Pronoun policing in hobby groups

It is cultural. In Brittany, embroidery is traditionally a man's craft.

Some of the most successful anti-women activists from the UK are very discreet, under-the-radar campaigners, such as Stephen Whittle and James Morton. I believe Morton, for example, was the one who successfully pushed the policy where men were to be placed in women’s prisons in Scotland and Whittle is one of the two main players in bringing about the GRA. I cannot see that anyone would do those things without despising women.

‘Hi Ladies’ as an opener has always irritated me. Especially as people use it on all the things they think are exclusively female pursuits such as cooking, craft and parenting. Even if Mike or Tom have posted about the school play an hour earlier, we still get ‘Hello Ladies, can everyone make something for the bake sale’ on the parent chat. Have you checked that the group doesn’t include anything actual men? It certainly never occurs to some of the mums in my daughter’s class.

You might find many of the more vitriolic posters are actually bots and not real people

I’m on hat very same FB group. I left because of the lecture from that non binary poster telling us all how to address everyone. They’re so bloody fragile even a hey guys had to be endlessly dissected and discussed and I just couldn’t be arsed anymore.

If we are thinking of the same site, the site owner (administrator) mentioned using funds for his medication as it seems he's less of an enby and more of a would be 'woman'.

I've seen lots of people being pulled up for saying Hi guys and told not to use gendered language in hobby groups.

I don't think I'd be able to relax in a group like that. Say the wrong thing and they might report you to the police for thought-crime.

Not crafts but words... I like word games, and I play Scrabble Go online, and another game called WordRoll, both good fun. When I first started I would play with anybody who offered me a game and very quickly found out that any bloke who did so really was only interested in the 'chat' function and wanted to chat me up. I am 74 and that's reasonably obvious from my picture. It got very wearying, especially when none of these guys even gave you a good game, so I learned to block anybody who tries the chat-up routine. I now play Scrabble with a nice group of four women, two of whom I know personally (and they're in the UK so that's a nice way of staying in touch for me), and with anybody on WordRoll that doesn't try to chat me up.

If only I had the ability (and patience) to knit or crotchet, a green, white and purple pussy hat would be a great thing to wear for voting. And it's in February, so it's likely to be cold enough to wear a hat.

Also share your conundrum, just don't know who to vote for.

My post was a bit unclear. I meant in addition it would be a way to avoid men demanding horrible porny things. I wasn’t suggesting lesbians weren’t properly female they most certainly are.

Indeed, lesbianism would seem like a good call, but creepy guys calling themselves transbians pursue you even there it seems!

One of my late uncles was in the Navy during ww2 and he did exquisite embroidery during the periods when nothing was happening, as did many of his fellow sailors.

I've been following the press given to a very heavily male dominated cycling forum (hardly a surprise) which has been warning of closure after the provisions of the Online Safety Act start kicking in (that would be a separate thread). The administrator is an enby, and there have been complaints when his (oops) pronouns aren't honoured. Needless to say the Guardian/Observer, for one, made a swift correction.

Ask her to explain all about what being an enby means. Nod and smile sympathetically, then say your gran had conservative ideas about gender once but then she realised that women can have short hair/be Mathematicians/not wear make up, etc etc.

Because that’s all it is: an inability to understand that women don’t have to conform to stereotypes. They won’t admit it, but it is. I’ve never heard a coherent explanation of what an enby is that doesn’t rely on stereotypes or an inability to comprehend that women can think, act and feel in millions of different ways.

Fucking hell!! I have led a sheltered life. My Ravelry life is spent looking at hats, Christmas decorations and soft toys. And packers to me meant Green Bay Packers. No more. Shudder.

but to answer your question, yes they do still have them. Flipping knitted willies!!!

I know of one well known (in those circles!) male cross stitcher (I was at school with him so I know he’s definitely always been a him too).

But yeah, why does it have to be at the centre of everything they do? If someone started a thread on my decluttering group saying “hi guys, I’ve been clearing out my mug cupboard” my first thought would NOT be to correct their use of “guys” and complain that I was being excluded and/or triggered by their fucking post. They all need to grow up.

The last straw was when I spent a session behind him wearing a black negligé, fishnet tights and no underpants.

oh dear god, arsehole literally not just metaphorically

I'm so glad everyone in the craft group I go to is female and civilised and given to wearing clothes.

Do Ravelry still have loads of 'packer patterns' available on there? I left at that point.

Link from @RethinkingLife corrected:
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/4186758-arseholes-who-ve-ruined-groups-and-hobbies

The bolded words were messing it up.

@MissScarletInTheBallroom in a way that's a relief. Some of them are totally bonkers for this stuff over there!

My description of them going over to the Dark Side is only partly in jest. Like others, I sympathise with teenagers wanting an opt out, but find adults continuing with the 'not like other women' line tedious at best, and the implicit assumption from a few that they can't be a REAL scholar (or whatever) and a woman at the same time is deeply shitty.

Oh, I find this so depressing. Trans ideology has ruined so much!

@MissScarletInTheBallroom can I ask - can you tell if these women on the facebook group are in the UK or all over the world?

(I want to feel like it's more of an issue in other countries, although judging by what's gone on with the UK Women's March fb groups, I'm not so sure)/

Internalised misogyny is a thing.