my community in Hackney in the 1980s/90s most of us were at least partly estranged from our families of origin, the section 28, it wasn't illegal to discriminate against us, lesbians were having their kids taken away, the majority of people thought same-sex relationships were wrong, there was much more overt homophobia, there was AIDS, things are just a lot better in the wider society (notwithstanding the trans issue, but that's more divisive than uniting).

The autism thing is interesting though, if I look back, I can see quite a lot of trauma in my old lesbian community, though that could've been because I was hanging around mostly with women involved in fighting against male violence against women, but not so much ND.

@pluvia
Unfortunately not, its a wellbeing survey for staff and the focus was on mental health and inclusivity. They are putting together a steering group to look at why the figures were so different for our group.

That sounds good @tinseltitss - my workplace doesn't even have bisexual on the staff monitoring system, I had to put myself down as "other", which has probably given HR something to talk about 😂